Can Invisible String Theory *seriously* help you find love?
Another day, another TikTok dating trend — but this time, it’s spiritual.
If you’re anything like us, your FYP is popping off with mushy montage videos of couples kissing, hugging, and celebrating anniversaries, with a prosaic screen caption about how the universe ‘waited until the right moment’ to bring these two people together.
Or maybe you’ve seen the clips of stunning sunsets or placid beaches, overlaid with a paragraph exploring the multiple ways that the universe might bring your soulmate into your orbit — whether it’s crossing paths at work, through mutual friends, or literally bumping into each other on the street — before you pursue a relationship with one another.
The trend powering all this talk of fate and destiny? Invisible String Theory, a concept that’s increasingly gaining traction online — in no small part thanks to Taylor Swift.
What is Invisible String Theory?
With so much chat — and tales of cinematic meet-cutes — circulating around the phrase ‘Invisible String Theory’ online, it can be hard to understand what, exactly, it refers to. In layman’s terms, it’s similar to the notion of twin flames and revolves around the idea that you and your soulmate are bound by an invisible string, one that connects you despite distances and challenges.
The term’s explosion in popularity can likely be traced back to Taylor Swift’s song “Invisible String Theory” from her 2020 album Folklore. The song — which many fans took as a reference to Swift’s relationship with ex Joe Alwyn — contains a repeated refrain about an “invisible string/ tying you to me”. Some of the key points explored in the lyrics? A reflection on the various coincidences that led to the couple’s meeting, and a contemplation of the “past mistakes” that led Swift into this partner’s arms.
The way that the term is explored on TikTok largely aligns with the discussions of love and destiny put forth by Swift. However, as Leanne Yau — a polyamory advocate, certified sex and relationships educator, and expert at Taimi — explains, the concept has a number of similarities to ideas which are prevalent in East Asian culture.
“Invisible String Theory is a theory based in fate, destiny, and determinism, one which suggests that two people are connected by an invisible string that means, no matter what, they will eventually find their way to each other,” Yau says.
“As a Chinese person, Invisible String Theory reminds me of Red String Theory, which I grew up being taught about,” they elaborate. “Red String Theory is the idea that people are tied by fate and are connected by an invisible red string which is unbreakable.”
As Yau points out, Invisible String Theory also has similarities to the Korean notion of inyun, which was explored at depth in the Oscar-nominated Past Lives, the 2023 film which follows two childhood friends as their relationship shifts and changes over multiple decades.
Inyun means ‘fate’, has roots in Buddhism, and is the idea that relationships between people can take place across multiple lifetimes. Within this belief, the closeness of two individuals’ connection in this life depends on how many times they have interacted in previous lifetimes.
How can Invisible String Theory impact your life?
Individuals who believe in Invisible String Theory might report multiple instances where they have spontaneously crossed paths with a significant other or close friend before forming a relationship with them.
Equally, they might note instances where they and a partner have gone separate ways due to a change in circumstance, only to find their way back to one another many years later. So, following the logic of Invisible String Theory means believing that your soulmate is out there and that you can trust the universe to bring you two together at the right moment.
You might even have already met your soulmate — they could be the guy you crushed on during your A-Levels, or the hot barista who used to work at your fave café — but the time and circumstance will eventually align, so that in a future meeting with this person you will be able to pursue a relationship.
Can Invisible String Theory help you find love?
For Yau, Invisible String Theory can positively impact your dating life, but — take notes! — only if you use it in a healthy way.
“I don’t think Invisible String Theory is inherently a good or a bad concept,” they say. “I think it’s a way to view the world, but if people take it the wrong way it can have negative consequences.”
Yau warns against being overzealous in applying the theory to partners and love interests, so leave any delulu fantasies at home. “The concept can be used in a negative way if someone is convinced they have an invisible string to someone else, even if they are incompatible or if the other person doesn’t consent,” they explain. “This person might end up putting an ex-partner on a pedestal or cross boundaries with a love interest, because they think that they are meant to be together.”
An important warning to heed — but what benefits can Invisible String Theory bring? “For some people, Invisible String Theory can be helpful,” Yau continues. “The idea that everything happens for a reason, and that you will find your person eventually, can help individuals to be less upset about trials they experience in dating and to take a more relaxed approach.”
According to Yau, it can also help you to more greatly appreciate your friendships and non-romantic relationships. “I really want to encourage people to expand the concept of Invisible String Theory beyond romantic relationships,” they add. “You can have so many meaningful, deep, intimate connections with people you are not in a romantic relationship with — seeing your friends in this way will deepen your connection and can help you recognise the magic that can happen within platonic connections as well.”
However, regardless of your feelings on topics like fate, destiny, or spirituality, it’s worth also taking active steps to improve your dating life where possible. “I’m not a particularly spiritual person and don’t believe you should be putting too much stock into fate and destiny,” says Yau. “I believe in autonomy and don’t think you should be afraid to create the kind of changes you want to see and to take a more active role in your dating life, doing the self-work to be a better person and partner.”
Whether or not you agree with the concept of Invisible String Theory, there’s no harm in believing that the universe has something good in store for you — after all, we’ve got to keep the faith somehow.
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