A third of Brits fantasise about sleeping with someone else during sex - most common sex thoughts revealed
During sex, it's sometimes difficult to stop your mind wandering away from the job at hand.
From being distracted by growing to-do lists, to accidentally thinking about someone else, it's actually pretty normal to have other thoughts while we're in the moment.
And, turns out, there are some common themes for our mid-session mind-wanderings, according to a new survey.
The most common thought to have while you're getting it on is about whether the sex is good or not, with 80% of people admitting to being distracted by this in the bedroom.
Read more: Kourtney Kardashian says she had sex for 90 minutes – how long should sex last for?
Less positively perhaps, two-thirds (61%) admit to concentrating on all the things they want their partner to do that they're not doing already, hinting that there might be some room for improvement.
But even if things are going well, the survey of 2,000 people by sexual wellness brand Lovehoney found that more than half of us (53%) can't help but wonder how much longer the sex is going to last.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, 53% of men also think about how to refrain from finishing too quickly, while 57% of women are focused on when they might get to orgasm.
It’s also not uncommon to be distracted by our daily lives while having sex.
Read more: Most popular sex positions: Expert explains benefits and orgasm potential of each
Almost a third (29%) of people have admitted they often think about what household chores need doing, 27% are planning their next meal, and 24% of Brits are thinking about work.
If you’ve ever felt guilty for thinking about someone else while having sex, fear not, as you’re definitely not alone.
Almost two-in-five (38%) of respondents have thought about a person other than their partner during sex, and 36% have actually spent the time fantasising about having sex with someone else.
Interestingly this differs slightly between men and women, with just 27% of women admitting they think about having sex with someone else, compared with 36% of men.
Most common things people think about during sex
How good the sex is (80%)
Things you want your partner to do that they don't already (61%)
How much longer is it going to last (53%)
How to refrain from finishing too quickly (53%)
Wanting to include sex toys (52%)
When will you get to finish (52%)
Whether the sex is better or worse than usual (51%)
A person other than your partner (38%)
Having sex with someone else (36%)
Whether the sex is better than the sex your partner has had with someone else
Read more: Best time to have sex, dinner and go to bed revealed in ideal daily schedule
How to boost your sexual satisfaction
Although mind wandering whilst getting it on doesn't necessarily mean you're not enjoying the ride (pun intended), clinical sexologist Ness Cooper has some tips for boosting your sexual satisfaction, which might help you feel more present in the moment.
“Exploring new things sexually can be helpful to learn new ways you enjoy being stimulated," she explains. "Our bodies and experiences are forever changing and this can mean that we may enjoy things we didn’t before at any point in our lives."
Cooper says newness during sex can also help some of us gain autonomy as well as authenticity.
"In the early stages of a relationship, sexual likes and dislikes can feel similar to your partner, but as you develop your relationship further you are able to express more about your individual differences." she explains.
“Sex toys can offer variations to sensations and stimulation. Particular types of sex toys can help inspire certain forms of sexual play too which may not have come to mind before.”
