How to talk to your kids about body image
Children are being exposed to unrealistic beauty standards earlier than ever as social media becomes an ever-growing part of their lives, which means parents must step in earlier to have conversations about body image.
Young skincare influencers - known as ‘skinfluencers’ - have had a particularly significant impact on children who watch their content. Adult social media users have noted a rise in young children shopping for luxury and anti-ageing skincare products in beauty stores across the US and the UK.
Earlier this year, the British Association for Dermatologists warned that children as young as eight years old are using skincare products that are intended for adults only. The use of skincare products with potentially harmful active ingredients could leave young kids with potentially irreversible skin problems, leading dermatologists warned.
Beyond physical damage, children’s desire to use anti-ageing products at such young ages may be a sign that something else is on their minds, warns family psychotherapist Fiona Yassin.
Yassin, the founder of The Wave Clinic, says that young people - predominantly young girls - are being "bombarded with unattainable and idealised images of beauty on social media".
"The message girls hear from ads and influencers that promote anti-aging products is that their bodies are a never-ending project that they need to start working on from a young age," she explains.
"Fixating on physical appearance can impact self-esteem and body image, and fuel anxiety, depression and in some cases, eating disorders. While the beauty industry is cashing in on young peoples’ fear of anti-aging, the unattainable beauty standards they promote are contributing to the development of mental health issues among children and young people."
How do I know if my child is struggling with body image?
Children and teenagers are more susceptible to developing doubts around their body image as they are in a developmental phase of life - but this makes social media even more dangerous, Yassin says.
"The proliferation of airbrushed photos, advertisements featuring idealised beauty and body types, and social media influencers, has led to an increased dissatisfaction among young people who cannot meet these unachievable standards," she explains.
"Constant comparison to other people on social media can foster feelings of inadequacy, a pressure to conform and an unhealthy obsession with appearance."
There are some early warning signs that a child may be struggling with their body image and mental health. Yassin advises parents to look out for:
If your child has become preoccupied with body shape, size and appearance
If your child is obsessing about the size of clothes
If your child is spending a lot of time looking at influencers with particular body shapes and sizes
If your child is using scales to weigh food
If your child is making comparisons between themselves and their siblings
If you see any signs that indicate your child may be struggling, it’s important to seek help from a medical professional. Early intervention in children’s mental health can help prevent long-term consequences.
How do I talk to my children about body image?
Understanding the importance of talking to your kids about body image is one thing - having the actual conversation is another.
But despite it being a tricky topic, there are ways you can go about it in a positive and supportive way. Yassin provides her top tips for parents to discuss body image:
Steer clear of commenting on a child’s appearance
It’s really important to avoid giving compliments to children that are only based on appearance, such as ‘Your body looks great in that outfit’, or, ‘You look really slim in that dress’. Continually reinforcing these messages may make the child feel that they are only valued for their appearance. Plus, these messages may lead the child to feel they are conditionally loved.
Instead, pay compliments to their creativity, character traits and imagination.
Avoid using stereotypical and gendered views
When we talk to children and young people about topics relating to external appearances - such as skincare, makeup, clothes, piercings - it’s important to avoid using stereotypical and gendered views, such as: ‘Girls are pretty and beautiful’ and ‘Boys are strong and handsome’.
Imposing rigid ideas of femininity and masculinity on children can be harmful to a child’s development and mental health. Gender stereotypes tend to encourage boys not to express their emotions, and girls to worry about their appearance.
Do not talk about dieting in front of children
Parents should be careful with how they speak about food and dieting around children. Children understand messages you share with them as a whole, so when a parent says, ‘We’ve eaten quite a lot today and haven’t done any exercise’, what the child hears is, ‘I am not worthy of eating without exercising’. This type of language can be damaging for children and young people and should be avoided at all costs.
Do not shut down your child’s worries
A child might say to a parent that they feel unattractive, or they might compare themselves to social media posts. Do not shut down or minimise their concerns. Quite often when someone says they feel unattractive on the outside and they don’t fit into social media’s viewpoint, it’s usually because there is something going on on the inside. If this happens, it’s critical to take an active listening stance - find out what they are feeling, where their sadness is, why they feel they aren’t fitting in and why they are feeling different.
Reflect on the behaviours you’re modelling for your child
From a very early age, children like to copy what they see their parents and older siblings do. For children in particular, the way they view body image and body-related things such as skincare, make-up and fitness, to a large extent will be similar to the way their family unit views it.
Ask yourself - are we modelling things our children are holding onto? Helping children starts by looking at what the more senior members of the family are doing. It’s also important for parents to be careful with how they talk about the appearance of others.
Read more about parenting:
Parenting expert shares number one thing that destroys kids’ confidence (GoodToKnow, 3-min read)
8 signs your child might be struggling with their mental health (Yahoo Life UK, 6-min read)
Over-parenting teaches children to be entitled – let them fail and learn to be resilient instead (The Conversation, 4-min read)
