Cody Zeller has a creative way of keeping Kemba Walker in Charlotte
Cody Zeller didn’t sit through all those business classes at Indiana University just to let them go to waste once he got to the NBA. With free agency just around the corner, he may need them more than ever.
Not so much for himself, but for his superstar teammate on the Charlotte Hornets. Kemba Walker may end up as the most important point guard not named Kyrie Irving to hit the open market. The 29-year-old has already stated that staying in Charlotte is his first priority, but what if that isn’t enough?
That’s where Zeller comes in.
Only one month until free agency starts in the NBA! Fundraising has already begun though! pic.twitter.com/W0R6KFnXT2
— Cody Zeller (@CodyZeller) June 1, 2019
Lemonade stands are foolproof investments. Every child knows this. There’s hardly any overhead, you don’t need too much seed money to get started and resources generally stay at a fixed, low cost.
Not to mention, the city of Charlotte will regularly reach temperatures of 75-90 degrees in the summer. The citizens of that city are going to need something to keep them cool. Thanks to Zeller, Hornets fans can stay hydrated and support their team. It’s a win-win. A supply chain that meets multiple demands.
It’s a good thing Zeller is starting his enterprise a few weeks before free agents can begin signing deals on July 6 because at his low price of 25 cents per glass, the big man will need to sell about, oh, 884 million cups of lemonade to reach his goal. Considering the population of the state of North Carolina tops out around 10 million people, Zeller will need them start craving lemonade like crazy in order to average the 26 million cups sold each day from now until free agency opens he needs to pay Kemba’s salary. A heat wave sure would help.
All Zeller’s customers would get in return is a three-time NBA All-Star who averaged 25.6 points, 4.4 rebounds and 5.9 assists this season, one of the nastiest step-backs the game has ever seen plus a nice, refreshing glass of lemonade. Talk about a bargain.
Of course, Hornets owner Michael Jordan is also worth nearly $2 billion, so maybe he can buy a good amount of lemonade himself. Or he can skip the beverages and pass the money straight to Walker. Think of all the hours of labor it would save Zeller. That’s time he can reinvest into preparing himself for next season, which benefits Jordan and the Hornets even more.
Someone is going to end up paying Kemba a lot of money to come play basketball for them. If it isn’t through Jordan’s generosity or Charlotte’s collective thirst, it’ll be another city. And there’s not enough lemonade in the world to get rid of the awful taste Hornets fans would be left with if that happens.
Go buy some of Cody Zeller’s lemonade, Charlotte fans. It’s your civic duty.
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Blake Schuster is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at blakeschuster@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter!
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