Mum sparks debate about whether new dads should be able to stay over in maternity wards
![A mum has sparked a parenting debate about whether new dads should be able to stay in hospital after birth [Photo: Getty]](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/WAJKsPbk2ZOiqYOQeyGOdw--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTEyNDI7aD04Mjk-/https://media.zenfs.com/en/homerun/feed_manager_auto_publish_494/273a963836e90cbc8de78ac92c642d85)
A mum has ignited a parenting debate online about whether partners should be allowed to stay overnight in maternity wards after the birth of their baby.
Annie Ridout, took to Twitter to question why many hospitals don’t let fathers stay on the postnatal ward after their partners have given birth.
“My local hospital doesn’t allow partners to stay on postnatal ward after their baby has been born,” she wrote.
“I think this is outrageous – unfair on the mother; unfair on the father, who’s being made to feel unimportant. He needs to bond too. Do other UK hospitals have this rule?”
It’s certainly a reasonable query considering many dads and partners are keen to be involved and bonding with their new baby from birth.
But with so many hospitals sending dads home outside of visiting hours it can be difficult for them to feel like they’re doing their bit and bonding with their babies.
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My local hospital doesn’t allow partners to stay on postnatal ward after their baby has been born. I think this is outrageous – unfair on the mother; unfair on the father, who’s being made to feel unimportant. He needs to bond too. Do other UK hospitals have this rule?
— Annie Ridout (@annieridout) April 29, 2019
Many agreed that the rule made it difficult for new mums who may need additional support from their new partners and stopped families having precious time together to bond.
It’s quite common. I was in Stoke Mandeville for my first. Emergency c-section at 9pm. Husband had to find a bus home (2hrs away) baby had to go for spinal tap & it was awful. There wasn’t enough space for guests. Was given my own room on the 11th day as I went postal.
— Sarah Wolfenden (@SarahWolfenden) April 29, 2019
My local hospital allows partners but gives them nowhere to stay. After being awake for 72 hours I then had to stay awake all night on my own with him as we tried and failed to breastfeed. It was horrible and I couldn’t stop crying. I’ve never felt more alone.
— alicediggorymills (@diggorymills) May 2, 2019
I’d had an emergency c section, lost way too much blood & was attached to a catheter but yet I was expected to be the sole carer for my newborn who I couldn’t lift . Another new Mum also kept shouting at me because he wouldn’t stop crying. My partner wanted to help but couldn’t.
— alicediggorymills (@diggorymills) May 2, 2019
Husband was booted out on both nights I was there at 9pm. I was very alone without a fecking clue…
— Louisa de Lange (@paperclipgirl) April 29, 2019
Some dads weighed in on the thorny topic, giving their own views and experiences.
I’ve experienced it this week,
My son was born on 22/04 and was discharged on 01/05. I missed out on over a week of bonding with him in the evenings.
staff shortages often prevented my partner from basic care and it was awful not being allowed on there to help them both.— Corey (@CoreyBirdsall) May 2, 2019
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![Should new dads be able to stay on the maternity ward? [Photo: Getty]](https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/Ma3KFqh0__MSieOddXEISQ--/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjt3PTk2MDtoPTY0MA--/https://media.zenfs.com/en/homerun/feed_manager_auto_publish_494/b6f3ba464fdd98485a910790766be84f)
But not everyone was keen on the idea of new dads and partners being able to stay on the maternity ward, with several raising some very valid reasons as to why partners are generally sent home at the end of visiting time.
1/2 It sounds like a good thing, but after I had someone’s threatening partner staying next to me whilst bedbound, I changed my mind. You want your own partner there, but I really didn’t want anyone else’s…
— Caroline Hardman (@LittleHardman) April 29, 2019
With both my babies I was in postnatal ward rooms with 6/7 other mums – if partners had been in overnight it would have been overcrowded, noisy, and completely lacking in privacy. What would be ideal is more midwife support through the night.
— Caroline H (@CarolineJHogg) April 29, 2019
it’s a really contentious issue – the arguments against it are a) too many people on a ward makes life harder and b) it’s a very vulnerable time and for a woman sleeping on a ward to be sharing space with a man is a big ask.
— Rebecca Reid (@RebeccaCNReid) April 29, 2019
It isn’t the first time the subject has been raised. Last year a survey of new dads revealed that while two thirds felt welcome at their children’s birth, 40% said that hospitals had not allowed sufficient time for the new family to spend together after the birth.
The survey jointly undertaken by Fathers Network Scotland and the Fatherhood Institute also found that only 17% reported that their hospital had facilities for fathers to stay overnight afterwards, that’s despite 96% believing it would be helpful to new mums.
