You be the judge: should my flatmates use separate towels and dish cloths?

The prosecution: Isioma

I have a thing about germs, and am very particular about sharing spaces, cutlery, clothes and towels. During the Covid lockdown, I actually moved back home with my family because I was so worried I would catch the virus from my flatmates. (Obviously I got it anyway.)

My flatmate Amma calls me a germaphobe. She is way more relaxed than me. It’s the same with our other flatmate, Dami. I’ve known Amma for years, and we met Dami through mutual friends. We’re all cool, but they don’t understand the way I like to do things.

For example, I don’t see why we have a shared hand towel in our bathroom. Everyone using the same wet rag? No, thank you. I carry my own personal towel in and out of the bathroom. They think that’s hilarious.

Similarly, in the kitchen I am particular about not mixing up cloths and scrubbers. I want one cloth for washing plates that hasn’t had meat on them, and another for rinsing mugs and cutlery. There should be a third just for wiping down surfaces.

We haven’t got a dishwasher and I’m always seeing bits of food on dishes that haven’t been washed properly. Amma and Dami just use any old cloth. I think: that one has been used to rinse the chicken pot, why are you dragging it over our dining table? Or: that is for scrubbing, why aren’t you scrubbing? I get told that I’m being “dramatic” and that antibacterial spray and soap will sort everything out. I disagree.

I also think we should each have separate tea towels. I don’t like the idea of drying plates and bowls with a towel we’ve all touched. It annoys me that Dami uses the tea towel to dry his hands sometimes. The cross-contamination is mad. I’ve even watched Amma dry a mug with a tea towel and then use that same tea towel to wipe a crumb from her mouth. We’re adults and we shouldn’t be living like this.

The tea towels and bath mat rarely get cleaned unless I wash them. Hygiene in a flatshare is really important and I find all this mixing up of cloths really disgusting.

The defence: Amma

Isioma is a very good flatmate. She’s always trying to improve the flat and tops up the things I forget to buy, like milk. Dami and I always pay her back and we don’t ever argue about money, but she overthinks a lot of the stuff to do with cleanliness.

Why is she having a go at us over a hand towel she doesn’t even use? Dami and I have decided between us to keep a shared hand towel in our bathroom, and we wash it as and when we need to. I don’t know why Isioma is still fussing.

Not having a shared hand towel is weird, especially when we have guests over. And I’m not carrying my own towel in and out of the bathroom every time I want to wash my hands. If Isioma wants to do that, that’s her prerogative.

I’m not that concerned over the kitchen cloths, either. When we wipe down a surface, we all spray it with antibacterial spray beforehand. That kills all the germs. After we’ve wiped it down, we then rinse it out. Separating cloths for every little thing we need to wash is unnecessary and annoying. As long as the cloth is clean, I believe it is fine to use it to wash whatever I like.

Dami and I aren’t dirty just because we don’t spend all of our time thinking about which cloth to use. The world isn’t going to collapse if one of us uses the wrong one.

Isioma says we don’t wash the cutlery properly, so, as a compromise, I think we should get a dishwasher. Small countertop ones are quite affordable. Isioma doesn’t want to contribute to one because she says when we move out there will be an argument about who gets to keep it. But we can cross that bridge if we come to it.

For now, I think that would make things a little less stressful in the kitchen. And Dami and I have said that we will take more of an interest in washing the communal tea towels, bathroom towels and the mats. Other than that, I don’t want to waste too much time worrying about it all. Life is too short to be bothered about specialty cloths.

The jury of Guardian readers

Should Amma use separate towels?

Amma and Dami use antibacterial spray on surfaces and check all towels are clean. Surely that’s enough; using special cloths for each function is unnecessary. But I agree with Isioma that the cutlery and dishes should be cleaned more thoroughly.
George, 42

Having separate cloths for meat and mugs is one thing, but carrying individual towels into the bathroom? That’s crazy. Isioma has got a germ problem. A bit of cross-contamination is good for the immune system!
Izzy, 32

It is revolting to rub a chicken-stained dish cloth across your dining table and call that cleaning. There should be colour-coded dish cloths so all flatmates know that the cloth they dry a saucepan with doesn’t end up drying the table, floor or – worse – someone’s mouth.
Kathy, 35

Isioma needs to wipe the slate clean. Her hygiene standards are ridiculously high, especially for people sharing a space – it must be exhausting for her flatmates. Amma says she and Dami are trying to be more aware of when the communal towels need washing. Isioma should cut them some slack.
Katie, 21

As my nan used to say: “cleanliness is next to Godliness,” a phrase that could have been invented by Isioma – and one I agree with. A dish cloth doesn’t become clean just because you’ve rinsed it under the tap, that’s why you need different cloths for different functions.
Paulo, 49

Now you be the judge

In our online poll, tell us: should Amma adopt Isioma’s cleaning system?

The poll closes on Thursday 21 November at 10am GMT

Last week’s result

We asked whether Ed should placate his mum by apologising to their neighbour for piling leaves in front of her house.

48% of you said Ed is guilty.
52% of you said Ed is innocent.