Love Is Blind’s Ramses needs to wrap it up
Season seven of Love Is Blind is airing right now on Netflix and for the first eight episodes Ramses Prashad was firmly in the running for ‘best man’ of the group. He had all the trappings of a perfect fiancé — at least by reality TV’s low standards. I was impressed when he said he doesn’t want to enforce strict gender roles in his future home, applauded when he condemned American imperialism and war, and cheered when he advocated for Palestinians. But as a single woman, I’m used to men disappointing me — IRL and on reality TV — and Ramses burst my bubble in episode nine when he told his fiancée, Marissa, he won’t wear a condom during sex. With this week’s release of episodes 10 and 11, we saw Ramses continue to espouse retrograde ideas about sex and partnership.
I hoped Ramses would redeem himself, but not only was there no resolution to the birth control debate — it’s implied that they’re having sex, but we don’t know if Marissa is on birth control or if Ramses caved about the condoms — Ramses doubled down, probing Marissa about her lack of sex drive (never mind that she was on her period, commuting to law school, and feeling under the weather!). New level of disappointment: unlocked.
Here is a man who presents himself as a true progressive, a man who clearly acts like — and often is — an empathetic champion for minority voices. He even correctly uses the term ‘cis’, but then… loses all sense of accountability when it’s time to use a condom or respect his partner’s boundaries and physical health. Ramses even says that condoms aren’t “something guys ever have the pressure to think about”. Excuse me, what?! This man is 35 years old. If he’s never thought to take any responsibility for birth control before this moment, it’s because he has happily lived in a fantasy world where he doesn’t have to worry about getting anyone pregnant… because his partner is worrying for him.
It’s possible that Ramses will redeem himself in the final episodes dropping over the next two weeks, or maybe, as he suggested in a recent Instagram comment, he’s been wronged by the edit (I’m doubtful given that he said that he and Marissa would “clear it up”, once again putting the responsibility on her. But we can always hope). But even if Ramses does exhibit much-needed growth, this attitude is all too familiar. Men in 2024 are used to women taking charge of their own reproductive health. And while women should absolutely have the option to use any type of birth control they choose, it’s clear that some boyfriends, husbands, and FWBs still refuse to support their choices if they feel inconvenienced.
I agree with Ramses that “sex is supposed to be mutually enjoyable”. (Though the irony of him saying this and then complaining when Marissa didn’t want to have sex is not lost on me.) And I’ll admit I don’t know what condoms feel like for a person with a penis, but unless he has some kind of medical condition that prevents him from wrapping it up, I do not want to hear it. I do know that there are plenty of condoms that do not suck and insisting that sex with condoms isn’t pleasurable just perpetuates the stigma against what is still the most effective form of birth control and STI prevention.
Ramses requires the women he sleeps with to be responsible for birth control because sex with condoms is, in his words, “just not enjoyable”, but the extremely serious and uncomfortable side effects that hormonal birth control can cause often get lost in discussions about condoms and men’s pleasure. Birth control is a game changer for millions and it should be widely available. But plenty of women do experience headaches, nausea, spotting, and serious changes in mood, including depression. It is a prescription-only medication, meaning that you need access to get it, and it’s not always compatible with other medications. TL;DR: The pill, patch, ring, injection, and implant come with a lot more risks than a piece of latex, and for many women, it’s just not worth it. (Don’t even get me started on painful IUD insertion.)
Episode 11 ended with Ramses seemingly having doubts and Marissa hinted that outside forces had influenced him. I don’t know if these two will get married, but the lack of resolution to the birth control discussion paired with Ramses’ fit that Marissa wasn’t in the mood doesn’t inspire much confidence. Plus, he seems totally uninterested in planning their wedding.
To be fair, Ramses is far from the only man who expects women to be responsible for birth control. He isn’t even the only man on Love Is Blind to do so. Last season, Johnny McIntyre revealed that he and Amy Cortes were taking it slow because she wasn’t on birth control and he wasn’t ready to be a father. “I just always thought that, like, everyone was on birth control,” he said at the time. “I was so ignorant on that.” Like Ramses, Johnny had never dated a woman who wasn’t on birth control. The key difference between the two is that, unlike Ramses, Johnny was supportive of Amy’s decision and expressed willingness to learn about alternative birth control methods — even a vasectomy. He later made it clear that condoms were “always an option”, but he just didn’t think it was enough protection.
One thing that we haven’t yet heard Marissa and Ramses discuss is abortion. At the time of filming, the two lived in Washington D.C., where abortion is legal. But after the 2024 US election, all that could change. The right to abortion health care in America is under attack. If Trump is elected and enacts Project 2025, women’s access to birth control will also be at risk. Even if Marissa went on birth control now, what would Ramses do if in two years, she no longer had access? This nightmare scenario isn’t far-fetched and if Ramses is a serious progressive — as he claims — and if he really does want to marry Marissa, he should be prepared to fight for her right to use any method she chooses, now and in the future. And if not, at least he fits in on a season that includes a man who allegedly has three secret children and another who can’t allow his fiancée to take a nap.
You Might Also Like
