College football Week 5 grades: Ole Miss RB doubles as thespian; cheerleader's ninja move
Week 5 in college football taught us one thing.
Nobody knows who is really dominant, but we certainly know this week's pretenders (here’s looking at you fans in Oxford) and whose season is over already (any team with four losses) before the calendar turns to October and it starts getting dark at 4:30 p.m.
The same goes for grading from last season: High marks will only be given to the spectacular, and failing grades have no chance of being reversed.
Last week's top marks went to Colorado's miracle Hail Mary, and failing grades went to Missouri head coach Eli Drinkwitz, who needs a remedial course in clock management, and a Virginia Tech quarterback’s unfortunate safety.
The Week 5 analysis of how fans, teams, players, and coaches fared:
Winners and losers: Alabama beats Georgia in a classic
NIL money can turn into a SAG card
This is just a wild guess, but I'm going to assume that most of the Ole Miss football team is making some decent coin by the fact they are talented enough to go to school and earn a scholarship and the collective (mentioned later) will take care of their every need. With dozens of television cameras at every game and thousands of cell phones, there is nothing a peering eye won't catch.
During Saturday's game against Kentucky, Rebels running back Matt Jones fell to the turf with an apparent injury in the direction of quarterback Jaxson Dart.
That immediately got ABC play-by-play broadcaster Sean McDonough going.
“Matt Jones, fortunately, survived to walk off the field,” McDonough said. “Just a blatant fake injury.”
And it's something you usually see on the defensive side of the ball. Rules analyst Matt Austin then explained there was nothing in the NCAA rulebook to prevent such acting.
“They ought to put something in the book when it’s that egregious,” McDonough said.
Blatant fake injury from Ole Miss vs. Kentucky😬
(via @ESPN)pic.twitter.com/l09rrJ7cA1— On3 (@On3sports) September 28, 2024
If Jones wants to head west to take his talents to Hollywood, the current national initiation fee rate for membership in the Screen Actors Guild is $3,000, with annual base dues costing $236.60. Pretty sure that NIL money, if he is getting any, can cover that easily.
3/4 of the way to an EGOT: F
Always trying to be first and clever
Pro-tip for social media managers: just stop.
I can't understand why people won't wait until the clock hits 0:00 before declaring a game over.
Whoops. pic.twitter.com/zN7jusL4ba
— Bryan Fischer (@BryanDFischer) September 29, 2024
Don't hit send: F
They said it
UNLV thinks Matthew Sluka is The Godfather:
“UNLV Athletics interpreted these demands as a violation of the NCAA pay-for-play rules, as well as Nevada state law. UNLV does not engage in such activity, nor does it respond to implied threats," the school said after Sluka decided to exit stage left when he didn't get the money he alleges he was promised.
***
Last week, Auburn head coach Hugh Freeze complimented Ole Miss coach Lane Kiffin on his handling of his program's name, image, and likeness.
“That’s nice of him. I’m sure he’ll try to steal Walker Jones like he did all our coaches," Kiffin said. Jones is the head of the Grove Collective, the school's NIL initiative.
The worst and best of the rest
Tackling optional:
He's not real @AshtonJeanty2
📺 FS1#BleedBlue | #BuiltDifferent | #HEI2MAN pic.twitter.com/eRsMYx9DgF— Boise State Football (@BroncoSportsFB) September 29, 2024
Blue turf boogie: Reservations for New York
Even Sean Miller is impressed:
The Orlando heat is NO joke 😅😳@Brady_Quinn x @markingramII pic.twitter.com/0nuGyA2ThO
— Big Noon Kickoff (@BNKonFOX) September 28, 2024
What is that, velvet? F
Trickeration, flea flickeration alert:
Flea flickers only 🎯
📺: ESPN https://t.co/kaivWf7DBu pic.twitter.com/QcXAUIV44b— OSU Cowboy Football (@CowboyFB) September 28, 2024
Cowboy flyin': A
Travis Hunter: Not "bland"
WHAT AN INTERCEPTION BY TRAVIS HUNTER
He makes the play and hits the Heisman pose 🔥@CUBuffsFootball pic.twitter.com/cF3MLeOpuM— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) September 28, 2024
100 plays and runnin': Straight to the NFL
Cheerleader on player violence:
one of our cheerleaders just absolutely demolished an oklahoma with some wild crouching tiger hidden dragon move pic.twitter.com/bTlRCFAIXx
— Brice (@dBriceJ) September 28, 2024
Crimson creamed: A
This week’s catches of the year:
HE IS HIM.🤫@Ryanwms1
📺: ABC pic.twitter.com/TEvs07ca3t— Alabama Football (@AlabamaFTBL) September 29, 2024
A front row view of Daniel Jackson’s WILLLD TD catch 💪😤 #FOXFieldPass pic.twitter.com/btMjFYLU3R
— FOX College Football (@CFBONFOX) September 28, 2024
JEREMIAH SMITH ARE YOU KIDDING?! 🤯
📺 Peacock | @OhioStateFB pic.twitter.com/wbhzKFPfWu— NBC Sports (@NBCSports) September 29, 2024
No Stickum required: A+
The playmaker has a fit:
Michael Irvin is losing his mind LLMMAAOOO pic.twitter.com/osJOJkzUpS
— Ahmed/The Ears/IG: BigBizTheGod 🇸🇴 (@big_business_) September 28, 2024
It ain't that serious: F and a nap is needed
Stats for you
0: the number of points Houston has scored in the past two weeks in losses to Cincinnati and Iowa State.
3: Losses to Alabama by Georgia in its last 48 games.
45: Victories by Georgia in its last 48 games.
4: Teams that have not trailed in a game (Tennessee, Army, Indiana, Texas).
8: Consecutive Big 12 home losses for Baylor.
$800,000: Payday Louisiana-Lafayette received for playing Wake Forest. The Ragin' Cajuns won 41-38.
The Dog of the Week
(If you want your dog featured, don't hesitate to send a pic here.)
You got games on your phone? 👀 pic.twitter.com/WGFrOrR1MQ
— UConn Huskies (@UConnHuskies) September 28, 2024
For the first of three times this season, the pups have the week off but enjoy this beauty above.
Follow Scooby Axson on social media @ScoobAxson
(This story was updated to change a video.)
This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: College football grades: Best and worst of Week 5