Polyamorous, bisexual couple say they have the 'best of both worlds' but do get jealous
A bisexual, polyamorous couple who encourage each other to have relationships with both sexes said their unusual arrangement gives them the “best of both worlds.”
Darrien Leathers, 23, and Ryan Meyers, 27, San Diego, California claim monogamy is too restrictive, and prefer instead to adopt a “sexually fluid” relationship.
Ryan, a music producer, and Darrien, a meditation guide, met on MeetMindful, a dating app for mindful people, in September last year.
Darrien admitted that at first she was looking for a girlfriend, but Ryan’s profile was the first she saw.
“I originally downloaded the app to talk to girls, but before I changed my preferences, Ryan’s face popped up,” Darrien explains.
“We met shortly after and fell in love right away.”
On their first night together Darrien told Ryan that she had just got out of a relationship with a couple and that she didn’t want to limit herself to a relationship with just one person.
“Love is limitless and we don’t have to put a lock on love,” she says.
“He told me that he was also fluid and he had an attraction to both sexes.
“We decided to be in an open relationship and that we were going to see each other and other people too.”
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After just two weeks together, Darrien moved in with Ryan and the couple tied the knot just two months after meeting in a “spiritual” ceremony in the Sequoia National Forest.
The pair now go by the names Darrien and Ryan Seqqoÿa in honour of their ceremony in the national forest.
Despite committing to each other, the couple are also keen to pursue other relationships and in July, Darrien began dating Beth Sanchez, 20, a student and hairstylist, who she had met on Tinder 18 months before.
Though Beth has a boyfriend, she is also in an open relationship.
Darrien explained that the pair formed a friendship online after messaging on Instagram.
“When we met in July, it felt like we had known each other for a long time,” she says.
“It’s been really cool to be able to nurture this feminine bond.”
And despite both being ok with dating other people Ryan admits he initially had some doubts about Darrien’s relationship with Beth.
“At first I was a little hesitant about Beth,” he says.
“She was a relationship from the past and we were growing and releasing old patterns and creating new realities for ourselves, not just following our physical desires.
“But once I met Beth I knew it was a genuine thing.”
Ryan has met Beth four times and even invited her to Darrien’s surprise birthday party at the end of July.
He says the best way to overcome feelings of jealousy is to remember the couple’s commitment to be open with their love.
“I can feel jealous but I have to remember that it’s a free and open love,” he explains.
“We want to allow each other to be the best version of ourselves.”
Speaking of their choice to live in an open relationship he adds: “A monogamous relationship can sometimes feel like I’m taking my love and shining it like a flashlight on one person.
“In a sexually fluid relationship, your love is like a sun and it radiates in all directions.”
Although Ryan says he “doesn’t have time” to date other people right now, he believes that in the future he will have his own girlfriend or boyfriend or become a “throuple” with the right people.
“I’m just going with the flow and whatever is meant to be, will be,” he says.
“It’s not something I’m pushing or forcing at all.”
Like Ryan and Darrien, Beth also believes her fluid arrangement has multiple benefits: “I get to enjoy the best of both worlds.
“I get to have someone who is so very different from my significant other,” she explains.
“Darrien has such a positive energy and a spiritual side whereas my significant other is very business-oriented and logistical.
“There are two parts of me that feel completed.
“It’s possible to love more than one person,” she adds.
“Love is something that can be spread rather than just contained to one person.”
Ryan and Darrien share their experiences as a sexually fluid couple on their Youtube channel, Growing With The Seqqoÿas.
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The Seqqoÿas aren’t the only family enjoying a polyamorous life. Earlier this month Bella Thorne revealed she is in polyamorous throuple.
The 21-year-old former Disney child star shared an intimate snapshot to Instagram of herself and a mystery woman snuggling in bed.
"She’s very cute," Thorne captioned the shot. "First girl I have dated that’s camera shy."
The post seemed to hint that her new girlfriend has joined her throuple with Italian boyfriend Benjamin Mascolo, of the Italian pop group Benji & Fede.
Thorne, who revealed earlier this year that she identifies as pansexual has been dating Mascolo since April.
Willow Smith has also spoken out about her curiosity for having an unconventional romantic relationship involving multiple people.
Speaking on Facebook series ‘Red Table Talk’, the 18-year-old daughter of Will Smith and Jada Pinkett-Smith said she had researched polyamorous relationships after coming across a couple who followed this lifestyle on Instagram.
She said she would be happy to be in a “throuple” relationship with “one man and one woman”.
Some 4.2% of the UK’s young people (aged between 16 and 24 years old) identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual, according to data from the Office of National Statistics. This is a higher proportion than any other age group.
Meanwhile, one study from healthcare company euroClinix found nearly a fifth of Brits would be open to polyamory.