9 women on how having a baby actually helped their careers
There are plenty of incredibly valid and needed conversations taking place right now with regards to juggling parenting and work – see Kemi Badenoch's recent comments that maternity pay is 'excessive' (and the backlash that ensued) and the newly publicised Employment Rights Bill as just two examples.
Many mothers in particular are opening up about how difficult it is to be a working parent (erm, tell us: how do you stretch 25 days of annual leave to cover 13 weeks of school holidays?), sharing their experiences and stories in order to push for urgently required change. But while it's deeply important we talk about the challenges that parents can face in the workplace (the gender pay gap is also inextricably linked to motherhood), sometimes it's nice to hear about the positives too.
The following 9 women are all keen to share how becoming a mother actually helped with their work lives, be it through enabling them to develop new skills (hello, the ability to multi-task on steroids) or even by inspiring them to charter a new path entirely.
P.S. Hopefully the below stories will serve as helpful and inspiring, but remember: if you feel like parenting while working is nigh on impossible, that's no admission of failure on your part. It's bloody difficult and it takes a village, along with an understanding employer, which sadly not everyone has access to. Support services, like the charity Working Families and Pregnant Then Screwed, are available to offer you guidance and a listening ear, as well as practical resources.
"Children gave me the balance I never knew I needed"
Becoming a mother gave me the balance I never knew I needed. I've always over-worked and seen it as part of who I am, but children need your time. They gobble it up and want more and more and it's addictive because you want that time too, so you become the most efficient person you can be in response.
Before I had kids, the idea of not returning full-time was utter madness, but after I had my daughter my whole mindset changed – I decided three days per week was the max I could do to start with, and then I've built things back up to full-time as my children have gotten older. I truly believe that having kids is the beginning not the end of your career. Sure things might change, sometimes because you want them to and at others because you need them to, but these changes can be on your terms.
Celia Venables, PR and social media consultant at Shouty Bear
"I became determined not to settle"
I was a springy 19 year old when my daughter was born – and everyone said I'd ruined my life. But in reality, she gave me a reason to work hard. Before her, I was barely doing my university work. I had no drive. Determined to give my daughter a good life, I initially worked as a part-time cleaner and then as she got older, I became a probation officer.
Later on, I opened my own wedding business for additional income and now, I have a business coaching healthy relationships and sex. My daughter is now 15 and her brother is 10 and I can honestly say that I forged myself a strong career path in order to make both of their lives great. Without them, I wouldn't have had the push to keep going and likely would have settled for a lesser paid job.
Sam Morris, a sex and relationship coach
"I've learnt patience and perspective"
I was 29 when I had my first child and I was determined to make my career work around family life. Luckily, as a personal trainer, I could make that happen – as long as I got my children into a routine and we all stuck to it. Working is important to me, but also I wanted to ensure I could personally raise my kids, alongside them having nursery days for social interaction. Becoming a mother has also given me more perspective on what's important, along with patience. My children are my reason but they are not my excuse, and nor are they a barrier. It's important for them to see me work and for them to realise that sometimes they need to be patient, as do I.
Sarah Campus, PT and founder of LDN Mum's Fitness
"I wanted to prove being disabled doesn't have to hold you back"
If not for my daughter, I may have been on benefits after my medical retirement at 32 (following major surgery due to a disability my employe couldn't accommodate). Instead, I built a successful e-commerce business and am now a DEI Events & Business Accessibility Strategist. I wanted to provide my daughter with a strong role model and show that just because I am a mum and disabled, it doesn't have to stop me from following my career path and dreams.
Elaine Hughes, a DEI Events & Business Accessibility Strategist
"You can't teach the values and psychometrics motherhood brings"
I was 26 when I welcomed my first child. I didn't have any worries about motherhood impacting my career; I was just happy to be pregnant after a loss. Sadly, some Stone Age men (and women) do suddenly view women as incompetent when they have caring responsibilities. Where's the logic in that?
Since becoming a mum, I know firsthand the qualities and skillsets we bring to the table – namely, a next-level ability to multitask. Before, I was a busy city girl and you'd never catch me doing anything 'homely' – now I can singlehandedly look after my entire family, cook, clean, organise appointments and holidays, teach, do extra circular activities, bake, iron, research the best places to visit, do paperwork, budget and more, all while running a business and not forgetting to eat myself! There are many appealing technical skills out there, but I don't think you can teach people the values and psychometrics that motherhood brings. My integrity has also deepened; I'm not a millionaire but I've turned down clients whose values don't match my own since becoming a mum.
Tina Rahman, employment law professional and Founder of HR Habitat
"I'm calmer in the face of work challenges"
Motherhood has shifted my priorities and made me worry less. It puts everything into perspective; as long as everyone is safe and healthy, any work-related challenge can be resolved. This mindset is something I try to instil in my team as well – it's a powerful reminder that no problem is insurmountable when you keep the bigger picture in mind.
If you're working for someone else, my advice is to have an open and honest conversation with your boss about what you need to make your return to work successful. It's crucial to find a workplace that genuinely supports working parents, not just one that ticks the box. Don't be afraid to advocate for the support you need to balance your career and your family life. You can make it work, and you shouldn't have to sacrifice one for the other.
Megan Dorian, Founder of Orange PR and Marketing
"Maternity leave unlocked my experimental side"
Motherhood helped my career in unexpected ways. It gave me time away from my full-time job as a bookkeeper to unlock my creativity and experiment. If I hadn't have had that time and space, I never would've considered starting my onw brand. While my babies slept, I was always trying to learn something new. I taught myself to build a website, create custom items and develop packaging. As the kids got older, they sometimes even helped!
Of course, there are challenges to balancing parenting and work success. It's hard and it involves long hours, but it's all about prioritising who needs you the most at any given time – I never miss my children's plays or sports days. To other women worried that becoming a mum will end their career, I'd say this: with the right support and drive, anything can be done. I've struggled with my mental health, mostly from feeling so overwhelmed with everything I had going on, so I now break things down into small sections. I have lots of lists and I've gotten better at organising my priorities and asking for help, something I never used to do.
Lucy Pearce, Director of House of Amor
"I can tap into my emotions more easily"
I'm a jewellery designer and business owner. One unexpected upside of being a working mother is that having children has enriched my design process; I've become more emotional and sentimental which adds to the authenticity of our pieces. Motherhood has given me a new sense of focus and purpose too. When the going gets tough – which it so often does – my children put things in perspective. It's also helped me to build a supportive, female-led brand with flexibility build in for everyone, something I know makes a difference to the lives of my team and contributes to a happy, successful working culture.
Rachel Jackson, CEO and Creative Director of Rachel Jackson London
"Becoming a mum opened up new avenues"
Becoming a mum at 23 led me to become a family page editor on a large regional broadsheet; I wouldn't have had that opportunity without that lived experience and credibility. Continuing on, I then worked with many clients in the family space, for example moderating conferences on breastfeeding, and even launched Mamavents in Dubai – a series of events for women and children, built around what I knew other families needed.
Whilst I no longer specialise in the family sector as my children are older, having them afforded me so many opportunities I wouldn't have otherwise had. But even if motherhood itself doesn't contribute directly to your day-to-day at work, you can bet that it'll give you the impetus to keep going and striving – as a provider and a role model. Your kids tend to become your 'why' and your motivation.
Kellie Whitehead, PR specialist
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