We’re Empty Nesters. Here’s What We Regret Not Doing When Our Kids Lived At Home.
When it comes time for your kids to leave the nest, it can be bittersweet, to say the least. On the one hand, you’re proud of the independent young adults you’ve raised. Perhaps you’re also looking forward to having more time to pursue interests and relationships that took a back seat during your active parenting years. But on the other hand, the thought of your kids not living under your roof anymore might feel heartbreaking.
Those who have lived through this transition have the benefit of hindsight as they look back on their years raising kids. We asked empty nesters in HuffPost’s Facebook community what they wish they had done — or done more of — when their kids were still living at home. Here’s what they said.
Responses have been lightly edited for clarity and length.
1. “I wish we had done less running around and spent more time at home just being together.” — Katie D.
2. “I wish we had created a space and more opportunities for their friends to hang out at our house.” — Karen S.
3. “Wish I had relaxed more and stayed more present. I feel like my anxiety took joy out of some beautiful moments.” — Joy G.
4. “I wish I would have taken my son on a few overseas trips when he was younger to introduce him to the wonders of travel and exploration.” — Dawn W.
5. “Wish we did grief counseling after losing three grandparents within 12 months.” — Lisa W.
6. “Wish I had let go of the arguments about the little things that no longer matter — messy house, bathroom mess. Wish I worked less and instead had more dance parties when they were young, picnics, travel and more slow days, especially during the summer.” — Peggy G.
7. “I wish I had made them do more chores and cleaning around the house. Also I wish I had involved them in cooking more. I would have given them many, many more hugs when they were little too.” — Shawn M.
8. “We should have camped more — gotten away, enjoyed hikes, the water, etc.” — Yvette S.
9. “I wish we had taught them about financial adulting — e.g., balancing bank accounts, investing, budgeting. Our kids did OK because they asked for our help and we walked them through the processes.” — Yiota A.
10. “I wish I’d been more patient. I wish I’d offered more one-on-one time.” — Jennifer W.
11. “Wish we’d moved so they’d had better educational and other opportunities. Really wish we’d bought — or started — a business that we all could’ve helped grow, even if we don’t all live near one another. Still working on that one!” — Alexandra W.
12. “I wish I had left their father sooner and took my kids on vacations.” — Pamela D.
13. “Wish we created more family traditions, just small stuff like monthly game nights.” — Sadie H.
Wish I had let go of the arguments about the little things that no longer matter — messy house, bathroom mess.
14. “I regret not listening to them more. I was too task-oriented.” — Jennifer W.
15. “Wish we had lived out of the country/abroad to expose the kids to different cultures.” — Selina F.
16. “I wish I had taken them out of school in the early grades a few times to have adventures in the community. They have a strong sense of responsibility to be where they’re supposed to be, but just a few days over the years to do something different would have been nice for us.” — Deborah W.
17. “Wish I had done more talking and listening! No judgment, just enjoying the time together.” — Krista S.
18. “I wish we’d taken a few more trips to be with family — a few more road trips, just exploring.” — Kathy H.
19. “Wish we’d built them a really cool tree house or playhouse. Wish we’d done a lot of our recent backyard updates while they all still lived here so we could have had more time to enjoy it together.” — Alexandra W.
