10 questions you should be able to answer about your partner, according to an expert
An expert has revealed the 10 questions you should be able to answer about your partner, with 'Do you know how your partner likes their eggs cooked?' as the number one inquiry
Others include 'How frequently would your partner ideally want to be having sex?' and 'What direction do they like the toilet paper, over or under?'
The questions can help prevent big arguments over small things and make them feel seen, advises relationship therapist Lauren Consul
Read the full article for the full list of questions and expert advice on how to overcome a lack of knowledge about your other half
A relationship expert has revealed what questions you should be able to answer about your partner, that show you're "doing something right in your relationship".
Professional relationship therapist Lauren Consul, 34, shared the all-important list covering a wide range of topics – to show you're paying attention to both the big and small things – in a TikTok video hitting 3.5 million views.
The number one question you should be able to answer is: how does your partner like their eggs cooked?
Completing the top three is what they would consider to be a big purchase and what their dream job in primary school was.
Other must-knows include how often they would like to have sex, how they want you to flirt, and what some of the biggest stresses in their life are.
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Since sharing the list of top 10 questions, Consul has been met with a mixed reaction, with some ticking them off with ease, and others struggling.
"A lot of people were able to answer a lot, but then some responses were saying they didn’t even know this about themselves!," she says.
"Others said things like: 'we argue about small things', but I always say that it's not about the topic, it's about what's underneath the argument.
"The argument is actually about ‘do you see me?', ‘do I matter?’"
So, not knowing how your partner likes their eggs won't necessarily make them upset because they can't have poached every morning (though this would help), but because they'll feel as though you don't pay attention to them.
Consul collated her questions with inspiration from her client's real-life problems.
"A lot of couples will come in and have something small that they’re fighting about – little things that create big moments," she explains.
"Some couples come in and end up saying: ‘this is my roommate’."
Hence the purpose of the list – to help people improve their relationships. Having been a therapist for more than seven years, Consul uses the phrase 'death by a thousand paper cuts' to describe those that fail.
"We continue to stay connected to somebody if we understand them in a deeper way," she says.
"If you're not paying attention to the smaller things as well, it’s like you’re not fully seeing your partner.
"We are wired to connect with people. When we don’t feel seen or heard by them it can create pain."
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For those scratching their heads not able to answer Consul's questions, she advises its important to cultivate an "environment of curiosity" and "never assume" – so if you don't know, you can learn, or even ask again.
"That’s a main tip for couples – asking questions and not assuming", she emphasises.
"We are constantly evolving and answers change, don't assume you already know."
And on what exactly to ask, of course the types of questions in her top 10 work as a useful guide, which should come up naturally.
"They don’t have to be super deep questions; you can start simple. Ask them about their day and how they’re feeling," she suggests.
"It also doesn’t have to be about the relationship.
"For some couples it is high stakes to talk about their relationship so start conversations about other things like work, the media, TV and just life in general.
"The disconnect can happen overtime but try and make sure you continue to engage with questions and don't assume."
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Consul even applies the same thinking to her own relationship, which has its ups and downs as with any.
"I have two kids, so I know how easy it is to get in the routine of life," she says.
"We spend all of our time together but there are times when we might feel disconnected so it’s important to ask each other how we're feeling.
"Make the relationship as much of a priority as you do other things."
For example, she says one of the small ways she does this is, "I’ll put notes on my phone next to my partner's number, with things that I know he likes and things that we can do.
"It’s so we can make the effort to do those little things."
Knowing key things about who you're with, whether trivial or more meaningful, will inevitably help inform you about how you can plan or do something you know they like too.
Watch: Men more open to seeking relationship advice online
The 10 questions you should be able to answer about your partner
Do you know how your partner likes their eggs cooked?
What would your partner consider to be a big purchase?
What was your partner's dream job in primary school?
If you were to arrive at a bar before your partner, what would they want you to order?
How frequently would your partner ideally want to be having sex?
What is something that they're very self-conscious about?
What direction do they like the toilet paper, over or under?
What is their biggest tell that they are stressed out?
How do they like you to flirt with them?
What are some of the biggest stresses in their life right now?
Additional reporting SWNS.
