Newlywed Frustrated After Husband’s Mom Comes to Stay with Them — Without a Return Flight Home
A woman on Reddit is expressing frustration over the in-law issues she's been having throughout her relationship with her now-husband
A woman on Reddit is asking for advice — and commiseration — over some ongoing in-law issues.
In an anonymous post, the 25-year-old says she and her husband married this year after five years together. However, "since the beginning we have had MAJOR in-law issues," she shares. And now, "My hubs wants his mom stay with us with no return flight home. It started with him saying two weeks but now he wants a month. This unending return flight home is driving me crazy."
The woman writes that she works from home five days a week, and last month, suffered an injury that has her mostly bedridden and on crutches. Meanwhile, her husband works out of the house, stops at the gym on his way home and often works into the night in his home office. So, the woman says, "I have been going crazy having to also host and be with MIL 24/7 (she doesn’t go anywhere except sometimes a walk)."
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Despite her frustrations, she says her husband "claims he wants [his mom] around, but they don't do anything together." And in part, the poster "feels bad" that her mother-in-law therefore doesn't have much to do.
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Though she's taken her out to shop or to grab a bite here and there, "I'm exhausted and really need space," the woman says. "I don't want to mingle constantly or hang out. I feel like a ticking bomb and don't want to blow up at her. Am I being unreasonable for not wanting her here on an unending time frame?"
When she's brought this up with her husband, he points out that the woman's family lives close by, so his mom should have extra time to visit the couple, too. To that, the poster says, "I want her to visit but I need time frames and need it to not be this long of time period in a row. I have feared and still fear that him fighting me so harshly for his family will end our future together."
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Commenters are offering constructive feedback — and calling out the husband over the mother-in-law — with one saying, "You have a husband issue, not a MIL issue. If you can't work out some reasonable solution here, it's time to consider cutting your losses and leaving, especially before you have children ... This is a hill to die on. If this can't be resolved (and mom moves OUT and doesn't come back to visit until you have an agreement as to when and the parameters of the visit AND she has a return ticket) your relationship is either over or you are destined to be 2nd for the rest of your life. Is that what you want?"
Adds another, "You really need to have a clear conversation with him about this and your expectations within this relationship. Tell him again that you are okay with her visiting, but this extended stay is wearing on you mentally and affecting your work. Remind him that you work from home and you cannot be a host 24-7 to his Mom while he leaves the home for work and his activities. He needs to communicate with you better and you with him."
