Ferne McCann reveals heartbreaking reason she was forced to quit reality TV after 11 years
It’s been a busy year for reality star Ferne McCann. She welcomed her second child into the world last summer and the former TOWIE regular has been juggling parenthood, her career and becoming a blended family with fiancé, Lorri Haines (who has son Noah from a previous relationship) all of which has been explored in her reality show, My Family And Me.
But as she sits down for an exclusive chat with OK! at the launch of her podcast with baby brand Mum & You, Ferne seems to be taking it all in her stride. “I’m feeling more confident as a mum this time around,” says Ferne, who is joined by her 15-month-old daughter, Finty. As we chat about her decision to step away from her reality show after six years, Ferne, 34, tears up a little. But she also says she “can’t wait” for the next chapter, which involves getting her skates on for the upcoming series of Dancing On Ice.
Here, she explains how having a child has brought her and Lorri, 33, closer – and how excited she feels about hitting the ice rink.
READ MORE:TOWIE couple expecting second child together year after shock 'split'
Hi, Ferne! You’ve decided to stop filming your reality show – how are you feeling about that decision?
Every time I talk about it, I feel emotional. This was such a big decision for me but I knew it was the right one. Sunday [Ferne’s daughter who turns seven next month] went into Year 2 and my gut, intuition and heart were saying, “Let’s press pause.” There were times when she’d get in from school and have the pressure of getting out of her uniform and ready for the show, which I didn’t want.
But it is sad. It’s like breaking up with someone – the show was one of the longest relationships of my life. It’s been a glorious chapter and I have no regrets. As a mum, you’re always second-guessing yourself, so I have to keep saying, “Trust yourself.” But I can never imagine my life without cameras. I love making TV.
How have you found being a mum-of-two?
Well, I don’t want to sound smug because, no matter how many children you have, there are always hardships, but with Sunday and Finty, there’s a six-and-a-half-year age gap so it’s not been too stressful. When Sunday’s in school, I can be fully present with Finty if I’m not working. You get more confidence when you have your second so I just feel more confident with her. Lorri and I say that Finty’s like having the first child experience because it’s our first child together.
Do you struggle to find time to yourself?
I think mum guilt never leaves you, no matter if you pop out for 10 minutes without your children or you’re going away on a weekend. But I prioritise me time and I think it’s so important – I love being a mum, but I also love having my own thing going on. I went to St Tropez this year on a “Girls and gays” trip, which was amazing. I’d not been on a holiday without my kids for such a long time and it made me realise that we need to do these things as mums.
It’s about holding on to my identity, too. When you become a mum, you do lose a bit of your identity. I remember thinking, “Oh God, am I just a mum now?” And that’s fine if so because it’s the toughest job in the world, but I want to do things for myself, too.
Has becoming parents together changed your relationship with Lorri?
It has brought us closer. When we first got together we fell in lust – it was fireworks and a whirlwind. Then we had to introduce our children and we wanted to take that slower.
I feel like Finty has cemented our family and brought us all together. Anything worth having takes time and we’ve had to figure out how we are as parents. I had a completely different experience with Sunday – I didn’t have to run decisions past anyone, but I think me and Lorri make a good team.
You’ve hosted a podcast for the brand Mum & You – how’s that going?
I am so excited to be popping my podcast hosting cherry. I’ve been a guest on lots of different podcasts and they’re always fun, but this was different to host one. I just felt super honoured that they asked. I was in my element. The difference between recording a podcast to filming a reality show is huge. I actually felt I could be more myself, more unfiltered. I was relaxed and in the conversation. I used to be a hairdresser before TOWIE , so I love a bit of small talk.
Was it helpful to talk with other mums?
Yeah, I actually had a few moments while recording where I was like, “Oh, you’ve made me think twice about that.” For example, we had one guest who felt really strongly about not posting her children on social media and I understood both sides. I think it has crossed every parent’s mind that this is a complete social experiment to be putting our kids online – we remember life without social media, but our kids won’t.
You’re doing Dancing On Ice in January. Are you feeling nervous?
No, I’m actually just excited. I’m really looking forward to it, but I might get more nervous when rehearsals start. It’s perfect timing because if I didn’t have that, I’d be thinking, “What am I going to do next?” My younger self was always hungry to do shows like Celebrity SAS and I’m A Celebrity and win them, but now I’m older, my priorities have shifted. I don’t have that desperation – I just want to have fun. Sunday is going to come and watch. It will be the first time in her life that she’ll watch me on TV. She has never watched My Family And Me – I try to protect her. Although, she has watched compilations of herself throwing tantrums on the show on Youtube, she thinks those are hilarious and can’t believe it’s herself!.
