How to look after your mental health if you're spending Christmas alone
Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year, but for some it can also be the most lonely.
The festive season places a strong emphasis on spending time with family and friends, yet when the day itself comes around, many people can end up spending it alone.
In fact, recent data from Age UK found that 2.3 million older people will be spending Christmas alone and wished they had someone to spend it with, while 1.6 million said they find Christmas to be the hardest day of the year. A further 1.3 million older people said they would feel lonely this Christmas.
"There can be an expectation around the festive season that we are supposed to be surrounded by friends and family, in a whirlwind of social activities," Counselling Directory member, Amanda Macdonald, explains.
"However, this isn’t the case for everyone. In fact, sometimes, even when we are with others, feelings of loneliness can still appear."
Macdonald adds that, while many people feel lonely throughout the year, these feelings can be intensified during the Christmas period.
"We see images of happy families on TV, and people may idealise Christmases from years gone by," she adds. "The shorter days and bad weather can also add to the feelings of isolation."
How to feel less lonely at Christmas:
Macdonald says, if you already know you won’t be spending Christmas or the festive season with others, be sure to make connections with others in different ways.
"Christmas is a great time to contact people you may not have spoken to for a while, which could involve simply writing a card, a text, or giving an old friend a call," she says.
She also suggests finding out about different activities in your community, and getting out every day for some fresh air and exercise.
"Take some time to connect with how you feel," Macdonald says. "If you’re feeling lonely, then do be kind to yourself. If there are small things that you could do to bring a little bit of comfort to your Christmas, this is the time to do them."
Make a plan for Christmas Day
To combat feelings of loneliness on the day itself, Macdonald suggests making a plan so you know exactly what you’ll be doing and will have less of a chance to feel lonely.
"It doesn’t need to be doing any of the things usually associated with Christmas if you don’t want to, but instead the things that you want to do," she says.
"Plan what film to watch, or a new book to read. If it’s possible, schedule a call with friends or family.
"Make your Christmas day as comfortable as possible. Wear something that you feel happy in, whatever that is – a ball gown, or simply your favourite PJs. Remember, Christmas is just one day. The new year is around the corner, so perhaps making some plans for the year ahead could help to take the focus off the day."
How to feel less lonely all year around
While Christmas can exacerbate feelings of loneliness, according to the latest government statistics, around 6% of people in the UK – or 3 million people – feel lonely ‘often’ or ‘always’.
"If you want to feel less lonely in general, then the first step is to get a sense of what your own needs are for connection," Macdonald says.
"Everyone has a different level of how much connection they need, so knowing what is right for you will enable you to then make steps towards maintaining that in your life."
She adds that, once you have an understanding of what your needs for connection are, then you should consider this and take time to look at who you already have in your life that can offer that.
"There are also many ways to form new connections within your community, either in person or online, perhaps by taking up a new hobby, or joining an exercise class," she adds.
Who to talk to when you need help
Macdonald says there are several signs that your loneliness may have turned chronic and you might need to talk to someone about it. These include:
Becoming withdrawn from friends or family
Being more irritable or short-tempered
Noticing changes to sleep patterns
Eating more or less than usual
Finding it difficult to stop worrying
Having thoughts or plans to hurt yourself
Having thoughts or plans to end your life. This is an emergency, and you should seek immediate medical support.
"This isn’t an exhaustive list, and sometimes there might just be a sense of not really feeling like yourself," she adds.
"By making an appointment with a medical professional, you can describe how you’re feeling, and get started on the journey to getting back to being you."
If you are in need of support, you can call the Samaritans day or night, 365 days a year for free on 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org to find your nearest branch.
Mind's helpline is 0300 123 3393, their email address is info@mind.org.uk and their website is www.mind.org.uk.
If you think you may be suffering from mental health problems, you are also advised to speak to your GP.
Mental health at Christmas: Read more
The mental health benefits of saying 'no' to Christmas parties: 'Don't force yourself' (Yahoo Life UK, 7-min read)
Mental health experts share top tips for avoiding 'festive fatigue' (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)
How to declutter your way to a calmer Christmas (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)
