Brutal critics call Borderlands 'joyless' and a 'total disaster'

Video game fans, you have our sympathy. The wait for Gearbox's delirious, colourful Borderlands franchise to arrive on the big screen has been a long one but, based on the first tranche of critical reviews, the result for this video game adaptation is pretty darn terrible.

The initial response to the film has been almost universally negative, despite the presence of huge stars such as Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Jack Black in the cast. That's not to mention the fact Borderlands is one of the bestselling first-person shooter games in history.

But there's very little love out there thus far for Eli Roth's take on the material, which arrives almost a decade after Lionsgate officially announced a film was on the way. It has since cycled through many writers, including Craig Mazin — who transformed The Last of Us so brilliantly from game to screen — and Euphoria's Sam Levinson, as well as Roth and credited co-writer Joe Crombie.

According to Clarisse Loughrey, writing in The Independent, the film is a "total disaster". She wrote that Borderlands has "dragged us back to a time when studios used to make [video game adaptations] with all the grace and acuity of a drunk person attempting to place a 3am chicken nugget order".

Loughrey added: "The film’s sacrilegious treatment of place and character will likely send its fans into a white-hot rage, while it remains simultaneously impenetrable and incomprehensible to the casual viewer."

David Rooney's review in The Hollywood Reporter wasn't much kinder. He called Borderlands "joylessly gonzo" in its big screen form before explaining that he was baffled to see such a talented cast assembled for a movie this poor.

"Humour hasn’t generally been director Eli Roth’s strong suit, but neither is the constant bang-kapow of gunfire, explosions and violence in this stale and stubbornly unexciting sci-fi action comedy," he wrote.

Alison Foreman also delivered a savage take on Borderlands for IndieWire, writing that Roth has delivered a "mammoth misfire" after his return to his blood-soaked roots in 2023 slasher movie Thanksgiving. Foreman did find room to praise Cate Blanchett for her commitment and effortless cool, though, in amongst everything wrong.

She added: "The choice to push for a PG-13 rating here was a mistake, one that not only betrays the gleefully perverse and graphic games but makes the end product just a bit too mature for the kid-kids who might actually enjoy its shallow story."

Read more: Cate Blanchett talks new movie 'Borderlands': 'It's not Citizen Kane!' (USA Today)

Peter Debruge of Variety was marginally more positive, with the headline of his review at least calling the movie "middling". In context, that's very nearly a compliment. Even he concludes, though, that "by the time Borderlands unlocks its vault, not even the characters seem to care what’s inside".

The closest thing to a positive assessment came over at ScreenRant, where Tatiana Hullender scored the film 3.3 out of five. She wrote: "Borderlands rushes through too many plot points for its own good, but it's saved by its supremely likeable cast and willingness to lean into video game moments."

The fact that a three-star review with heavy caveats is about as positive as it's possible to find is a withering assessment of Borderlands' quality. It's rare for the consensus around a blockbuster to be this universally negative.

Read more: Eli Roth hopes Borderlands launches a movie franchise (BANG Showbiz)

Obviously, its audiences of video game devotees who will be the real barometer for whether Borderlands works on the big screen or not. But if the critical noise is anything to go by, this is a return to the bad old days of the "video game movie curse".

Borderlands is in UK cinemas now.