5 signs you should give your relationship another go like Maya Jama and Stormzy
Maya Jama and Stormzy have been pictured holding hands on a recent holiday together, sparking reports that they have rekindled their relationship four years after breaking up.
Love Island host Jama, 29, and singer Stormzy, 30 were first linked in 2015 and dated until 2019 - leaving fans hoping for a reunion ever since.
"Maya Jama and Stormzy give me all the validation I need that things will always work out the way they were meant to be," one Twitter user wrote in light of the pair’s reunion.
"Stormzy and Maya Jama are on holiday together. The world is healing," another added.
Is it common to get back with an ex?
Jama and Stormzy are far from the first celebrity couple to get back together after a breakup. Just look at Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck who married last year almost two decades after they ended their first engagement.
Or on-again, off-again couples like Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor or Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth.
While it may give you hope for a reunion with your ex, psychologist and relationship advisor Barbara Santini says you shouldn’t be holding your breath just yet.
"From my years of experience, I'd say it's relatively uncommon for couples to reunite after several years apart," she explains.
"But those who do often share an undeniable bond that has survived the test of time. However, timing alone won't cut it. Both partners should be engaged in a continual process of self-discovery and improvement during their time apart for a successful reunion."
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Rebuilding trust
In order for this new relationship to work, Santini says that both partners need to "show up differently this time" and address "not just the symptoms (like poor communication) but the root causes of your issues (perhaps insecurity or emotional unavailability)".
To do this, you need to rebuild the trust in your relationship following the breakup.
"Rebuilding trust after a breakup, especially one that ended poorly, requires more than just time, it demands a seismic shift in behaviour and attitude from both parties," Santini says.
"You'll have to redefine your relationship, establishing new parameters for honesty, transparency, and mutual respect. The process may involve uncomfortable confrontations and a profound degree of vulnerability."
5 signs you should give your ex another chance
With this in mind, Santini reveals five signs you should consider rekindling with your ex, below:
1. Substantive change
In order to make a relationship with your ex work, larger changes are required - not just minor adjustments.
"Think deep, foundational changes in behaviour, attitude, or life circumstances," she says.
2. Emotional equilibrium
It can be tempting to get back with an ex if you are feeling lonely or like there is a space that needs to be filled, but this is the wrong outlook to have.
"A balanced emotional state where neither party is desperately trying to fill a void or overcome loneliness is imperative," Santini says.
This means that it is important to be comfortable and content in your life how it is before attempting to start up a relationship with an ex again.
3. Complete transparency
"Both parties should have a willingness to openly discuss what went wrong previously and how you'll both commit to avoiding past mistakes," she says.
It’s important to have this discussion - or discussions - early on, to make sure you can both start fresh.
4. Passion and stability
Santini says you can’t have one without the other, and it’s important to have a balanced blend of “emotional connection and logical alignment in life goals and values” with anyone you’re pursuing a long-term relationship with.
5. Unfinished business
"Sometimes relationships end while there is still meaningful emotional work to be done or lessons to be learned together, which can only occur if you're both in each other's lives," Santini says.
She adds that the key to a successful reunion is not nostalgia, but a "renewed commitment to personal growth and mutual evolution".
"It's not just about picking up where you left off,” she says. "It's about starting a completely new chapter, armed with the wisdom of your past failures and the excitement of future possibilities."
Watch: Stormzy and Maya Jama seen hand-in-hand in Greece