What to do if you're a reluctant romantic who has 'forgotten' Valentine's day

Forgotten Valentine’s day have we, eh? Sigh. Welcome to the dog house. Pull up a chair, let’s have a chat.

Society decrees 14th February be the day you express your love, whether through the giving of material things or the haemorrhaging of money on experiential purchases. Thoughtful gestures straight from the heart are also permitted but please use your discretion when selecting this option. Whatever you choose, if your significant other is the type to get all weak at the knees over the commercialisation of love, take a deep breath and just comply. It’ll make life easier in the long run.

Don’t stress, but it’s late in the day and chances are your favourite restaurant’s fully booked and the florist fresh out of roses. Shucks. Now listen, we can do this one of two ways: the crushingly expensive way or the cute-and-thoughtful-DIY-loads-of-planning-definitely-went-into-this way. The choice is yours but you must act fast. Damage limitation and all that.

Carpet picnic

Not that kind! Well, that kind if you like but please! Have these conversations in your own time. Now concentrate. Get your American fanny down to the supermarket and swipe a bottle of fizz and whatever luxury foods are left on the shelves. Don’t forget to pay for them. Lay a picnic blanket down on the living room floor – or if you’re in a house share, spare your flatmates and stick to the bedroom – et voila, a romantic indoor picnic. Oh babes, you’re so thoughtful.

Movie night

Impress your sweetheart with a movie night courtesy of BFI Player. Choose from hundreds of classic and critically acclaimed titles.

Games night

If gaming is your bag, go retro this Valentine’s day and cosy up with candles, a big bottle of your favourite spirit and a two-player board game. For inspiration visit here and here.

Write a love letter

Go old school by putting pen to paper and writing your love a missive straight from the heart. List all the things you love about them, your happiest memories and hopes for the future. Do a little sick, mop your mouth and hide it away some place they’re bound to find it on Valentine’s morning.

Delay the gratification

You? Forget Valentine’s day? Nah! You just couldn’t get tickets/time off work for bang on the 14th for a romantic get away to (insert destination here), right? Now get your butt over to teletext holidays (yes it still exists) and bag yourself one of their bargain last minute breaks. If you can contact your significant other’s boss to get them time off work, all the better, otherwise make it a fun activity to do on Valentine’s evening.

Discover tarot cards

Spend an exciting evening together experimenting with tarot cards. The Original Rider Waite deck goes perfectly with free online interpreting resource Biddy Tarot.

Cheese subscription

If your significant other likes cheese, this prize will not fail you. The Cheese Society offer one off or a variety of subscriptions. A great way to sample unusual, handmade, artisan cheeses. Prices start from £35.

Breakfast in bed

Sometimes the simplest gestures are the most romantic. On your way home from work tonight grab some breakfast treats and squirrel them away until morning. Get up extra early and surprise your love with breakfast in bed. A great way to get you off the hook…I mean, start the day.

Amazon Prime it

If your love is the type that can only be expressed in material things it’s time to get acquainted with Amazon Prime for unlimited one-day delivery. If you’ve already taken advantage of their free 30-day trial you’re either going to have to suck up the cost of a subscription (£7.99 a month, cancel anytime) or beg a mate for the use of theirs. Make sure you place your order within the allotted time for delivery on the 14th.

Propose

Hey, why not! If you’re on board for having a commercial holiday dictate which day of the year you absolutely must show your love, you might as well go the whole hog. Your beau will be so hysterical with shock they’ll never realise you forgot.