The most bizarre movie title translations

What the heck is His Powerful Device Makes Him Famous?

Fargo 1996 Real  Joel Coen et Ethan Coen Steve Buscemi. COLLECTION CHRISTOPHEL © PolyGram Filmed Entertainment / Working Title Films
Steve Buscemi in the Coen brothers' 1996 cult classic Fargo. (PolyGram Filmed Entertainment)

The art of translating movie titles is yet to be mastered in all corners of the globe it seems, with English-language releases proving impossible to nail down into something concise, coherent and digestible.

Whether it's Chinese marketers spoiling a classic M. Night Shyamalan twist in one fell swoop; the French trying to explain The Matrix at its most basic — behold The Young People Who Traverse Dimensions While Wearing Sunglasses — or Spain comparing Vin Diesel to a "super-tough kangaroo" in family comedy The Pacifier, titles are far less nuanced (and often utterly bizarre) when put into unnatural hands.

Here are the 10 stupidest translations.

KATHERINE HEIGL, LESLIE MANN, SETH ROGEN, PAUL RUDD, KNOCKED UP, 2007
Katherine Heigl, Leslie Mann, Seth Rogen and Paul in 2007 comedy Knocked Up. (Universal Pictures)

Although Judd Apatow's 2007 comedy Knocked Up opts for a derogatory distillation of its concept — Seth Rogen's Ben and Katherine Heigl's Alison conceive a child during a one night stand — China's infantilising translation One Night Big Belly removes any grain of humour.

USA. Haley Joel Osment in a scene from the (C)Buena Vista Pictures film: The Sixth Sense (1999). Plot: A frightened, withdrawn Philadelphia boy who communicates with spirits seeks the help of a disheartened child psychologist.  Ref: LMK110-J8520-031122 Supplied by LMKMEDIA. Editorial Only. Landmark Media is not the copyright owner of these Film or TV stills but provides a service only for recognised Media outlets. pictures@lmkmedia.com
The Sixth Sense made a child sensation out of Haley Joel Osment. (Buena Vista Pictures)

Trap director Shyamalan first began stretching his now-lampooned twist-ending muscles with 1999's The Sixth Sense, in which Dr. Malcolm Crowe (Bruce Willis) spends the whole movie psycho-analysing Cole Sear (Haley Joel Osment) only to realise he's one of the kid's undead visions.

That's two in two for China, which cut straight to the point with its He's a Ghost! title.

USA. Robert Shaw in the (C)Universal Pictures movie: Jaws (1975).  Plot: When a killer shark unleashes chaos on a beach community off Cape Cod, it's up to a local sheriff, a marine biologist, and an old seafarer to hunt the beast down.  Ref:  LMK110-J8880-220323 Supplied by LMKMEDIA. Editorial Only. Landmark Media is not the copyright owner of these Film or TV stills but provides a service only for recognised Media outlets. pictures@lmkmedia.com
Steven Spielberg's man-eating great white shark. (Universal Pictures)

Adapted from Peter Benchley's novel of the same name, Jaws was Steven Spielberg's ticket to Hollywood superstardom, but you could argue that the French sold it a little more poetically.

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The Teeth from the Sea pulls us into an era of whacky monster movies, like Creature from the Black Lagoon or The Thing from Another World, although Jaws couldn't be further from those horrors. To be a fly on the wall in Monaco's cinemas when the great white eats young Alex Kintner.

USA. Johnny Depp in a scene from (C)Warner Bros film: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) .  Plot: A  young boy wins a tour through the most magnificent chocolate factory in the world, led by the world's most unusual candy maker - Willy Wonka. Ref: LMK106-J10147-230823 Supplied by LMKMEDIA. Editorial Only. Landmark Media is not the copyright owner of these Film or TV stills but provides a service only for recognised Media outlets. pictures@lmkmedia.com
Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka. (Warner Bros.)

Tim Burton's un-loved interpretation of Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory received a rather impersonal refresh over in Denmark.

The Boy Who Drowned in Chocolate Sauce does acknowledge the delicious confectionary, yet there's an inaccurate suggestion of actual death in there.

ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND, JIM CARREY, KATE WINSLET, 2004
Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet in a cult classic. (Focus Features)

The title of Michel Gondry's topsy-turvy sci-fi masterpiece, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, originates from Alexander Pope's 1717 poem Eloisa to Abelard.

However, the movie's Italian distributors demonstrated no interest in that at all; plucking out a rather brutalist translation for their audiences that attempts to at least allude to its bleak storyline.

Burt Reynolds & Mark Wahlberg Film: Boogie Nights (USA 1997) Characters: Jack Horner & Eddie Adams - Dirk Diggler  Director: Paul Thomas Anderson 11 September 1997   **WARNING** This Photograph is for editorial use only and is the copyright of NEW LINE CINEMA and/or the Photographer assigned by the Film or Production Company and can only be reproduced by publications in conjunction with the promotion of the above Film. A Mandatory Credit To NEW LINE CINEMA is required. The Photographer should also be credited when known. No commercial use can be granted without written authority from the Film
Burt Reynolds directing Mark Wahlberg's fledgling pornstar. (New Line Cinema)

Another bizarre depiction from the shores of China is Paul Thomas Anderson's His Powerful Device Makes Him Famous.

This is of course Boogie Nights — a considered classic in the West — and follows Mark Wahlberg's fledgling pornstar Dirk Diggler, whose considerable manhood really does attract the spotlight.

Natalie Portman and Jean Reno  in a scene from the (C)Gaumont Buena Vista movie: Leon (1994).  Plot: 12-year-old Mathilda is reluctantly taken in by Léon, a professional assassin, after her family is murdered. An unusual relationship forms as she becomes his protégée and learns the assassin's trade.  Ref: LMK110-J8893-310323 Supplied by LMKMEDIA. Editorial Only. Landmark Media is not the copyright owner of these Film or TV stills but provides a service only for recognised Media outlets. pictures@lmkmedia.com
A young Natalie Portman eyes her target. (Gaumont Buena Vista)

Natalie Portman crushes it as 12-year-old Mathilda in Luc Besson's Léon: The Professional; after her family is wiped out, she's taken in by Jean Reno's killer-for-hire and melts his defences.

And so, in China, it's a case of This Hit Man Is Not as Cold as He Thought.

THE PARENT TRAP, Lindsay Lohan (pictured twice), 1998. (c)Buena Vista Pictures/courtesy Everett Collection
Two Lindsay Lohans for the price of one. (Buena Vista Pictures)

1998's remake of 1961's The Parent Trap, which is directed by the great Nancy Meyers and stars Lindsay Lohan in a dual role, was given the Raymond Chandler treatment over in Germany.

A Twin Seldom Comes Alone loses that playful Disney innocence plastered all over Lohan's face and comes out sounding more like a detective mystery, don't you think?

Nov 06, 1998; Orlando, FL, USA; ADAM SANDLER stars as Bobby Boucher in the comedy 'The Waterboy' directed by Frank Coraci.
It's Bobby Boucher! (Buena Vista Pictures)

We think the Thai translators were a little bit harsh on The Waterboy here. Adam Sandler's dimwit does indeed surge forth in the sports comedy - by becoming a hilariously effective American football player - but mama's boy Bobby Boucher is just too damn pure for this world. He deserved better.

Frances Mcdormand Film: Fargo (USA/UK 1996) Characters: Police Chief Marge Gunderson  Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen (Uncred) 08 March 1996   **WARNING** This Photograph is for editorial use only and is the copyright of POLYGRAM and/or the Photographer assigned by the Film or Production Company and can only be reproduced by publications in conjunction with the promotion of the above Film. A Mandatory Credit To POLYGRAM is required. The Photographer should also be credited when known. No commercial use can be granted without written authority from the Film Company.
Frances McDormand in Fargo. (PolyGram Filmed Entertainment)

China absolutely knocked it out of the park with the Coen brothers' cult classic crime thriller Fargo.

The only semblance of connection Mysterious Murder in Snowy Cream has to this 'true story' is the death-splashed snow of Minnesota, which becomes the prime focus of Frances McDormand's police chief Marge Gunderson.