Alexandra Burke: 'My anxiety and IBS were crippling, yet I put on a fake happy face'

Mother-of-two Alexandra Burke shares how she manages her IBS and anxiety, and the heartwarming reason why she doesn't mind having sleepless nights with her two children, who are aged eight months and 20 months.

Singer Alexandra Burke has one of the most powerful voices in the industry. Since winning the X Factor in 2008, she has gone on to sell over five million records in the UK. The 35-year-old is also a well-known actress, appearing as one of the lead women in West End shows including The Bodyguard, Chess, Chicago, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and Sister Act, which she is due to return to this summer.

Here she shares her struggle with IBS and anxiety, and reveals why she likes to bring her children to work with her and doesn't mind them keeping her awake at night...

You’ve talked quite openly about how you've suffered from IBS. Yet, for so long you hid the pain you were experiencing. How bad was it?

The only way I can describe the pain is comparing it to ten times worse than a period cramp. The abdominal pain was absolutely excruciating. Around three years ago, I remember rehearsing for a tour of the show Joseph And The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat and the pain was so intense I just wanted to curl up in to a ball. I was also so bloated and had bad fatigue, yet I just had to push through. My anxiety was through the roof.

Are your anxiety and IBS linked?

I’ve always had anxiety, which probably got worse after I won the X Factor as I was thrust into the public eye. It definitely made my IBS worse as I think the stress I felt made my symptoms stronger. At times my anxiety and IBS were so crippling, yet I just put on a fake happy face.

I originally put the pain down to my anxiety, being busy, not sleeping well or eating properly, I only wish I had spoken to my GP sooner. I think at the time I was too shy and embarrassed to open up about how I was feeling which is why I talk about it now so anyone else with bad IBS knows they don’t have to suffer in silence.

Did your IBS symptoms go away in pregnancy or flare up?

Well, the best thing was as soon as I spoke to my doctor and got diagnosed with IBS, I understood how to manage the symptoms. And going on the probiotic Symprove was life-changing as it is safe to take in pregnancy and totally helped calm my symptoms down. I still get the odd flare-up but that is only when I forget to take it if I am on holiday, for example, and it has made me feel like a new woman. I literally got my life back thanks to it.

And how do you manage your anxiety now?

Certain things exacerbate my anxiety, such as big life-changing events or when I have a live show to do. I have always loved keeping fit and think it is amazing for my mental health so going to the gym daily definitely helps. If I have to miss a day I can’t function sometimes but the endorphins I get from doing pilates, spinning and running really help keep me calm.

With a baby and a toddler, how do you manage juggling work with being a parent?

Trust me, it takes a whole village to help! I’m so lucky as I have a good group of friends and family who are always happy to help me and a nanny from time to time too. Plus, being self-employed means I can organise my work around the children and everyone knows I like to bring them with me to work sometimes which for me is the best set-up. I feel safe with them near me.

And, I know it is an unusual thing for a new mum to say if they are going to work the next day but I love having no sleep as it means I can stare at the babies sleeping. My partner Darren thinks I’m crazy!

Your mother Melissa obviously played a hugely important role in your life. Do you see yourself parenting your own children in the same way she mothered you?

I’d like to say so as she was the most amazing mother. She was a free spirit, yet just wanted the best for all her kids and I remember how much she encouraged me to take my career seriously. She had a very relaxed manner and always let us know we could talk to her about anything.

Like her, I hope to be strict but fair, without a proper parenting rule book. The most important thing is for your kids to know they can open up to you about anything, and I hope as my two grow up they will know this.

And on the topic of your mother, your charity event, the Spring Ball, is this week. How are you feeling about it? [In 2018, after the death of her mother Melissa Bell, Alexandra set up a foundation in her name to help disadvantaged children gain access to music, dance and drama classes at the world-renowned Sylvia Young Theatre School in London.]

This ball is obviously very close to my heart as it raises money for her foundation and also my close friend Nick Ede’s Style for Stroke charity. The event is in memory of both our mothers. It is a really joyful and uplifting night with incredible music. It’s important for me to have happy memories of my mother and I’m always so blown away by the money we raise that makes a huge difference to people’s lives. My mum believed that regardless of your background anything is possible if you put your mind to it. And I totally agree.

Alexandra is an ambassador for water-based probiotic Symprove.

Read more

Alexandra Burke: I was a ‘yes girl’ when I first started out in music - I know myself more now (Evening Standard, 3-min read)

Alexandra Burke welcomes second child just over a year after her first: Benefits of a small age gap (Yahoo Life UK, 4-min read)

Alexandra Burke emotional as reveals reason she hasn't shared baby’s name or gender (Yahoo Life UK, 3-min read)