Bride-to-be sparks online debate about not inviting kids to a destination wedding

The decision over whether to invite children to a wedding is a tricky one. But throw a destination wedding into the mix and it can get a whole lot thornier. When people have forked out thousands just to be at your wedding, they aren’t always best pleased if their little ones are on the NFI list.

This very subject has sparked an online debate on parenting site Mumsnet after one bride-to-be took to the message boards to ask if she was being unreasonable asking parents to leave their children with babysitters during her upcoming wedding ceremony in Mexico.

“DP and I are 100% sure we do not want children at the ceremony,” she wrote. “We’ve been to too many weddings/events where screaming/chattering babies/toddlers have disrupted and we are too scared to take the risk for our own day.”

She went on to say that she was most worried about her partner’s brother who she thinks will make the trip for the nuptials.

“WWYD? Is it totally unreasonable to ask them to put their child in the kids club for an hour or so during the ceremony?” she asked. “I’m nervous of backing down and then having a 2 year old screaming over our vows and wishing we’d stuck to our guns, but equally am aware of what a big ask it is to leave a young child in a hotel kids club.”

And people were quick to offer their opinions on the tricky topic. Some thought it was unfair to ask people to travel all that way then expect them to leave their little ones in childcare.

“There is no way I’d make my two-year-old endure a long haul flight to be ditched with strangers on the other side of the world whilst I attended your ceremony,” wrote one user.

“I don’t think there’ll be many people who will fly their kids out to Mexico for your wedding to then leave them in a holiday club while they attend your ceremony,” added another.

“I think it’s utterly unreasonable to insist on a child free wedding when people are thousands of miles away from their regular childcare. A child free wedding when you might be able to leave your kid with someone they know or with a professional of your choice is one thing but where the only choice is a hotel kids club…no,” another user wrote on the subject.

Other readers were not in favour of destination weddings overall.

“Sorry, but I think ‘destination weddings’ are just every shade of ridiculous. I can see getting married abroad with just family around, it’s elopement, really, but some big production 7000 miles away? Nah.”

But not everyone felt the original poster was being unreasonable in her request with some claiming the choice was entirely her decision.

“I don’t think you’re being unreasonable. You want Mexico and no kids, that’s your prerogative,” wrote one woman.

“My friend had a destination wedding, I left my two year old at home with family. As did my friends, all of whom had children ranging from one to four years old. There was no issue there at all, and I actually preferred the break personally, although not everyone feels like that,” one woman wrote about her own experience of a destination wedding.

“I’ve been to a wedding like this and it was lovely,” added another. “Not in Mexico, the Caribbean, but same deal – no kids at actual ceremony, but invited to reception, so the couple paid for a couple of nannies from the (very smart) hotel to play with the 5-6 young kids (including our 2) that were there, aged from about 1-6. Worked fine.”

What do you think? Would you leave your children in a kids club abroad while you went to a wedding? Let us know @YahooStyleUK

Should mums feel guilty for spending time apart from their newborns?

What’s with the epidural-shaming?