35 Tweets About Parent-Teacher Conferences That All Parents Know To Be True
Imagine going in to meet your boss — for the first time — on the occasion of your performance review. They know a lot about you, but you have no idea how much of it is based in reality, because all of your observations and reviews have been conducted by a biased third party with ulterior motives.
This is basically the set up of a parent-teacher conference, where two anxious adults meet to discuss how well they’re performing the task of teaching a reckless and nonsensical little person how to exist in the world.
There is a lot of judgement, a lot of nerves, and — occasionally — some laughs.
Here, the wittiest parents on X (formerly Twitter) sum up the reality of parent-teacher conferences.
At school today, my 8yo wrote a story about the time I "got mad at daddy," but she says I shouldn't worry because she left out the part where I "yelled all the bad words." I can't wait to see that one at the parent teacher conference.
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) September 26, 2023
It's parent/teacher conference day. Also known as two hours of me getting the "Well, that explains a lot" look.
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) November 13, 2018
<Parent/Teacher Conference>
Teacher: What do you hope your son never loses?
My Ex: His kindness
Me: Oh my GOD his shoes - Kindness. His kindness, yeah— AsKateWouldHaveIt (@KateWouldHaveIt) April 18, 2018
Proudest moment of my 2yo parent-teacher conference today: “he really understands jokes above his level”.
— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) November 10, 2022
As a parent, have you ever gone to a parent teacher conference and felt like you didn’t get a very high score?
— Jennie Breeden (@jenniebreeden) November 9, 2023
Just had a parent teacher conference and I learned that when my kid had his first fire alarm drill he screamed “EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES” and ran out of the room 😭😭😭 i can’t LMAOOOOOO
— Nydia 🖤 (@nydiabeats) March 15, 2024
I'm counting this parent-teacher conference as a date night.
— Stephanie Wyeld (@steph_the_twit) November 15, 2018
Me: Is there anything you want to tell me before your parent teacher conference today?
8: *conducts longest monologue since school started*
Moral of the Story: You can learn a LOT of really entertaining information during pre-parent/teacher conference confessions.— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) November 3, 2021
I DID IT I GOT THE 6:15pm parent teacher conference time slot 😂🎉
— Alli Girl 💁🏼♀️ (@AlliAlliG) November 17, 2023
My Son Is Definitely Mine, Vol. ?
At today’s parent teacher conference, @VAMNit was informed that when it is my son’s turn in Storytime, he insists on accompanying music,
enlisting a friend to play drums while HE tells the story and I just...
🤣🤣🤣— Lin-Manuel Miranda (@Lin_Manuel) June 3, 2019
I LOVE parent teacher conference day.. it’s just a whole day of other people bragging about my kids for a change 😭
— MOMMA $PICE (@ItsMrsPlugg) October 7, 2024
I told Luna I have parent teacher conference tomorrow and she said “I love you mom. Everything is lies” LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO
— 11.1 🦂 (@invadert__) December 6, 2023
I had parent teacher conference today for my 3 year old.. and her teacher told me “Every day, I wonder which Charli I’m getting today, and what’s going to come out of her mouth. One time she walked up to me and said “Ms. _____, you have a big butt. I love you”
Like girlfriend!?…— Sab ❤️ (@MommaSabs) March 14, 2024
My gift to my husband is to not tweet about how he scheduled a parent teacher conference on Valentine’s Day. Wait—
— krista pacion (@kristabellerina) February 14, 2023
It’s parent-teacher conference day at daycare and apparently my kid is the one who is constantly reminding other kids to follow the rules, am I raising a cop oh no
— Jay Willis (@jaywillis.net on Bsky) (@jaywillis) March 20, 2023
The number of steps involved to sign up for a half hour parent teacher conference is absolutely sending me.
— Courtney Ellis 🎈 (@courtneyellis) October 25, 2023
My 10 month old's school is holding parent teacher conference today. Lol
— Ashley Winter MD || Urologist (@AshleyGWinter) October 20, 2023
TFW you do a parent-teacher conference and get told that while your 9 y/o is adorable and sweet, she does command a small "mean girls" troop that roams around the playground during recess and gossips.
— Bradley P. Moss (@BradMossEsq) November 6, 2023
so last night I told Junie, today I have parent teacher conference. I said, “is there anything you wanna tell me now that your teacher might tell me”….when I tell u, he sat down, crossed his legs and told on himself for 20 minutes shkkjgdsss
— ANTOINAE (@antoinae) February 9, 2023
First graders are so random. They will come up to you in class and say, “My mom likes to smell my stinky feet,” leaving you to deal with that knowledge, as you sit across from “the stinky feet mom” later that afternoon at parent/teacher conference.
— Michelle 🍎 (@michelleDbelle) November 11, 2023
Me yelling down to my wife: "Honey, should I wear the Saw, Friday the 13th, House by the Cemetery, Studio 666, or Frogman shirt to the parent/teacher conference!"
— Jeff Whitmire (@JeffWhitmire1) September 10, 2024
6yo: Mommy, I had to correct my teacher on pronunciation today.
Me: *muttering* OH, good that will be a fun conference to have.— 3 Wild Rainbows (@wildrainbow2) September 16, 2022
Parent teacher conference today. Teachers informed me that my son has not been giving 100% to his class work. When I asked him why he’s not working harder, his response: “With global warming coming, I don’t see the point, I’m not gonna need those skills for the apocalypse”
— Lynn Nottage (@Lynnbrooklyn) November 15, 2019
What’s the appropriate amount to bribe the teacher when attending your first parent teacher conference?
— John Cena (@SohnCena) January 9, 2020
I went to my 3yo's parent-teacher conference tonight, and apparently she's formed a gang with the other girls and they play a game everyday called "take our babies to McDonald's."
— Laura Marie (@lmegordon) October 26, 2022
Not sure why the school supplies list included a pack of blue painter’s tape but I do know that my question at every parent-teacher conference will be ‘so have you used that painter’s tape yet’ until the answer is yes.
— Ben Fowlkes (@benfowlkesMMA) August 26, 2024
Me: “I have to go to the 9y.o’s teacher conference tonight.”
Husband: “I’m doing bedtime? I’d rather do the conf-“
Me: “-who’s her teacher?”
H: “...bedtime it is.”— Stephanie Ortiz (@Six_Pack_Mom) January 25, 2019
Me: Your parent-teacher conference is coming up.
6-year-old: Oh.
Me: Is the anything I should know about?
6: No. I do all my bad stuff at home.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 18, 2018
I had a parent-teacher conference today and I’m glad that my son’s teacher agreed with me: we’re both convinced he can read but doesn’t want to because he enjoys being read to and thinks that’ll stop if he shows he can read solo 😅🫠
— chaos robot 🤖 (@deestiv) March 6, 2024
Parent-Teacher Conference happened.
Current status: Awaiting follow up email re: direct quote of what my 5-year-old said about me. He "wrote it down somewhere"
This is bad. Very bad.— Doc McMuffins (@Cynical_Parent) November 14, 2019
[parent teacher conference]
Me: can you stop testing my son?
Teacher: uh-what?
Me: his low grades are making me look bad.— NewDadNotes (@NewDadNotes) July 8, 2020
We had Ronan’s first parent teacher conference today and his teacher was like “he is NOT shy”
— Tasha Coryell (@tashaaaaaaa) June 14, 2024
You can tell it's their first parent teacher conference because the Mom looks like she's going to barf and the Dad looks like he's applying for a loan.
*What I assume the other parent are saying about us right now.— The Salty Mamas (@saltymamas) November 9, 2018
Be the dad you pretend to be at parent teacher conference night
— The Dad (@thedad) January 2, 2020
{Teacher Conference}
Teacher: Any questions?
Me: Given that spice is the basis for galactic civilization, why would the Padishah Emperor allow the Great Houses to squabble over Arrakis instead of administering it directly?
Teacher: Again, your child has bitten several people— Schmrrrlex (@alexlumaga) September 10, 2019