My fiancée denied having an affair, then ran off with her personal trainer
Dom*, 33, had been with his girlfriend for five years when he started to suspect she was having an affair, but she denied everything at first...
Lucy* and I had it all – great jobs, a beautiful flat, plenty of holidays, lots of friends and exciting plans to marry. That is, until she had an affair with her personal trainer and turned my life upside down. Those five blissful years together now feel like a lie – I can't believe I wasted half a decade on her.
We met on the first day of our university course back in 2011. We were 20 and both studying events management in Leeds. Bonded by our shared love of music and festivals, we got on like a house on fire.
After three years together, we left uni and got engaged while on holiday in Malta. It was the first country we'd visited as a couple, so it seemed like the perfect place to pop the question.
Growing suspicion
When we got back, we both landed our first jobs in the music industry – me as a freelance stage manager for festivals while Lucy worked at a large music venue in Leeds. We also moved into our own flat after years of separate house shares. I felt excited about the future.
We hadn’t slept together in a while and I’d heard from friends who went to the same gym that Lucy had hired a personal trainer.
But, after 18 months living together, Lucy began acting distant. She'd recently started going to the gym regularly and at first, I thought she was stressed by the pressure of her job and that the gym was just her 'release'.
It wasn’t long until I started to get suspicious again. We hadn’t slept together in a while and I’d heard from friends who went to the same gym that Lucy had hired a personal trainer. They said she’d been spending a lot of time with this man, both in and out of the gym.
Gaslighting me
As much as I hated the thought, I got the feeling she was having an affair with him. I hadn’t done anything wrong, so I couldn’t understand why she'd suddenly changed or what had shifted in our relationship.
Finally, one night after she got home from a spin class, I decided to confront her to see if my suspicions were right.
Finally, one night after she got home from a spin class, I decided to confront her to see if my suspicions were right. When I mentioned my fear that she was being unfaithful, she kicked off, convincing me that I was the one in the wrong. She acted insulted that I could even suggest such an idea.
"I can’t believe you’d say that," she said indignantly. "How could you not trust me?"
The final kick in the teeth was that I’d "really hurt" her. She seemed genuinely upset. I then felt guilty for even considering she could do this to me. I decided it was all my fault for 'overthinking' things.
The bitter truth
Sadly, it turned out I'd been right the whole time. Four months later, I received proof she’d been cheating. My friend from the same gym went on a night out with Lucy and a few others. Everyone had had a few drinks and my friend caught her kissing this man in a dark corner of the bar. He took a photo of them cosying up together and sent it to me, with a heartfelt message.
She admitted she’d been cheating on me for the last year of our relationship.
Even though it confirmed everything I’d suspected, it was horrible to see her with someone else. I felt sick inside. We'd been engaged, now everything was over.
The next morning I didn’t say anything, but she knew that I knew. She sat me down and ended our relationship, saying we'd "grown apart". She then admitted she’d been cheating on me for the last year of our relationship.
Splitting up
After we broke up, her dad rang me to see if I was OK. We'd always got on very well, so he was gutted when he found out what she'd done. In fact, he was so devastated that he wouldn’t let Lucy move back into the family home after we split. She ended up moving in with her new boyfriend and I recently found out, through mutual friends, that they now have a child together.
Five years on, time has healed me, but I still can't believe she let me feel guilty when she was the one in the wrong.
Five years on, time has healed me, but I still can't believe she let me feel guilty when she was the one in the wrong. Thankfully though, I'm now in a much better place.
I’ve been in a serious, committed and healthy relationship for the past four years, and I couldn’t be happier. My partner and I have total respect for each other, and most importantly, there’s complete trust.
*Names have been changed to protect identities.
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