People Who *Almost* Married Rich Are Revealing Why They Didn't, And Honestly, It's Proof Money Isn't Everything
Recently, Reddit user joethebr0o asked why people leave their rich partners, and the stories proved that money doesn't fix everything. Here's what they had to say.
1."I had a guy ask me where I wanted to go on a trip. I was like, 'I don't know, maybe Greece.' He was like, 'Let's go to Rome.' I had been there several times before but told him it was fine, and where we went didn't matter as long as we were together. So we went and saw a whole bunch of sights (which I had seen before but still loved), but I apparently wasn't *fawning* over him enough and didn't seem *grateful* enough for him taking me there. He kept trying to tell me how much money he had spent on food to apparently try to make me grateful (???) — which led to a whole huge fight, and then we broke up."
2."I'm a guy who left a rich guy. ... He was a true trust fund baby, and after two years of feeling like he just didn't care about me, I realized he just didn't care about...anything. He collected 'friends' if they had interesting jobs or backstories but didn't care about them. He'd buy pets to post on his Instagram, then give them away after a few months. A few of my heirloom decorations I'd brought into our house, mostly gifts from friends and family, he'd give away to the cleaner because they didn't match the aesthetic or he didn't understand why I'd care about them. In one of our final conversations, he flat out said, 'I know I'm supposed to care about you, but I don't.'"
"There wasn't even any malice in it; it was just factual. And that made it very easy to just switch off my feelings on return.
He was also really lazy. His dad bought him a local coffee shop to run to try to build up some sort of work ethic, but he hated it and eventually moved back to his home country. I took the dog."
3."He was a trust fund baby who was secretly envious of me, my work ethic, my hobbies, and my personality because he had none of his own. He came in and basically tried to convince me I was an unhappy workaholic who NEEDED him and his money, all while he bragged about my success to anyone who would listen and contorted his entire personality around my own. A raging, controlling, and emotionally abusive narcissist to the extreme. I still shudder at some memories...yuck."
4."At first, it was fun not having to worry about anything. He let me drive his cars, his boat, and money to spend each month, and he took me to great places. He seemed to sincerely trust me, which made me like him. Then, at the end of the year, credit statements came in, and he sat me down with the credit card I had been allowed to use. (Mind you, I never asked for these things, but I didn't say no when they were offered). Because I did not grow up rich, I was very conscious about spending. He even complimented my very basic needs in comparison to other women. He questioned every charge on the credit card, even things he had asked me to buy for him because he didn't have time to shop for it! One item stuck out to me in particular. I made a $5 purchase at a gas station and then immediately after a purchase for gas at Costco."
"He asked me what the $5 was for; I honestly couldn't remember. I don't eat candy, and I constantly have a water bottle with me, so I didn't stop for any of those things.. and it was exactly $5. Then I remembered: on that particular day, I had fumes in my gas tank — I didn't have enough to reach Costco. Rather than fill up my car with expensive gas station gas, I put $5 in to get me to Costco and then filled up my tank. I knew right then and there I would be defending things for the rest of my life. The trusting me and complimenting my frugal purchases was all b*******. I just couldn't live that way."
5."[He was] narcissistic, materialistic, selfish, and so entitled. We were on a date, and it started pouring outside, so he got in his nice car, then refused to let me in because he 'didn't want the interior to get wet.' We were two feet from his car. I wouldn't have gotten it any wetter than he did. (That's just one example of the many red flags.) Anyway, I had to walk a block to my own car, and I was beyond soaked by the time I got in. Also, I had to pay for all our dinners/movie tickets/etc. because he wanted to make sure I wasn't 'in the relationship for the money.' Oh, and his parents were terrifying. There were very few boundaries. ... I also wasn't allowed to cut my hair or style it differently than what he liked. Or wear anything he didn't approve of first. I really dodged a bullet by dumping him."
6."I'm a man who left a rich woman. We dated for months, but the majority of it was long-distance. She wanted me to move to the States with her. She offered me a very beautiful place to stay with her, financial security, and the opportunity to go to all these exotic locations without having to worry about the price of anything. While it was very enticing, I was in college and wanted to finish my degree, and every time we talked about what I was doing job-wise/career-wise, she'd put on this really condescending tone like, 'Aww, good for you.' I just felt like everything I did, she looked down upon. Eventually, I couldn't take it anymore and broke it off."
7."He was extremely emotionally codependent, which was exhausting to deal with 24/7. I felt exhausted and drained by every interaction we had. To top it all off, he indicated that he never wanted to get married or have children because he was afraid of having to 'share his wealth.' So essentially, the relationship had no long-term future. When I told him I didn't want to be with him because of the reasons above, he tried to tell me that I was out of my mind and wanted to take me to see HIS therapist to try to convince me to change my mind about being in a relationship with him. Lol. Ten years later, he's still alone and wondering why women keep leaving him after a few months. On the surface, he seems like a catch, but once you peel the layers of the onion off…he was more like catch and release."
8."We only dated a few months. He future-faked non-stop, dangling carrots of shopping trips and getting massages together, but barely made time even to meet me for dinner. When we did go to dinner, he acted entitled to the staff. He tried to sleep with me on our third date and rolled his eyes when I said I wouldn't do that until we were exclusively together. The final straw was when he aggressively insisted on flying me out to visit my family at Christmas, not understanding that I couldn't even afford the cab ride to or from the airport; the best option was to take a bus. ... I was too embarrassed to explain that to him. He was just so pushy and arrogant about it all. He got angry, and we mutually ghosted after that."
9."I went on dates with a 'daddy's money' rich guy. We originally kept the dates basic — they were cheap places, and I'd pay for myself. He hated the dates and wanted to 'treat me.' I was hesitant about that, but allowed him to on one date. His attitude did a 180, and he believed that since he had dropped money on a nice steakhouse and expensive wine that I 'owed' him, He wanted sex; he wanted me to be more submissive. He lost his damn mind. I blocked him immediately."
10."I dated a doctor who came from a very wealthy family (he grew up next door to a well-known country singer, for example). When I first met him, I finally understood what it meant to be 'swept off my feet.' Fancy dinners. Elaborate gifts. Shows after shows—incredible trips. And yet, I was absolutely miserable through all of it. He was constantly reminding me that I was a problem — that my responses to his coldness were a problem. He isolated me from everyone, and when we argued about how he shouldn't tell me when I could or couldn't go to the bathroom, I finally had enough. I was in therapy at that point (ironically, at his request), and my therapist helped me see just what a narcissistic and controlling asshole he was. It took me two times to leave him for good because the love bombing was wild. I realized that no amount of money or prestige was worth how broken I felt inside. He needed me to be small so he could be big."
11."I broke up with one because every time we ran into her friends, she would introduce me and then rattle off these reasons why we were together like it had to be justified. As if she was embarrassed or something? The last straw was one day that happened again, and then we went to a restaurant, and she was loudly talking shit about this sushi restaurant that we were at and was just rude AF."
12."I dated a hedge fund dude for over a year. We lived together and were ring shopping. He said once we got married, I wouldn't work anymore. And he 'forbid me' from getting a graduate degree. I dumped him; he accused me of being a gold digger (weird and wrong). Months later, he proposed to an ex-GF who was actually a gold digger who was waiting in the wings for him. He basically wanted total control over finances so he could cheat and have 'final say' over all the family decisions. I have no regrets leaving him — even though he's worth millions, and I've had to work harder for longer in my life. Whatever, bruh, can't buy my dignity."
13."Because he thought he could fix all of our problems with money (he wasn't rich rich, but he had money). I felt so alone and neglected in our relationship: he'd rather spend time playing video games than spend time with me. He wouldn't listen to me when I spoke. He didn't take my feelings seriously and would laugh when I was upset. He wouldn't help me around the house. And his way of putting a Band-Aid on it was by taking me out or buying me gifts. I didn't want any of that; I just wanted to be treated like a person and have my feelings respected. No amount of money could make me stay with someone who thought my feelings were funny rather than legitimate."
14."He was — and still is — a finance bro from one of those old English aristocratic families that appear as side characters in Wikipedia pages about the Royal Family. We dated for two years. I couldn't take any more shooting weekends or dinner parties of 30 people where the women take tea after dinner, and the men go off to smoke and drink whiskey. Plus, the chronic anxiety of his racist old uncles was too much (I'm East Asian)."
15."He had a coke problem and binged on it every week. He kept telling me he was going to quit, but he never did, so I ended it. His money gave him easy access to coke, and that scared me."
16."I dated a man who didn't work — he lived off of a trust fund. Oddly, since he could afford nearly anything, nothing had any value. He'd buy a $400 KitchenAid mixer and burn it up making Christmas candy the first week. If he decided to make more candy, he'd just go buy another $400 mixer. Nothing meant particularly ANYTHING to him."
17."He would occasionally spend a lot of money on these very grandiose displays of affection and then hold them over me for a very long time. He proposed to me in front of my family to make sure that I would not say no. In the end, I felt more controlled than loved."
18."Because to him, I was an acquisition, not a partner. I was there only to checkmark a box on his list, and once he had me, he put very little effort into caring whether I was happy or not. The only times he'd get emotionally invested was if he thought I wasn't acting exactly the way he wanted me to. For example, I was feeling tired and ill and wanted to stay home from a long weekend away with his friends. That resulted in a long argument, and he gaslighted me until I relented and went. Then, he was mad that I didn't act like I was having a good time. Because I wasn't, I was sick!"
19."I ... am a man who left a rich woman. I was in a transitional period of life, working at a gas station, trying to get back on track with life. I met her through a dating site. We were together off and on for three years. During that time, she was always belittling me for being in my thirties and working at a gas station while she was a college graduate in her early twenties. She was very abusive and would hit me often to resolve any kind of argument. The sex was awesome, and she did have a sweet side, but it wasn't enough. She told me I was just a 'for the time being' boyfriend and had no intentions of moving forward towards marriage. The final straw was when her family accused me of going after her money. I was in a better place and valued myself enough not to take any more abuse; them saying that made me realize how insignificant I was in the relationship."
"The money was from family wealth. She never had to work hard for anything and that was a huge disconnect that I should have realized early on but didn't."
20."He was never happy and incredibly insecure. He had money to buy whatever he wanted (and worked hard for it) but had a horrible relationship with his family, friends, and past girlfriends due to his insecurities in himself. No matter what he did to work on himself, he still couldn't find happiness. This resulted in him putting me on a pedestal, and I felt like, in return, I wasn't being challenged. I have no hard feelings toward him to this day, but it really taught me that ... money and freedom do not buy happiness. You have to be happy with yourself first. I also felt like because of his insecurities, I couldn't connect to him. I would like to consider myself a secure person, so I felt like I constantly needed to validate him, and it was exhausting."
21."He kept bragging about Daddy's money and that he would take over the company. It was embarrassing, and I realized I could never fall in love with him. I broke it off three months in after he asked me to go on a one-month cruise with him and his family (fully paid for me). I decided it just wouldn't be right for me to go on that cruise, knowing I wanted to break it off. I'm still very proud of myself for making that choice at 22, as someone who grew up poor and had never been on a holiday, never mind in a different country. It was my dream to travel, but it worked out well because now I get to travel due to my own hard work."
22."He wanted me to leave college, leave the country and marry him. He was obsessed with my virginity and fertility. He refused to kiss me to preserve our 'martial night of bliss.' He often told me he loved me because I was 'trainable' and he could 'guide and mold' me. After three weeks of dating, he proposed."
"The diamond was massive. He showed me what would be my new home (he still owns the property) and car (with a driver). He had already purchased jewelry and chosen a few wedding dresses. It felt weird to me. I was 19, he was 40. He had never raised his voice or laid a hand on me, but it felt….imminent. When I said no to his proposal, he immediately called me old and fat and said he would find a young, beautiful wife. I still shudder to think about that last sentence. I remember saying, '[Insert Name], I'm 19. What are you going to do? Go to a high school?' He didn't respond. He's now even more wealthy and still alone."
23."He wanted me as a trophy girlfriend that he could dress up however he wanted. He loved that I was a wild child at first, but he very quickly started to ask me to change who I was to fit into the mold that he wanted."
24."He asked me not to move to New York to pursue a career in tech and instead stay with him, and he could provide for me and spoil me, and I would never have to work again. All I had to do was give him kids. I was 22 he was 29. He was a nice guy, but he never thought about me or what I wanted; he just cared about how I would fit into his life and round out his accomplishments by being young, hot, and the mother of his kids. I said no, and I moved. I never regretted it. Now, I have a life, accomplishments, success, and wealth that I built all by myself, for myself, and no one can ever take that away from me. I'm proud of myself."
25."He couldn't do ANYTHING. He didn't know how to pay a bill, cook, dress for anything non-casual, or manage money...NOTHING. He had never had a job, and he was nearing 30. He lived like a 13-year-old, with his mother doing everything. He wasn't like a whiney little kid; he was a nice guy, but his mother was too comfortable having him rely on her as if he were her pet. He would eventually inherit a share of hundreds of millions, if not a billion, dollars. I could have had a super wealthy life. I wasn't interested in that. I loved him, but I realized I'd be signing up for a life of being his carer/organizer/planner."
"Now I'm about to break up with a guy who became the same but is dirt poor, lmao. Lack of independence is such a massive turnoff."
26.I could've stayed in a long-term relationship at 30 and been set financially for life, which was huge because my family has no money at all, but I left because I knew I'd never truly be happy. If we had kids, I would have been the only parent. I'd never be a top priority; my needs would never matter as much. And he demanded a prenup even though we both made pennies, but his dad left a lot of money to his mom, and that was supposed to be only for him. 🙄"
"It was the best decision ever...for about a decade. I bought a house, had a fulfilling career and social life, traveled often, and things were looking up until a couple of years ago. I've been laid off twice (now in my ninth month of the second layoff) and lost my social life and some family members (friends moved or showed their true asshole colors, brother divorced, dad hates me because I vote for Democrats, etc.). He moved to another country, makes $250k/year or more, and knocked up the first girl he slept with, who was 15 years his junior. Even though I know I made the right decision; I can't help but think of how much I wouldn't have to worry about my bank account, retirement, and spending in general if I just ignored my feelings and values. But I still tell myself it was the right move, and I'll get out of this cycle at some point. Hopefully soon!"
27."Because I was a young trophy girlfriend for him, and he wanted to own and control me. He was older than me and wanted to pretend he was a hippy on weekends, and I helped this fantasy. He planned my life out without discussion and told me how it would be. So, I joined the carpenter's union and took on a much more masculine work life than he could claim, and he hated that. Then I left him. It felt good. Under California law, I could have married him and then taken half of everything, but I didn’t want that much entanglement with him. I won by leaving."
28."Rich-ish guy who is now, ten years later, rich rich. I left him because I didn't fit the life he knew he wanted. His path has always been clear for him — go to a reputable college, get some experience in a large company in the same field his family was in, eventually help manage their family business, and probably eventually move into their 200-year-old manor when his parents retired. That path had sort of been set out by his family, but he truly wanted to follow it, too. There was very little freedom for us to explore something else, like living abroad, living in the city, or even him following me to where my career was taking me."
"I didn't want so much commitment when all I got in return was a loving partner (which, yes, is lovely, but I ended up meeting someone else after the breakup who is just as lovely) and some luxury items, vacations, and lifestyle which I don't particularly care about. It wasn't worth my freedom, to be honest. We still meet from time to time — my partner and I attended his wedding, etc. — so no harsh feelings, but his and my visions for life just didn't fit."
29."I'm a gay dude who left a rich dude. The money is great, but it doesn't compensate for pure, unadulterated love. He could buy me anything — food or an apartment or whatever — but he wouldn't help me set up my printer, and he just gave me money to get a massage instead of giving me back rubs (i.e., small compassionate things). To quote him, it was like asking Picasso to draw a selfie. I took away a lot of things from my time with him, as I thought dating a rich guy would make me happy. It did motivate me to work harder, though, so I could enjoy that same lifestyle, and two years later, I do. :)"
30."He was actually a cute, nice guy, but incredibly dumb. He is old money rich — all from his dad. He had no interests for himself; he couldn't talk about anything. It was boring as hell. Simple things like discussing a movie together or talking about new recipes...he had nothing to say. He had no passion for anything. Nevertheless, he was always sweet, not arrogant, and a gentleman."
"We're talking about filthy rich — about low nine figures. His 'friends' used him, and his exes were gold diggers. I couldn't take it; he probably felt so alone that he put up with that behavior. During that time, I never accepted an expensive gift, but I would always be grateful for small things, like if he brought me ChapStick if my lips were chipped, lol. I wanted to show him that these thoughtful things can make someone happy. But I just wasn't in love anymore."
31."I was a college student, totally broke with nowhere to go. He gave me a place to stay and paid for everything I needed or wanted. He expected me to cook and clean, be quiet and look pretty in front of his family and friends, and have sex with him every night. It felt like I was a maid who was sleeping with her employer. After nearly two years, he proposed, and I just panicked."
32."He wasn't rich (he was 22), but his parents were rich. His mother hated me for class reasons; she basically thought I crawled out of a gutter into their lives. I tolerated that, thinking things would pay off eventually...but I left the first time he hit me. That was 20 years ago. He married a stripper and never made anything of himself. He's 40 now and still living off mom and dad's money as a 'podcaster and self-published author.' I dodged a whole mess of bullets there."
33."His overbearing mother. Among many other things, he couldn't understand why I wasn't available for a spur-of-the-moment 1 p.m. lady's brunch on a Thursday while I had a full-time demanding job or why my parents (very much middle-class) only invited them to dinners in their house and never to a fancy sit down restaurant. We fought about issues like this all the time, and he always chose his mother's side."
34."I dated a billionaire and loved the access to extraordinary humans — from music to food and fashion. I had to leave him because he pillaged companies and communities to make his money. It was heartbreaking to see the damage he caused such hardworking people."
35."I asked him to have a quiet night in after a long week, and he agreed and made reservations at a 'get dolled up' restaurant. Because: 'It's Friday, people will think something is up if we don't go out!' Who?! Who will think this??"
36.And finally..."When his idea of romance was buying me a yacht but forgetting my birthday."
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
