What is ‘burning ritual’ Phillip Schofield used to let go of ‘toxic’ people?
Letting go of negative feelings from the past can be one of the hardest things to do. But a ‘burning ritual’ could be the key to moving on - as Phillip Schofield and the cast of the latest series of My Mum, Your Dad know full well.
During the final instalment of his three-part series Cast Away, Schofield - who left This Morning last year after admitting to having an affair with a younger male colleague at ITV - burned a piece of paper containing the names of people he described as "toxic" in his life.
He said: "Over the course of my 10 days [on the island] I have written down all of the things and all the people who were and are toxic in my life and so I have that now. It’s there. That’s it."
After crumpling the piece of paper and tossing it into a fire, Schofield added: "And now the toxic bank is empty. The goodness bank is full. Don’t dwell on what you’ve lost, live for what you have and be grateful for it."
In a recent episode of ITV’s My Mum, Your Dad, which is currently in its second series, the cast carried out a similar ritual in which they burned negative thoughts and worries to “leave them behind”.
For example, Clare, 53, said she was letting go of worrying about what other people think of her, while David, also 53, burned his past insecurities and vowed to be more himself.
What is a ‘burning ritual’?
‘Burning rituals’ are also often referred to as release or cleansing rituals. According to psychotherapist Tina Wright, it’s a process she often uses to help people "with unwanted thoughts and worries".
"It has some research backing as it sends strong messages to the brain that what is written is no longer needed and let go," she tells Yahoo UK. "[It] was introduced in the book Psychocybernetics by Maxwell Maltz in 1960."
How does a ‘burning ritual’ work?
The practice usually involves physically writing down negative thoughts, feelings and worries, or even the names of people representing toxic energy. This is followed by ceremoniously burning this paper, which represents the past.
Once these are down on paper, you can then burn them afterwards. Wright says it’s not the burning that makes people feel better, but the process of writing that holds the therapeutic element.
"I use it in journaling too to help people feel safe to be honest on paper. They burn what they write afterwards so no one can read it," she adds.
Why do ‘burn rituals’ have an impact?
Psychologist Ieva Kubiliute says that these rituals can have a profound impact on emotional wellbeing.
"These rituals offer a unique opportunity for individuals to engage in a physical and symbolic act of letting go, transforming abstract emotional burdens into a concrete experience," she explains. "From a psychological perspective, these rituals encourage individuals to confront their emotions directly. The physical act of burning serves as a potent metaphor for transformation, turning past pain into something that no longer holds power.
"This approach aligns with cognitive-behavioural principles, where externalising thoughts enables individuals to process and reframe their experiences. The flames not only signify destruction but also herald rebirth, symbolising the potential for a fresh start."
When carried out in a group, burning rituals can have a communal aspect that enhances feelings of connection and support, such as on My Mum, Your Dad. As participants shared their stories, they deepened their bonds with one another and were reassured that they are not alone in their struggles, Kubiliute says.
"I firmly advocate for the integration of burning rituals into therapeutic practices. They offer a dynamic way to confront unresolved emotions and invite individuals to reclaim their narratives actively," she adds. "By reinforcing resilience and promoting emotional healing, these rituals can profoundly benefit those seeking to move beyond their past and embrace a brighter future."
Read more about mental health:
Neuroscientist shares amazing 30-second trick to stop you from overthinking (Manchester Evening News, 2-min read)
How the 'right to switch off' can benefit mental health (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)
People ‘put on a brave face’ instead of talking about mental health – charities (PA Media, 3-min read)
