Mum praised for relatable post about losing yourself in motherhood
A mum has been praised by other parents for sharing a relatable post about losing yourself in motherhood.
Jessica Hood, 31, a parenting blogger from Melbourne, shared the powerful post to Instagram explaining the life changing impact becoming a mum can have.
“I don’t know who I am anymore,” she began her post. “My life consists of putting everyone else first. Their needs, their happiness but who is putting my needs first or my happiness?”
She goes on to describe her days which consist of school runs and cleaning up around everyone, with no offers to help.
“I don’t really talk to anyone. I never realised how lonely I was until recently. I never realised how much I wasn’t myself anymore until i took a step back and looked at the bigger picture. And yet this is all to common as women,” she continues.
“As mothers. We give every bit of who we are and what makes us happy in order to please others. We take the backseat until eventually we become unrecognisable and then we get told we have ‘changed’.
“We stare at our reflection trying to find just a small part of person we once were,” she adds.
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While she acknowledges that part of the “beauty” of marriage and motherhood is that you unintentionally become selfless, she believes this has a knock-on effect of making you feel that as a person you become non existent.
“I can’t remember the last time I was really happy, I mean really happy. I love my family more than anything but I’m not happy.
“Gosh I can’t remember the last time I felt some sort of emotion other than sadness and stress. Perhaps it’s because my needs are no longer met and yet I feel bad for even just saying that, as if that’s just how it is ment [sic] to be. As if I’m not even a person, an individual or someone that matters.”
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The blogger goes on to acknowledge the emotional labour she, and many other mothers, carry out on a day-to-day basis, which leaves her feeling stressed and run down.
“Our job never ends, we may not get “paid” for our job but it’s 24/7. The emotional exhaustion is overwhelming, the repetitive groundhog days are mentally draining.
“Arguing with tiny people who think they know better. Cooking meals that aren’t up to their satisfaction. Feeding plates of food to the dog because no one liked your cooking.”
But while many will assume this is just part of motherhood, Hood is keen to point out that becoming a parent shouldn’t mean losing yourself.
“Motherhood doesn’t mean we aren’t individuals or that we need to give every ounce of ourselves to prove our love or capabilities,” she explains.
“Sometimes we need to be selfish.
“Sometimes we need to throw in the towel and let someone else fold the laundry.”
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She concludes her emotional post by revealing that she has decided it is time for change.
“Today is the day I decided that I’m gonna chase my happiness and find my sparkle,” she wrote.
“Even if that leads me on a path I never knew existed. To be a better mother. To realise my worth as a woman. I’m not JUST a mum, I’m a motherf***ing superwoman, and so are you.”
Since sharing the candid post, the comments section has been flooded with comments praising the parenting blogger for her honesty and sharing their own similar experiences.
“Oh my God yes yes yes. These are the words I have been looking for, trying to escape my mouth,” one user wrote.
“I have just had surgery and have been off my feet for 2 weeks, I have had the huge awakening, I have realised I do too much for my family, I’m taken for granted, I’m a nag, I actually don’t have myself in me, I just have routine and making sure EVERYONE ELSE is running smooth and happy. Time for change!!! Time to be appreciated. Time to find me.”
“This is exactly how I feel,” agreed another. “Too true that I teared up . It’s so hard sometimes :( .”
“I feel you!” agreed another user. “I’ve been here over and over. I like the expression ‘filling my cup’ to get reminded that if I have nothing in my cup no one will get anything good from me.
“It’s hard to find the balance, but where there is a need and a will we will always find a way!” she continued. “You’ve got this mumma! I loved reading this and feeling like I'm not the only one who feels this way.”
The mum-of-four tells Yahoo UK that she decided to share the post to show an alternative view of parenting to the glossy side that is often presented.
“We tend to hear so much about the ‘positive’ and ‘happy’ side of motherhood,” she says. “No one really talks about the raw and real side to what it's like being a mother or how life changing it really is.
“But the effects on a woman’s mental health when she becomes a parent are huge.
“I wanted to create a safe space and break the stigma that motherhood is always ‘perfect’.”
Hood says she hoped so many mothers could relate to the feelings expressed in her post.
“I know how common it is to lose your identity once you become a mum,” she continues. “I wanted other mothers to know although they may feel alone they’re not.”
And since sharing she’s been contacted by other mothers who have been feeling similar emotions.
“I’ve had so many wonderful women reach out to me sharing their thoughts and stories,” she says.
“It feels great knowing I made a positive impact and gave them a voice to speak up.”
