Bride angers with request for guests to pay £180 to 'secure a place' at wedding

Planning a wedding can be a tricky business, but some brides don’t always judge it right when it comes to the wedding demands they send out with their invitations.

Cases in point: first there was the bride who wanted to change some of her bridesmaids’ eye colours so they don’t ‘clash’ with the colour scheme.

Next up was the couple asked wedding guests to take a fortnight off work for their destination wedding and save almost £3,000 to attend the three-day-long nuptials.

Last month, a bride asked her wedding party to dress in a weight-based dress code with women above 160 pounds and men above 200 pounds requested to wear black or camouflage.

And then there was the bride who divided the Internet by asking her guests to answer maths questions during their wedding celebrations.

Now a woman has gone online to get people’s views on her sister in law’s request to pay £180 to secure their place at the wedding.

Posting on parenting site Netmums the woman explained that her sister in law announced that her wedding (this summer) was going to be a weekend-long affair a couple of hours away from where they live.

“Invitations recently went out and my husband and I were a little shocked to see that alongside RSVP info was bank details to pay £180 to secure our place at the wedding!” she wrote.

She understands this money will probably go towards their overnight accommodation at the venue, but feels this is a bit ‘off’ and bad etiquette. Particularly as when she got married, immediate family stayed at the venue, which she and her partner paid for.

“My MIL was shocked as she is footing a lot of the wedding bill and when SIL sounded her out in this, she asked SIL not to ask for money off immediate family in this way,” the poster continued.

She adds that the venue is a country house and is hired whole for the two days, in other words the venue and all accommodation has already been paid for by her MIL. So exactly what ‘other wedding expenses’ is her SIL asking her to pay towards?

Though the woman added that they would like to attend the wedding, she wanted to get other people’s opinions on the request.

And others were quick to step in and offer their views.

Many agreed that it was quite poor wedding etiquette.

“I think it’s rude yes. She should have at least mentioned to people first so that the bank info doesn’t come as a huge shock on the invite,” one user wrote.

“If it’s not for accommodation then I’d ask what it’s for. If it is other wedding costs then I wouldn’t pay it as it’s just rude,” another agreed.

“I think it’s incredibly bad manners,” another user commented. “It sounds like a business arrangement rather than a wedding. If I was you, I wouldn’t go, out of principle as much as anything else.”

“That is the tackiest thing I have ever heard. I mean if MIL is already footing the venue costs, how did they even land on £180? Were all the wedding costs to be paid for by them added together and divided by the number of guests?”

But others could understand the bride’s request for payment.

“If it’s to pay for your accommodation it’s not unreasonable, as the venue will want deposits at least, to secure the rooms,” one woman commented.

“Just because you would have paid for immediate family to stay, doesn’t mean they can afford it, or want to spend the budget that way.”

I don’t think it’s rude to ask people to pay the going rate for their accommodation if they’re staying in the venue, even if it’s an exclusive use type of venue,” another agreed.

“But it should be optional. We had exclusive use of a hotel and gave close family first choice of whether they wanted to stay there first. I’d never have forced them to stay there though.”

Other people advised the original poster to be careful how she responded to avoid a family row, with one suggesting she “kill this with kindness.”

“Just be a kind and loving Sister-in-Law and let her get on with organising her wedding however she sees fit,” she continued.

“Organising a wedding is incredibly stressful, as you know, and sometimes people make unwise decisions. Don’t make it any more stressful than it is. Just rise above it and let her know that you’re happy to help if she needs you. You’re going to be in each others’ life for a long time.”

It isn’t the first time a bride’s wedding demands have baffled the Internet lately. From asking guests to foot the catering bill to making friends compete for a spot in the wedding party.

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