Wedding Guest Who Doesn’t Drink Declines to Sip Champagne During Toast to Newlyweds — and Mom Says ‘It’s Rude’
The guest wrote on Reddit that they felt “weirdly pressured and uncomfortable” by their mom's insistence that it was bad etiquette not to drink the champagne
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A champagne toast (stock image)A wedding guest got flak for not drinking the champagne during a celebratory toast to the newlyweds.
In a recent post on Reddit’s “Am I the A------?” forum, the guest shared that they had just attended a wedding and the experience made them “immeasurably happy.” However, there was one not-so-pleasant moment during the event, they said.
Someone gave a speech, followed by a toast, and the guest convivially raised their glass but declined to drink the champagne. “I do not drink any alcohol. None whatsoever — not even a sip,” they explained of their choice not to partake. “It’s simply not something I’m comfortable with.”
Related: Bride’s Mom Gives Cringy Speech at Her Wedding: ‘You Used to Be So Bothersome’
But when the guest’s mother saw that they were not drinking the bubbly, she got “upset” and — with a “slightly raised voice” — told them, “It’s rude not to drink the champagne after a toast.” The mother said “something about it being insincere.”
The guest assured their mother that it wasn’t their intention to be rude and they simply did not feel comfortable drinking. “But I felt weirdly pressured and uncomfortable, so I settled for taking a sip of a different beverage for the following toasts,” they wrote in their post. “I don’t get why [my mother] got so upset.”
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The guest concluded their post by inviting fellow Redditors to weigh in on whether they were wrong not to drink the champagne on this particular occasion, despite their alcohol-free lifestyle.
The majority of commenters agreed that the guest broke no etiquette rules and had no obligation to imbibe. “I just checked two etiquette sites that both say you were not rude. The toast is about the words — not the drinks. She probably caused more of a scene than you did,” one person wrote, referring to the guest’s mother.
Another person added, “Alcohol consumption is not necessary for a toast. There is a superstition that you should have a sip of your drink at the end of the toast for good luck, but it does not need to be champagne. I toast with water all the time.”
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A group of people clinking glasses (stock image)Yet another commenter chimed in: “You raised your glass to participate in the toast, and there’s nothing wrong with skipping the champagne if you don’t drink alcohol. It’s about celebrating and supporting the couple, not what’s in your glass. Your mom may have felt it was a breach of tradition, but ultimately, respecting your own boundaries isn’t rude.”
Someone else offered the guest some helpful advice.
“Allow me to introduce you to the art of social camouflage," they wrote. "In this particular case, what you do is raise the flute in the toast, smile, bring the flute to your lips and tilt the cup up briefly. Now your mouth should be covered. Dry swallow while getting nothing in your mouth, then lower the cup and smile."
The commenter added: "Congratulations, you're becoming a social chameleon!”
