Marvel 'fan' has made a 'defeminised' version of 'Avengers: Endgame'
If you thought that Avengers: Endgame was too brutally feminist for your fragile tastes, there's a new version that could be just for you.
According to NPR, a Marvel 'fan' has re-edited the whole thing removing Captain Marvel, Valkyrie, men hugging and Spider-Man being saved by female characters.
Read more: Marvel fan has seen Endgame 110 times
The resulting film has now been posted on an illegal streaming site, with the depressing title 'Avengers Endgame De-Feminized fanedit aka Anti-Cheese-Cut aka Straight White Male edition'.
Its brief synopsis is now 'Endgame, but shorter, no feminism, no gay sh*t, less boring filler, less sniffing its own farts, no constant quips, and other small changes'.
Other perceived improvements include 'absolutely no Brie Larson, neither in the beginning nor the finale', 'Tony doesn’t ask his wife’s permission to save the universe', 'a more consistent serious tone', and the removal of Hawkeye teaching his daughter how to fire a bow.
Read more: Endgame almost featured first MCU f-bomb
This is because 'young women should learn skills to become good wives and mothers'.
Black Panther is also removed because 'he's really not that important', while 'women in final battle severely reduced'.
The new cut, coming to no cinemas soon, is around one hour and 25 minutes, but to be fair, the original was a shade long at three-plus hours.
A similarly chauvinistic – and incomprehensible, according to one academic who watched it – cut of Return of the Jedi did the rounds in 2017, making this, tragically, not a new phenomenon.