Maid of Honor and Sole Witness Bails on Wedding After Bride Booked Remote Airbnb, Venue with Little Warning
"[The bride] didn’t check with me if I can do it a week before Christmas financially — which I can’t,” the maid of honor said
Andrejs Zemdega/Getty
A stock photo of an upset bride from Getty.A woman who is scheduled to be the maid of honor and sole witness of her best friend’s wedding says she won’t be attending the nuptials after the bride booked an Airbnb and venue without coordinating with her.
The Redditor shared in a post on Reddit’s popular "Am I The A------" forum that her best friend, who got engaged in August and wants “to get married as soon as possible,” recently informed her that she was planning to get married a “month from now” right before Christmas in a “remote town 5 hours away.”
However, the bride also let her know that while she and her groom “already booked” their Airbnb, she would need to “find” her own. She also noted that the bride had not checked with her beforehand to see if the new wedding timeline would work, as she “legally” needs to be there “to sign” for the marriage.
“This is where I struggle: she didn’t ask me if I am available in December, didn’t check with me if I can do it a week before Christmas financially — which I can’t,” she wrote. “When we were discussing where I can stay, I was saying that everything is really expensive and that I don’t want to pay for Friday night when I arrive at 10 p.m. and just sleep.”
She further explained that to get to the wedding location, she would need to travel through two mountain passes, and she doesn’t “feel safe to go.” She also noted that she would be traveling alone as her partner has to stay behind to watch their two dogs.
“I am new to these wedding ethics and I understand that the day is about them and they can do whatever they want but shouldn’t you check with your [maid of honor]? Am I making it about myself?” The woman asked before opening up the forum.
Several people sided with the woman, including one person who said that if the couple “didn't contact” her about her availability, then she is “well within” her “rights to back out.”
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Another person agreed, "She didn't consider you or your circumstances at all. She can't really be mad when you can't, or won't, go."
A Redditor noted that the woman “said ‘yes’ to one thing” and “that's the thing you are committed to!” They added, “Your friend changed everything, without even asking you, and so your original "yes" no longer counts. Your friend also up-ended the work you did arranging the bachelorette party, which is an extra knock against her.”
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In an update, the woman shared that she changed her mind and would try to attend the wedding as she valued their friendship," saying that "if she wants me there I will be there.” She said she was willing to "swallow this one" because they "are very close" and she wanted their future children to "grow up together."
The Redditor also noted that she would “only drive on a clear day” and stay at her friend’s house to “save money” for accommodations. In another update, the woman shared that her friend eventually came to see her side.
“She understands that it’s weather dependent and appreciates me putting the effort in,” she wrote. “They also finally offered for me to stay in their Airbnb.”
