How People With Libra Traits Can Practice Self-Care
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Let’s clear the air: Yes, we’re a bunch of science-minded health and wellness journalists, and no, astrology isn’t backed by the type of hard evidence we typically rely on here at SELF. But who’s to say a bit of woo is incompatible with psychology? Whether you see it as a guiding light or just a fun way to reflect, becoming more aware of your traits and patterns can help you better understand yourself and navigate life’s challenges with more self-compassion and insight.
As someone with more than a few stereotypically Libra friends—and a couple of Libra placements myself (shout-out to my rising and Mars)—I’ve seen firsthand how the sign’s supposed strengths can come with their own set of struggles. Sure, Libras are said to be the ultimate peacemakers, all about balance and harmony in their relationships. But that same drive to keep the peace can quickly spiral into people pleasing, indecision, and sometimes losing sight of their own needs entirely.
And if you’ve heard whispers that people with Libra traits can be a little fake, well, there’s a reason: Astrology subscribers will tell you that this charismatic sign thrives on approval and can get tangled up in seeking love at the expense of being their true selves.
But let’s be fair (we’re talking about judicious Libra, after all): You don’t need to be born between late September and mid-October (or believe in the zodiac) to deal with conflict avoidance, decision paralysis, or craving validation. We’ve all been there. So whether you’re a Libra or just guilty of acting like one now and then, here are some tips to help make your life a little easier.
1. Recognize and interrupt the fawn response.
You may not have heard of “fawn” as one of your potential stress responses, which also include the famous fight, flight, and freeze. “A fawn response is basically just pleasing and appeasing to avoid conflict and ensure safety,” Maggie Jones Boyle, LPC, a therapist based in Lawrence, Kansas, tells SELF. “When you’re fawning, you lose track of what you’re actually feeling in that moment. You’re too busy saying whatever you think will make the other person happy or make you come across as friendly and likable.”
According to Jones Boyle, simple awareness of this tendency—which Libra types are known for—is sometimes enough to reverse course (though tip number four below will probably come in handy too). How do you spot it in action? She recommends paying attention to how it feels in your body when you’re avoiding conflict, big or small—like when you insist to your partner something was NBD when you were actually hurt or when you tell your date that, yes, you totally love that podcast (that you just couldn’t get into) too. For example, your voice may get higher, your smile might feel strained or forced, and your energy could feel scattered or maybe even out-of-body, like you’re watching yourself perform.
When you notice yourself smoothing over a social situation at your own expense, Jones Boyle says to take a moment to pause, breathe, and reconnect with how you actually feel before responding. “What do you want to say and do that aligns authentically with who you are?” she asks—versus automatically acting however you think will keep the peace or make the other person happy.
2. Tune into your body to overcome indecisiveness too.
On the plus side, Libras are known for seeing all sides of a situation, which, unfortunately, is an easy way to overthink everything and become indecisive as hell. “As an air sign—which are all about the mind and intellect—Libras tend to spend a lot of time in their heads instead of their bodies,” Jones Boyle says. To cut through decision paralysis, she recommends tuning into your body again, this time by using a technique called “felt sense awareness,” which is essentially an immersive gut check that involves visualizing each choice in detail and observing your emotional and physical responses.
For example, imagine you’re trying to decide between ordering chocolate or vanilla ice cream. “Literally picture yourself getting and eating each flavor,” Jones Boyle says. “What does the chocolate taste like? How do you feel when you lick it? Is it what you want?” You can use this method for bigger decisions too: How does it feel to imagine yourself in that new city? What might your life look like if you said yes—or no—to that opportunity? Ultimately, Jones Boyle says it’s all about asking, “If I walk myself through the trajectory of this decision and get to the other side, what might it be like? How do I feel about it?” From there, you’re more likely to identify what you really want, interrupt endless overthinking, and maybe even learn trust your own instincts.
3. Carve out a beautiful, calming space for self-care.
Anyone who considers themselves an aesthete—as the seventh sign of the zodiac allegedly is—knows that beauty can be a powerful tool for self-care. “On a day-to-day basis, one of the best things a Libra type can do for themselves is keep an aesthetically pleasing environment,” Jones Boyle says. Whether that looks like making sure your space is tidy or investing in things that bring you joy—like a favorite piece of art or matching throw pillows—she says curating a personal haven can give you an external source of calm when you’re not feeling so serene yourself.
No need to turn into a full-on interior decorator, either. Making your bed every day, turning a free corner of your home into a mini sanctuary, or creating a clutter-free space on your desk are small but impactful ways to bring more good vibes into your daily life. Even adding a vase of fresh flowers, lighting a candle, or playing music that feels soothing can help you tap into your Libra sensibilities.
4. Repeat after us: It’s okay not to be liked.
If you identify with Libra traits, you’re probably naturally gifted at making people feel comfortable. According to Jones Boyle, you can effortlessly create common ground and make it seem like others know you well, even if they don’t. While this social ease is one of your strengths, it can also lead to hiding parts of yourself to avoid disapproval or conflict. The downside? You might walk away from an interaction feeling like you weren’t truly seen—and questioning if anyone really knows the real you.
That’s where mantras can come in handy, according to Jones Boyle. Next time you want to bring your most authentic self to anything from an important meeting to a fun night out, she suggests repeating something like, “Disapproval is okay with me” beforehand. This practice can remind you that being your true self means not everyone will like you. And not only is that okay, but it’s actually a good thing. “If everyone likes you, there’s probably an issue,” she explains, adding that it often means you’re becoming a social chameleon to please others. Another statement to try is, “I don’t want those who don’t want me,” which shifts the focus away from earning others’ approval to asking yourself, “Do I even like this person?”
5. Set boundaries and enforce them.
For Libras and recovering people pleasers everywhere, setting boundaries can feel like a conflict waiting to happen (a.k.a. the last thing you want). But Jones Boyle explains that drawing these lines is not about being mean or selfish—it’s about safeguarding yourself, which is a kindness you deserve just as much as anyone else. “When you enforce a boundary, you’re protecting a person who is very worthy of being protected, and that’s yourself,” she says.
So what makes a boundary effective? There are three key components to keep in mind: It should be clear, expressed, and enforceable. “A lot of people aren’t even really aware of what a healthy boundary is,” Jones Boyle notes. First, get clear on what you need. Then express it to others—because, as she points out, people can’t read your mind. Finally, the hardest part: enforcement. It’s not enough to simply state a limit; you have to follow through on it. And while others may not always respect it immediately, holding firm on your decision reinforces that you are responsible for prioritizing your well-being.
Don’t know where to start? Here are a few Libra-flavored issues to tackle:
If indecisive is your middle name: Determine how many outside opinions you’ll field before moving forward with your choice, and try to limit it to only a few. Otherwise, you’ll get overwhelmed.
If you’re sick of playing peacekeeper or go-between: Tell people you’re staying out of it, thanks, and shut down any efforts to play he-said, she-said.
If you’re tired of always saying “yes” to plans or favors you don’t want to do: Set a limit on how many social activities you can comfortably commit to each month, and say no to the rest.
Of course, you don’t have to be a Libra to see yourself in the tendencies above. Whether or not you owe your indecisiveness, people-pleasing habits, or need for balance to the stars, who couldn’t use a little more boundary-setting, self-reflection, and beauty in their life?
Related:
What Is ‘Rejection Therapy’ and Will It Really Make You Less Socially Anxious?
3 Things to Do When You Want to Cancel Plans but Feel Guilty
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Originally Appeared on SELF
