Wedding Guest Who's 'Seen It All' Shares List of 'No-Nos' for Future Couples: 'Based on Painful Personal Experience'
"I’m sure you can all relate to at least one and have a few of your own," the guest wrote on Reddit
A seasoned wedding guest is sharing advice on what not to do when throwing a wedding — which they said is based on "painful personal experience."
In a post on Reddit's "Wedding Shaming" subreddit, titled "A List of Wedding No-Nos From a Guest Who's Seen It All," the guest began by nodding to what draws people to the forum. "We wouldn’t be on this sub if we weren’t appalled by what we’ve personally seen and experienced at weddings," they wrote. "Reading posts here reminds me of all the awful, shameful, embarrassing stuff I’ve personally been subjected to at the weddings I’ve been invited to/attended over many years."
After explaining that they felt compelled to share their hard-earned wisdom, the guest proceeded to detail their top 10 wedding don'ts. First on the list: "Do not ask a friend or relative with zero talent to sing a solo during the ceremony." They jokingly explained, "This may cause loud outbursts of laughing disguised as coughing."
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The guest also advised future brides and grooms not to use the word "dinner" on their wedding invitation unless they are "legitimately serving dinner" — "finger sandwiches piled on a table in the corner" do not count, they said.
Other tips included not inviting strangers "in order to pad attendance and for gift-grabbing purposes" and not holding the reception hours away from the ceremony site, requiring guests to deal with annoying travel logistics.
The guest also took aim at couples who schedule long photography sessions in between their ceremony and reception. "Do not make your guests wait for hours with nowhere to sit and nothing to eat or drink while you take hundreds of photos after the ceremony," they wrote.
Another of the Reddit poster's gripes? When couples design a seating chart that puts guests with strangers. "Once got stuck at a table with a group of church lady types who made faces when wine was poured and had nothing pleasant to say," they shared of a past wedding experience.
The list also included the tip that brides and grooms should not to ignore their guests. "Make a point of greeting everyone, if only briefly. Once flew across the country for a male cousin’s wedding and never got so much as a hello from either him or his wife. They never came by our table," the poster wrote.
The guest's final wedding no-no: "Do not fail to thank anyone who gives a gift. That’s just good manners."
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The post sparked a lively discussion, with many people suggesting their own additions to the list. "Don’t ask friends/family to do a service for your wedding (ie. make the cake or be caterer), and then turn into a bridezilla," one commenter wrote.
Someone else took aim at couple's expectations around gifts. "Stop viewing wedding gifts as an income stream you get to dictate. It’s fine to have a registry, but it’s tacky to give it to people who haven’t asked for it and begging for cash when you are solvent people is embarrassing," they wrote. "If you don’t want stuff, then say you don’t need anything. Most people will gift you cash instead but it’s shameful to ask for it."
Another person addressed the trend of people charging their guests. "For the love of god, don’t charge people to attend your wedding. It’s rude, tacky and disrespectful," they wrote.
There were also quite a few comments about wedding dress codes and the expectations around them.
"If you expect your guests to wear black tie, provide a black tie-level experience," someone argued, prompting another commenter to chime in: "This is a huge pet peeve of mine! I’m happy to dress up, but I expect it to be reflected in the food, amenities and experience."