Hurry, Rangers Fans, Hurry! We need you to put out a pair of "fires."

One blaze was started by interlocutor Paul "Spittin' Chiclets" Bissonnette, who is yelling a warning to Chris Drury that he'd better sign Igor Shesterkin right this minute, or tomorrow. At worst, the day after that. Or else!

The other inferno comes via the New York Post's veteran hockey guru Larry Brooks who declared that the Rangers "are playing with fire" in terms of shoddy defensive play.

Since The Maven loves a good hockey blaze story, I've got my equipment ready and willing to douse the flames. First we start with Bissonnete's bombshell.

Prickly Paul is telling Drury that if he doesn't get a contract worked out with his super-duper goaltender in a hurry – make that a BIG HURRY – Iggy and his agent will take it as a personal affront.

More than that, the goalkeeper who desperately wants to be the highest-paid Ranger just might take his goalie stick and go elsewhere. (Don't ask me where, or when, but presumably after the season.)

Bissonnette's s.o.s. was more like an S.O.S. Or – in burning terms – a five-alarm fire. And the only way MSG can extinguish it, is by bowing to Iggy's excessive terms or – as Biz warns – next June, Iggy's tune could be "Give My Regards To Broadway."

I believe that The B Man is getting through to the Rangers high command and the white flag of surrender – surrounded by greenbacks – will flow over Seventh Avenue very soon. He becomes Shesterkin Bank.

Biz knows and Biz has clout on top of his clout. (A certain short-termed Columbus coach could vouch for that.)

As for the other blaze, when columnist Brooks warns that the "Rangers are playing with fire," he's talking about shoddy defense – forwards included – that should be tightened up. (After all, a leaky defense could deprive Shesty of another Vezina Trophy and we wouldn't want that to happen, would we?)

Not to worry. The Rangers have the best balanced-defense in the league, with or without Ryan Lindgren. What's more, they've unearthed a pure gem in Victor Mancini who has come out of nowhere to gain a varsity role.

When Ryan returns, Victorious Vic could be moved to Hartford where he'll get more ice time.

And as for the total defense being loosey-goosey. So what? We're talking about the Presidents' Trophy-winners still making like Rip Van Winkle.

Make no mistake, Bissonnette smells smoke. As for Brooks' concern, The Maven considers it a false alarm!