Jessie J shares miscarriage details for first time: 'I've never felt so lonely'
Jessie J has shared the heartbreaking details of her miscarriage for the first time, revealing how her baby had died within three hours of two scans the same day and that she'd "never felt more lonely" in her life.
The singer, 34, shared in November that she'd lost her baby the day before a gig in LA, which she still went on to do. She has since archived the post and had previously kept her pregnancy private.
"Within the first scan and the second scan the baby had passed," she said recalling that devastating day, speaking to Steven Bartlett on The Diary of a CEO.
The Price Tag singer said she had woken up one morning and realised, "I don't feel right".
"I just knew, something wasn't the same," she explained, despite still having very intense nausea.
The star immediately went to visit a doctor, recalling "that dreadful silence when you first have a scan and they don't say anything".
"I was like 'just tell me the truth, what's going on'," she added, "and she [the doctor] said 'your baby's heartbeat is very low and there's this ring', and I was like 'well what does that mean' and she said 'it often means that the baby will have some sort of disability or deformity'.
"And I said, 'but it's still there?' and she was like 'yeah it's still there.'"
Read more: Jessie J vows to become a mother 'whichever way it happens' following miscarriage
The doctor said they could do blood tests to check if the baby was still growing, but Jessie wanted a second opinion as soon as possible, and managed to see another doctor who only had 10 minutes free before going into a surgery.
"So I went in very quickly and he did another scan," she said, "and he said 'I'm really sorry there's no heartbeat', and that was within about three or four hours of the first one [scan]."
"I felt like I'd been given everything I'd ever wanted and someone had gone 'but you cant have it'," she added.
"But it was still there, and I would sing to it every night, and when I got home that night and I lay there, I've never felt so lonely in my life."
Jessie didn't reveal the father of the baby though previously acknowledged she had decided to have a baby on her own. She has since been seen dating basketball player Chanan Colman.
Speaking on her empathy for others, Jessie said, "The saddest point of the whole experience for me, other than the painful part of it, is that it breaks my heart that so many women have gone through it.
"It's such a physically painful and emotionally painful experience that you almost don't want to talk about it because you need people to see it to know." She also addressed that everyone's experience is different.
"The hardest part for me wasn't doing the show, it was when I got in the car after the show by myself and I got home and I opened my front door and I fell to my knees.
"I realised that, other than my career, being a mother and having a child has been the biggest excitement of my life and I've always been super maternal."
Read more: Jessie J shares infertility struggles, but vows she will be a mum one day
Looking to the positives, Jessie said she is grateful she was able to experience being pregnant and it has opened the door for her to love herself deeper. She recently said she hopes to become a mother in the next two years "whichever way it happens", on Michelle Visage's Rule Breakers podcast.
Jessie has since described the interview with Bartlett as "The most honest, raw, emotional, candid, vulnerable conversation I have ever had publicly" on Instagram.
Read more: Charlotte Dawson shares devastating miscarriage: 'I'm heartbroken beyond words'
Around one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage and about one in 100 women in the UK experience recurrent miscarriages (three or more in a row), Tommy's Pregnancy Hub reports.
They can happen to anyone who is able to get pregnant.
However, for those who have recurrent miscarriages, more than six in 10 women still go on to have a successful pregnancy.
If you or someone you know have been affected by miscarriage, you can call The Miscarriage Association's helpline on 01924 200799, email info@miscarriageassociation.org.uk or visit its pregnancy loss forum.
You should also seek advice from your GP if you are struggling after miscarriage.
Watch: Jessie J determined to have a baby 'in the next two years'
