I adopted my sister’s children after she suddenly died from cardiac arrest

A woman who adopted her sister's children after her sudden death to a cardiac arrest says she hopes she would be proud of the way she is bringing up her daughters.

Gemma Prosser, 40, a factory worker from Newport, Wales, took over caring for her nieces Rubie, 17, and Izzy, 12, after her sister Ceriann died at the age of 35 nine years ago.

Already a mum to her son, Lestyn, 19, overnight Gemma had to adapt to parenting three children and living in a much larger, busier household.

"At first it was strange," she recalls of the change. "I went from one child to three and trying to have quality time with everyone. But I can only try my best. I like to think Ceriann will be looking down and thinking how proud she is and that I’ve done a really good job."

Like many other close siblings, sisters Gemma and Ceriann had always promised to look after each other's children if anything happened to them.

"When we first had the children we always said that if anything bad happened to us we would take each other's children on, but you don't actually expect it to happen," she explains.

"I had seen her Sunday and Monday was my birthday and the phone started ringing while I was doing the washing up," says Gemma, reflecting on her sister's death. "I thought she just wanted to come over for a bacon butty like she always does but my phone rang again and it was my friend. I thought: ‘What is the urgency?’ and they said: ‘You need to come, we cannot wake Ceriann'. As soon as I heard that, I ran out of the house in my pyjamas and drove to the street where she lived. I ran into the house and there were people and paramedics there."

Recalling the scene, Gemma describes it as "unbelievable". She explains: "They were saying stuff to me, but it wasn’t sinking in. I was like: 'No, I’ve got to see her, let me go up.' Seeing her was just a total shock. I cannot even describe it. It was like an out-of-body experience."

When she finally understood her sister had died, Gemma explains how she had to overcome her emotions to tell the other family members about the loss and make sure Ceriann's children were supported as best she could.

While losing her sister was of course "a shock", Gemma says she didn’t have time to mourn as she had to immediately take over caring for the children. "Pretty much straight away nothing was about me; everything was about the kids," she explains. "I had to make sure the girls were alright and that Lestyn was alright."

"A lot of people say I didn't grieve," she adds. "But everybody grieves in their own way. I didn't have much chance as I had to get on with life for the sake of the kids."

When her sister first died Gemma says the family went to the park and released balloons and Chinese lanterns. In order to keep her memory alive, they have reminders of Ceriann around the house. "We have a picture of her on the stairs," she explains. "My older niece has a picture of her in her bedroom and I need to find one for Izzy as now she is getting older, she wants a picture in her room as well."

Gemma says the family also speak about Ceriann openly. "We never try to hide away from the fact that she’s no longer here," Gemma says. "If I have friends over we will say: 'Remember when Ceriann did this?' - she’s always in the conversation somewhere along the lines."

One of the biggest problems Gemma had to overcome when her sister died was having the girls with her at all times. While her son was able to spend time with his father that wasn't possible with her nieces. "Wherever I went or whatever I did, I had to work it around the kids or have them with me," she explains.

Another hurdle was trying to ensure everyone felt as if they were being treated fairly. "I treat them all exactly the same, but they [the girls] will say: ‘You let Lestyn get away with anything, which I don't, or 'Lestyn was allowed to go out later'.

"I tell them: ‘You would never speak to your mother like this’ - because she wouldn’t have it," she adds.

Thankfully as Gemma and her sister were so close, she says her son and her nieces were more like "siblings" growing up and that made it easier for the girls to adapt after they lost their mother.

"Rubie and Lestyn are learning to drive, sharing tips and confiding in each other," she explains.

And now that the children are getting older, Gemma says things have become more settled for everyone. "It’s not easy but you’ve got to roll with the punches and keep at it," she adds.

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