Prince William’s ‘too white’ trainers – and how to avoid the same fate
It’s been quite the week for all things social etiquette. After podcaster and doyenne of proper manners William Hanson revealed – following a chat with Lady Anne Glenconner – a list of what’s considered shoddy etiquette, the Telegraph’s letters desk and comments section erupted with even more suggestions of the mores and invisible codes that denote one as frightfully “common”. And now the least likely commoner of all has apparently made – quite literally – a mis-step; Prince William’s latest outing shows he’s a fan of box fresh trainers.
I know, I know. All entirely silly and nonsensical, but there was chatter online and amongst the tabloids about the Prince of Wales’ glaringly white trainers, which he wore alongside jeans, a blazer and shirt for a visit to an NFL charity in London.
Hanson, who if you haven’t listened to his brilliant podcast with Jordan North, is a delightfully waspish observer on all things etiquette, once said of the Adidas Sambas, worn by Rishi Sunak, that they denote a “wannabe chav”. Luckily, Prince William is on safer territory with his anonymous white trainers, having previously worn Onitsuka Tiger versions on his more casual appearances. But it does raise questions on the politics of box fresh versus aged.
The politics of white clothing
The posh code of conduct among proper aristos has always held a firm line on this. It’s akin to family tapestries vs Heals, weathered Barbours vs shiny Hunter wellies, old Landy vs glossy 4X4. The rule is simple; the less obviously new and shiny, the better. Bright, white and gleaming is deemed dreadfully declasse. The same applies to jeans and the Love Island contingent in their spray-on white trousers.
It’s the same with the whiteness of teeth and pedicures. Thanks to Instagram, we’re faced with a barrage of glacial, shiny white grins and glossy nails posturing with glasses of fizz (likely Prosecco, another bugbear of Hanson’s). The real posh is love-worn, aged, imbued with rich patinas and just a little bit rickety. New money is glossy, starched, filtered, bright and tight.
White in clothing and accessories is socially-charged, because it desperately wants to imply a degree of exclusivity and disconnection from the real world. See the ever wild-eyed Geri Halliwell insisting she only wears white these days. Real blue bloods wouldn’t dream of such stuff and nonsense; far too many dogs, sooty hearths, lower fields and granny’s old decanter swilling with claret to grapple with on a daily basis.
But back to those trainers. Of course, it’s rather unhelpful to suggest that trainers shouldn’t be box fresh when they literally have just come out of the shoebox. Of course they’re going to be pristine, and I would wager that it’s actually good manners on some fronts to make sure that your trainers are polished and immaculate for certain occasions.
For example, certain more casual nuptials now see grooms wearing trainers – the TV presenter Joel Dommett wore a suit with T-shirt and trainers – as well as trainers in the workplace, worn with suits, being more prevalent in formal environs. For those setups, box fresh is no bad thing (although playing NFL with a bunch of mucky kits in rainy south London, as the Prince was doing, may have only served to highlight the gleaming newness of his pair).
The key is not to be too precious about it; amidst the drizzle of a damp autumn day, white trainers are going to get coated in life’s rich tapestry of surprises. Mine recently underwent a Jackson Pollock explosion of enthusiasm courtesy of a toddler wielding a ketchup smeared hot dog. What’s truly mind boggling, and more than a little grotesque, is the trend amongst certain pockets of fashion to deliberately trash and destroy clothing in a bid to lend a certain frisson. The likes of cult brand Golden Goose charge upwards of £500 for “artfully distressed”, (or deliberately destroyed) trainers and jeans. Balenciaga, forever courting controversy, released a filthy-looking pair of trainers in 2022, yours for a mere £1,200.
So it’s fair to say that too box fresh or too deliberately downtrodden are both fraught with meaning in the world of style. As for the Prince of Wales and his gleaming shoes, let’s let him off. Thanks to the glorious British weather, they won’t be quite so box fresh in a month or so.
