"It's Sad And Sexist But True": 17 Tips Women Learned From Other Women For Keeping Themselves Safe In The World We Live In
In a perfect world, everyone would be able to live their lives without worrying about running into danger or violence. But alas, we women, in particular, have to be especially vigilant to keep ourselves safe. Recently, I asked women of the BuzzFeed Community to share the safety tips and tricks they learned from other women, and I'm genuinely storing all of them in my brain. Here are some of the potentially life-saving advice you might just want to remember just in case:
1."Never tell anyone where you go to school. I'm a college student who takes public transport and often wears my university shirt. When people ask me if I go there, I lie and say I thrifted it. Most people asking are likely harmless, but we live in a world where it's safer to assume nefarious intent."
2."If you're a solo traveler like myself, for any reservation you make, ALWAYS put that you have two guests — especially if it's for a place you're resting up overnight. Safe travels!"
—Brittany, 36
3."Try taking a different route home every day. This is most important if you live in an area where walking or biking is the norm. Always taking the same route makes it easier for someone to track you and know where you are going to be. Change it up as much as possible. Also, if there is more than one entrance to your home, change which one you use as well. Don't always go through the front door, as it makes it easier for someone to know where to wait for you. Lastly, if you think anyone is following you, do NOT go to your own home. Go to a neighbor or a public place instead. I'd rather feel silly and do a lap around a grocery store than lead someone meaning to harm me to my home."
4."I was on a business trip with another woman. I admired a cottage rose suitcase someone had at the airport, but my colleague said, 'That screams you're a woman traveling alone.' It's been plain black and brown suitcases for me ever since."
—Anonymous
5."When you're getting into your car alone at night, lock your doors immediately, start the car, buckle in, and get going! Don't fuss with packages or receipts or get distracted by your phone — just make it a point to lock up and get moving as soon as possible. Most importantly, trust your gut. If something or someone doesn't feel right for ANY reason, get out of there. Don't worry about being weird or rude — if you have to exit a situation, lie. Listen to your instincts."
6."My mom taught me the 'dead weight' trick as a self-defense tactic. If someone attempts to pick you up or carry you, relax all of your muscles simultaneously. This will make you feel much heavier than normal — like dead weight — and will make it much more difficult for your assailant to transport you."
—Anonymous
7."Never stand directly on the corner of an intersection on the sidewalk. I always stand in the grass — as far away from the road as possible. I've had three separate occasions when a driver turned the corner really sharp, pulled his car up to the sidewalk, and a guy in the backseat would try pulling me in. ALWAYS pay attention when crossing the street at intersections. It's easy for a car to pull up and block the view from others, grab you, and drive off. I've had the scariest interactions with drivers while crossing the street. Sex trafficking is real, and it happens in broad daylight. I've lived alone for a while and have moved all over the US, and I've had a lot of scary interactions, like being stalked and followed. Please just pay attention."
8."I learned from my sister to never help someone alone. For example, if there's a kid saying they want you to help them find their mom, or if there's a man — or woman! — asking you to help them bring something to their car, don't do it. Tell them that you'll ask security or someone who works at a nearby store or whoever else. Just don't do it alone. It's sad that we have to question helping strangers nowadays, but you shouldn't be playing around with your life. It's better safe than sorry."
—Colette, 24, California
9."When checking into a hotel, the person checking you in isn't supposed to say your room number out loud. If they do, ask them to switch rooms. You don't want anyone overhearing the room you're staying in, especially if it looks like you're checking in alone."
10."NEVER tell someone you aren't from there. Yes, you are, and you've lived in that town and have for years. That way, they know not to take backstreets or do anything sketchy because they think you know the city. You are also not single. You live with your boyfriend, and he's waiting for you at whatever location you're going. Even if you're queer and dating a woman, saying 'boyfriend' is more likely to scare someone off. It's sad and sexist but true."
11."If you feel like someone may be watching you, but you're already home, go inside and loudly yell for your dad or another man's name, even if no one is there. The person watching you will assume there's a man in the house and will likely not want to deal with him. (Double standards suck.)"
12."If you're in a dark parking lot and an ATM is nearby, walk in front of it since they have cameras. Also, avoid parked vehicles in dark lots, and watch your shadow to ensure no one's behind you. Yes, all of these could make a difference later in life!"
13."Always wear a wedding ring. Potential harassers and attackers will never respect you, but most of them will respect the imaginary man you 'belong to.'"
14."If an Uber driver or whoever asks if where you're going is your home or workplace, say you're just visiting friends. And once you get into the car, call someone (or pretend to call) and say you'll get to the destination in however many minutes. That way, the driver knows that someone is expecting you."
—Anonymous
15."If you're traveling alone and you meet people, do not tell them you're traveling alone. I've rehearsed stories in my head about where my non-existent boyfriend/husband is in the event I run into people and they ask."
16."Always lock the deadbolt. I learned this one the hard way when a man entered my apartment by picking the lock. After talking to my neighbor about what happened, they showed me that it's extremely easy to open a door that hasn't been deadbolted."
—Anonymous
17.Lastly: "I was robbed at gunpoint in college, on campus, while walking from the library to my dorm. I was in a well-lit area, but I was alone. I had several follow-up meetings with campus police. The female officer I'd been working with told me that, initially, they were confused that the offender had picked out women walking on campus since there were other darker, more opportune parts of the city. The offender said that he'd choose well-patrolled and lit campuses because girls would often walk 'distracted,' thinking they were safe on campus, so their guards were down and made for easy targets. That night, I was tired and on my phone with my boyfriend, fumbling with my books. The officer told me to always walk with purpose, no matter where I was or what I was going, as alertness can be a deterrent. From then on, I have always tried to appear hyper-alert, especially when alone. I don't play on my phone, fidget, or let myself wander."
—Anonymous
Honestly, it really sucks that we women have to always be alert and think of ways to keep ourselves safe in any given situation. Nonetheless, I will be implementing all of these tips in my life! If you're a woman who learned a safety trick or safety advice from another woman, what was it? Let us know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit it using this form!
Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
