Women Are Revealing The Things Men Do Everyday That Are Actually Creepy AF, And As A Fellow Woman, I Can Confirm These Are 100% Accurate
Despite it being the 21st century, women everywhere are still (sadly) dealing with creepy, inappropriate, and downright toxic behavior from men. Yes, there are certain actions that people immediately recognize as threatening; However, some habits or behaviors that many men deem "normal" or don't even notice themselves doing still terrify women without their realizing it...
So, when an online conversation went viral asking, "Women of Reddit, what things do men do that frighten you without them even realizing it?" I knew I had to share a few stories that most women can, unfortunately, relate to. From aggressive driving to unannounced hugs, here are 19 things men unknowingly do that scare women:
1."I love hiking and have it in my dating profile as one of my hobbies. Men have gotten very angry when I don’t want to do that as a first date. I go with my cousin, friends, and kids, but I know them all well. I’m not going into the woods alone with a stranger."
"As a woman, you would not believe the number of men on dating apps who want to go hiking or camping on their first date. It’s freaking wild.
When I was single, I started asking them, 'How do you know I’m not going to kill you?' And it would creep them out.
I lost many potential dates, but they eventually got the point."
2."I’ll give a personal example. When I was 14 or 15, I was at the movies with a friend, who was sitting to my left. Two rows ahead was my family. The rest of the theater was empty."
"An older man (probably in his 50s) sat to my right. I was uncomfortable because he chose the one directly next to me out of all the seats he could’ve chosen. I was wearing shorts. He put his hand under part of the armrest and began touching and feeling my thigh. I asked my friend to move over, and she did, and so did I, by one seat only.
The man left the theater minutes later. THAT is scary. Sometimes, it can be absent-minded; sometimes, it is extremely seriously intentional and predatory."
3."When they block my path — like stand in the way and corner me so I'll be coerced into a conversation. Scary AF."
"I had a guy in college ask me out twice in person, and both times, he cornered me against a wall to do so. At least the second time, other people intervened to get him to leave me alone.
He wasn’t a big dude; in fact, he may have been shorter than me, but he was an asshole, and I was genuinely scared. I still don’t get why he kept asking me out. He was not interested in getting to know me or particularly nice to me. He tried at least one other time via Facebook,"
4."I'm a bartender, and I can't tell you how many times a guy has reached over the bar and pulled my hair in a 'playful' way when my back is turned. Then they get upset when I don't find it cute or funny."
"I have long hair. The number of men wanting to pull it or try to pull it is upsetting. When I tell them I don't want my hair pulled, they reply, 'Then why have it long?'
Because I f*cking like it that way!"
5."When they say, 'You’re lucky I’m a nice guy.' A nice guy is just nice; they don’t have to tell me about it. And that also means you’re thinking of what you could be doing if you weren’t a nice guy.'"
"I hate when men act like they’re a great guy because they take no for an answer or they’ve never assaulted or hit a woman.
I’m like, 'Bro, I don't know how to tell you this, but that should be normal behavior.' Not hitting a woman doesn't make you exceptional."
6."Hitting on us while we’re working. You didn’t sense a spark. We are just getting PAID to be nice to you. And cornering us in a place where we can’t leave is extremely uncomfortable at best and terrifying/dangerous at worst."
"Always happened when I was a barista. I was super friendly with every customer, but guys would think it meant something because I remembered their usual.
I used to get the most inappropriate comments from much older men, too, who obviously didn't see me as a human with feelings but rather an object to comment on."
7."When he gets aggressive while driving, I am terrified."
"My ex used aggressive driving as a way to punish me. If we got into a fight either in the car or while out somewhere and he was driving, he would turn red with rage and punch the accelerator. Then, he’d slam on his brakes at the last second to avoid hitting another car.
He knew it terrified me and that I hated it. I would cry and beg him to slow down, back off the car in front, not weave between cars. I always felt like he was trying to make me feel like he could harm me in an instant if he wanted to."
8."Interrogating a woman about her living situation."
"When they ask what part of town she lives in, if alone or with any men, how long she commutes for, is always at home when not working, etc.
Skin-crawling shit, especially if we’ve only just met. Usually, they are rapid-fire questions, and the one asking typically looks very serious and impatient while doing so. F*ck off."
9."Touching me without telling me he's going to do it — even if he's a friend."
"A hug, a friendly hand on the shoulder, whatever. I don't like it unless I have some warning first.
A good friend once came up to me from behind and hugged me. It was a 'Guess who this is?' type of thing while he bear-hugged me. I froze and nearly lost my shit.
Afterward, my female friend who was with me gave me the look of 'Did he really do that to you?' Guys just don't think."
10."Not taking us seriously when we instinctively notice danger."
"One time, I went to a spa with my friend; she has natural D-sized breasts and is very skinny. That said, she doesn't notice when guys are creeping on her. At the spa, we were nude, and one dude saw her, and his entire demeanor changed; his face was frightening, and his mouth stayed half open the whole time I saw him. Everywhere we walked, the dude followed us to see more of her. So I never left her side, but I didn't want to tell her until it was needed because she could either get scared or get mad at me. I only mentioned it when I had to use the bathroom, and she said she would wait for me outside. The dude finally relented and left us, but his face was frightening; it's hard to describe why. Maybe not that much would happen at a public spa, but getting cornered when you are nude is also something you do not want to happen.
Shortly after, I told a guy who was interested in me about the spa situation, and he laughed it off and basically berated the fact that I was worried in the first place. Not, 'Hey, good on you for protecting your friend,' nope, he told me that nothing bad was actually going on; he said knows this for sure even though he wasn't there. It's like they think I will get a panic attack right then and there while telling the story or something. Take me f*cking seriously, and listen to what I say."—u/United_Wolverine8400
11."How they act when they’re pissed at a game or sports."
"Oof, the tone of yelling is triggering! There’s 'Oh shoot; my thing didn’t go as planned' and 'dangerous, I’m gonna break something rage.'
Tone the anger down. I know you’re passionate about your team, but it’s scary.
My husband is a kind man, and this behavior takes my body back to being a little kid and dealing with my stepdad’s tantrums. We’ve discussed, but it’s better to leave the room to self-regulate."
12."When he puts himself too far in your personal space bubble, and you inch away, only for him to inch towards you again."
"My boss did that one time. He stood super close behind me while I was working the cash register (we were alone in a cafeteria). When he asked if being shy was why I moved away from him, I answered, 'No, not shy, just uncomfortable.'
Then he got pissy and acted offended. To this day, I'm annoyed with myself that I never complained to HIS boss. But I guess as a 17-year-old, I just didn't realize that was an option."
13."I once had a male friend who seemed to enjoy telling me that he could overpower me if he really wanted to and then would laugh. He was surprised that I refused to be alone with him when the other people in our friend group weren’t around because he was 'just joking' and 'not a threat.' Needless to say, I eventually left both him and that friend group behind."
"My boyfriend and I were playing (yes, we actually play together), and he plopped on top of me during our play and pinned me down by using one hand of his to control both my wrists on top of my head so he could tickle me.
At first, I was laughing because we were playing, but a few seconds in, I had the scary realization that I could absolutely NOT wiggle out of his grip of my own volition. He was only using ONE HAND!!!
I asked him to release me eventually, and he did, but I was just left thinking, 'If he wanted not to release me, it's literally a possibility; he could control me with just his strength.'
Realizing that I'd never be as strong as the average man was terrifying. Even with my weight workouts and endurance training, I just don't have the strength."
14."Not taking 'no' for an answer and then following me is something I've personally experienced."
"I was walking home from meeting a friend for a meal at my student accommodation when a man smoking outside a pub called out to me, asking my name and telling me to come over. I made it clear that I wasn't interested and walked away, but he followed me and began calling out again.
After a few streets, I noticed he was still walking behind me, so I dipped inside a takeaway place where a group of students were and told them a man was following me. One of the guys from that group and the people working there went outside to look, but it seemed like he left after I went inside and spoke to them, as they couldn't find him. The student group was nice enough to walk me home in case he returned, but luckily he didn't."
15."When they get upset about you being cautious of them."
"They feel so offended by it that they expect you to drop your guard for them specifically because they claim they are 'not that guy.' Yet if you refuse (because you have every right to refuse, considering our repeated experiences with them), they start getting angry and prove even further that they are probably that guy — because the angrier they get that you WON’T drop your guard, the more violent they are bound to be as a response.
They become very unpredictable. Now, I’m looking out for my safety even MORE. The man who gets angry that you’re cautious of him simply because he's a guy and tells you he’s NOT that guy is absolutely that guy. Because you’re watching it happen in real-time, and they don’t even realize it.
You’d think they’d have enough common sense to consider all of the information, statistics, studies, experiences, content, material, videos, and proof we have of WHY women should be cautious of men and be like, 'Yeah, no, I totally understand.' But no. Each time, they get so offended and take it so personally, and then they quite literally become 'that guy,' proving that I was right about being cautious of you from the start."
16."Strangers aggressively asking us out/trying to flirt when we're just out running errands."
"Men who go really hard on this are expecting something from us. If we are nice to them, they accuse us of leading them on (and get angry at us for that.) If we are cold and shut it down immediately, we're a bitch (and they get angry at us for that.) There's no winning. And while some men will just yell at you or call you names and leave, some will get physically aggressive with you if they think you owe them attention and aren't providing it in the way they want, and there's no way to tell who is who. Trying to be invisible while in public is exhausting to avoid this.
I want to make sure I'm being clear that asking women out itself is not the problem here. That's fine and often sweet, but there's a time and place. If a woman is flirting with you in a bar, go for it. If you are in a bowling league together and end up talking and laughing every Tuesday night, it's totally appropriate. The scary ones are the guys that treat you like prey when they have zero contact or context for you, and you're just trying to buy a cup of coffee or something, and they get aggressively in your space and start making comments about your body, etc. They already have shown they don't respect social norms, which makes them dangerous if you don't act exactly how they want."
17."Villianizing every woman who's ever turned them down."
"Saying things like, 'She probably was using me until someone better came along,' or 'She must have faked enjoying the whole date. Why are women so evil like this?'
No, bro. She gave you a shot, enjoyed the date, but decided you weren't for her. No one is at fault here."
18."Insisting on 'helping' in invasive ways or in ways that create a power differential."
"For example, my 70+-year-old neighbor (who I’m sure thought he was just being nice) was out with his leaf blower and 'offered' to do my sidewalk. He pushed his way into my yard, blocked my exits, and wouldn’t leave until he was satisfied that the job was done.
Or that guy at the bar who buys you a drink so he can sit too close and push into your personal space, and then expect some sort of 'reward' for the 'nice' thing he did.
Or the guy who loads your groceries into your car over your protests and wants your phone number in exchange.
Oh, and speaking of phone numbers, when they insist on calling you right then to make sure the number you gave them is real. If we gave you a fake number, it’s because we don’t trust you. Doing this shit shows us that we’re right not to trust you."
19."I’m frightened by how many men in my country (and even some women who are desperate for their approval) are casually agreeing that women should be denied life-saving medical care and just die; men should get modern medical care, but if it’s a woman, we need to debate the situation."
"As a lady who underwent a medically necessary abortion to avoid death by sepsis, I have to say that demanding my murder is not a defensible position to hold or a normal thing to say out loud.
I can’t even bring myself to say, 'What if you were in the hospital, and I was outside protesting that you should be denied life-saving care because I don’t like your demographic?' I couldn’t even suggest such a thing; meanwhile, men are screaming it in our faces."
Which one of these creepy behaviors did you find most terrifying? How have men unknowingly made you feel uncomfortable or scared? Share your story in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger as a result of domestic violence, call 911. For anonymous, confidential help, you can call the 24/7 National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE) or chat with an advocate via the website.
If you or someone you know has experienced sexual assault, you can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE), which routes the caller to their nearest sexual assault service provider. You can also search for your local center here.
