You be the judge: should my flatmate stop drying her underwear on our radiators?

The prosecution: Will

My mate Harriet lives with me in our shared rented flat. We’re pretty close and have been since university, when we met on our history course. We work well together as flatmates.

We moved in together two years ago but we are quite different. I’m fairly organised and private, but Harriet loves to air her dirty laundry in public – literally. We have a tiny flat with no garden and a limited number of shared spaces, and Harriet is constantly drying her clothes on the radiators. I think this is embarrassing – especially when it’s her underwear.

It’s not that I have a problem with seeing women’s underwear, I just don’t think it looks particularly inviting when we have people round. I have had girls I’ve been seeing back at the house, and they have asked, “Whose bras are these?” because Harriet will sling them over every radiator. One time she even came into my room and put her stuff on my radiator. I’d brought someone home with me, and it got awkward.

We are close mates, so it’s not that I see it as a violation, but it’s a bit much when you are having to explain your relationship with your flatmate to other women.

Winter is approaching now, so it will get worse. It’s cold, we’ve got nowhere to hang our clothes and Harriet seems to do a wash every other day. There is literally no free space for me to hang my clothes up.

I reckon Harriet’s habits are bad for our central heating bills. She put the radiators on in early October, before it was even cold, just to dry her clothes. She has a drying rack but says things don’t dry quickly enough and that it takes up space in her tiny room. Also, putting clothes over every radiator prevents the flat from fully warming up.

My solution is to go to a launderette or split the cost of a tumble dryer, but Harriet won’t hear of it. She says: “I’m not paying to dry my clothes!”

I don’t think I’m particularly uptight or unreasonable. I just don’t love seeing Harriet’s underwear all over the place. She could at least just dry that in her room. I think most people will agree with me.

The defence: Harriet

We live in a small flat and we have to dry our clothes inside. It’s not that controversial. If you don’t have a garden, you don’t have a choice.

Drying clothes on the radiator doesn’t affect its efficiency or how quickly the house heats up in the winter, and I’m not paying to go to a launderette or saving up for a tumble dryer. I don’t have the money.

I don’t see the issue with putting my underwear and other items on a radiator when there’s very little space in our flat. Will is more easily embarrassed than me, so when we have guests he’ll say: “Put all those clothes in your room. The place looks messy.”

I always oblige but honestly, I otherwise wouldn’t bother as I don’t really care what people think. Sometimes it’s our mutual friends. They have never, ever said anything about clothes drying on radiators. It’s a normal sight.

In the case of him bringing a date back, I get it. He wants the flat to look tidy and he also doesn’t want them to think that I am his girlfriend. I thought the time I dried my bras and pants in Will’s room while he had a girl over was pretty funny.

He didn’t get angry but after she left he said: “Can you tell me in advance next time you’re going to do that?” It’s fair enough. She had obviously thought it a bit weird, but I’d done a really big wash and was desperate.

The thing is, Will also hangs his clothes on our radiators, so I don’t think it’s particularly fair to ban me from doing it if he’s not also going to stop. I don’t tell him to hide his underwear, but he seems to have an aversion to looking at mine.

I could dry those items in my room to make him comfortable, but I don’t really like unfolding a big drying rack for that, as my room is really small. I do have a radiator in there, but there’s not enough space for everything. I could try to use the drying rack for my underwear, but only as long as Will does the same. And seeing as his room is bigger than mine, maybe we could put the rack in his room. That sounds like a good compromise to me.

The jury of Guardian readers

Should Harriet dry her underwear in her bedroom?

I’m #teamWill. Drying clothes around the house looks messy and definitely affects the efficiency of the central heating. And if it upsets Will, surely Harriet needs to be a bit more sensitive and compromise more?
Andrew, 34

Will is being a bit lame about this. What’s wrong with a few bras on the radiator? Is he frightened of women’s panties? Sorry boys, but we do have to wear underwear and therefore it has to be washed and hung up to dry.
Myrtle, 32

Harriet has crossed the line by putting her clothes on Will’s radiator, but if you live in a shared flat you are entitled to dry your clothes in communal areas. If Will is annoyed and embarrassed, he should consider moving out. Otherwise, he should accept Harriet’s compromise.
Mike, 57

Will is blowing this out of proportion slightly, but I do think Harriet could be more considerate. Also, she shouldn’t be doing so many washes – they’re bad for the environment and the heating bill. A compromise needs to be found here: one underwear wash a week, so the radiators aren’t constantly heaving with pants.
Alicia, 43

Why is it so hard for Will to explain to his dates that he lives with a female flatmate? It would be ridiculous to pay for a laundrette just to save Will’s blushes, and tumble-dryers are wildly expensive.
Robert, 47

Now you be the judge

In our online poll, tell us: should Harriet stop leaving her underwear hanging around?

The poll closes on Thursday 31 October at 10am GMT

Last week’s result

We asked if Polly should give more attention to her boyfriend and less to their new cat.

21% of you said Polly is guilty
79% of you said Polly is innocent