No ‘nibblies’: three rules for surviving Australia’s party-snack culture
I moved from Manila to Sydney six years ago, and although Australia is a noticeably wealthy country, sharing food is not as common as it is in the Philippines. Food is not the centrepiece of social life here – alcohol is.
The proof? “Nibblies.”
Australia is where I first encountered that word. I know the verb form, “to nibble” – but I used to associate that with rabbits.
Now, I’ve learned that in informal Australian English, “nibblies” – sometimes referred to as “nibbles” – is a noun. Definition: small foods nibbled on by humans, not bunnies, served in small portions, usually placed in small bowls, and served with an oversupply of drinks.
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Common examples include: nuts, olives, crackers and dips. Used in a sentence: I filled up three large ice bins with drinks, I’ll go to the corner shop now to get us some nibblies.
That was my first real culture shock. In the Philippines, we invite people to social occasions to eat, not to nibble. Back home, a 7pm start meant guests were getting a full dinner. This nibbling business was a huge adjustment for me; a cultural learning process where I had to stop assuming that, when invited to social gatherings, I would be properly fed.
When we’d drink back home, there was always “pulutan”, an entire category of food that’s paired with alcohol. Except it’s not small food. Pulutan is anything from sizzling plates of meat to deep-fried spring rolls, garlicky corn nuts and crunchy, fatty things. Basically dinner, but no rice.
When I moved to Sydney as an adult, I had to build my social life from scratch. I went to a lot of what I call “nibbly parties”.
Used in a sentence: “I’ve been at this nibbly party for 30 minutes, why am I so drunk?”
With no food to absorb the alcohol, I have left these parties feeling so hungry and defeated that, to ensure I get home alive, I have a list of restaurants open after 9pm stuck at the back of my Opal card.
Now that I know better, I can plan my social life with my three-step checklist.
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Step one: check who is inviting. Are they Filipino?
Yes? Go to the party. You’ll definitely be fed.
No? Eat first. Unless they are from a culture of feeders as well – that means fellow Asians, Greek, Italian, Lebanese etc.
If you’re not sure your hosts are Filipino, proceed to step two.
Step two: did the host ask you for your dietaries?
If they didn’t ask, they are Filipino. You will be fed, there will be a lot to choose from, but you’ll need to check the ingredients. For the gluten free, rice is your friend, soy is your enemy. For the dairy free, coconut milk is your friend, evaporated and condensed milk are your enemies. For vegetarians and vegans: on behalf of my country, I apologise. There is an entire pre-and post-colonial history on the Filipino diet, so please don’t take it personally. Talk to your host beforehand and work out how to navigate the fish sauce and shrimp paste, and the pork bits hiding in the “salads”.
If they did ask for your dietaries, your hosts are not Filipino. Proceed to step three.
If you’re pretty sure they are Filipino and they asked for your dietaries, that means they have “assimilated” and know their way around catering for a mixed crowd. It’s a wild card – either a full buffet with dietary labels, or lots of nibblies. Smuggle in some snacks for emergency use.
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Step three: is it a professional or a personal setting?
If it’s a personal setting like a house party, hosted by a non-Filipino, attend and bring something that you’d like to eat and share with others. Just turn it into a potluck and say it’s cultural.
If it’s a professional setting, eat first (unless mini white bread sandwiches are your thing).
If it’s a professional setting and you can no longer bear another pizza: befriend the organiser, ask for the budget and number of people to be served, offer to do the corporate lunch order (whoever controls the menu controls the power). You cannot build strong team relationships through sandwiches.
Building memorable moments in our social and professional lives requires good food. Because we are how we eat, who we share it with, and what we carry in our take away containers. So, kain na tayo! Let’s eat, not nibble!
Happy Feraren is a Filipino actor, comedian and playwright based in Sydney. This is an edited extract of a story she delivered at Feast on 14 September as part of the Sydney Fringe festival
