Woman Says She Won't Help Brother-in-Law Pay for Vacation After He Joked About Her Being a 'Gold Digger'
"I’ve always worked, I contribute to our household, and it’s frustrating to have that constantly dismissed like I’m just living off my husband,” she wrote
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generic photo of two people arguing about moneyA woman says she refuses to help her brother-in-law pay for his part of the family vacation after years of jokes about her being a "gold digger."
In a post on Reddit's “Am I the A------?,” a 30-year-old woman wrote that she and her husband, 32, have been married for five years and are "pretty comfortable financially."
Although the woman said that they both work, her husband does make more money than her. Still, she wrote, "we’ve always seen it as our money — we’re a team and split responsibilities equally."
But, for years, the woman wrote that her brother-in-law has been making “jokes” about her "being a gold digger."
"It’s always in front of people, and while I usually just laugh it off to avoid making things awkward, it really bothers me," she added. "I’ve always worked, I contribute to our household, and it’s frustrating to have that constantly dismissed like I’m just living off my husband."
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The woman went on to say that recently, her brother-in-law and his wife asked if the woman and her husband could "help cover their part of a family vacation because they can't afford to go on their own."
"My husband and I talked about it, and while we could help, I really don’t feel comfortable after all the times he’s disrespected me," she wrote.
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“When I said no, my BIL tried to laugh it off, saying I was overreacting and that it was all just ‘harmless jokes.’ I’m honestly over it," the woman continued. "Now he’s upset, and my in-laws are saying I’m making a big deal out of nothing, and that ‘family helps family.' "
The woman went on to say that her “husband has my back,” but now she “can’t help second-guessing myself.”
Many replies flooded in with the majority of commenters taking the woman's side.
“BIL could very easily have said something like ‘I'm sorry - you are rightly calling me out on this item as I see how my asking for money after teasing you about being a gold digger comes off very badly. I thought I was joking, but it is clear now that my comments were hurtful and were not actually funny,' " the commenter wrote."But instead he told you the jokes were harmless, likely said you were overreacting, and then got your in-laws involved. Poor choice."
“Dude's an a—---. You owe him nothing," added another.
As another commenter put it, sometimes all you can do is be direct — and if that person can't hear what you're saying, that's on them.
“When someone who mocks you for being greedy needs your financial help that is precisely the time to deny it to them and let them know why," read the reply. "If they take it badly you know that every bad instinct you had about them was correct."
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