Daughter Says Her House Is 'Too Messy' to Host Thanksgiving, So Mom Disinvites Her from the Holiday

The woman says her daughter is known to skip out on her hosting duties, which are meant to be rotated among family members

A mom says she needs an outside opinion after disinviting her daughter from a family Thanksgiving dinner. The problem? Her daughter doesn't want to host the meal because her house is "too messy."

In a post shared on Reddit, the woman writes that holidays in their family are rotated, "so one person hosts the Fourth of July, another hosts Christmas, and another hosts Thanksgiving."

Her daughter, Clara, has a history of "skipping her host duties," and "when it gets to her she has an excuse why she can't host. It ranges but usually goes along the lines of stress or she is too busy."

As a result, other members of the family step in for Clara — a situation that has grown "frustrating," with multiple people voicing their complaints.

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"She bailed on hosting Easter but promised me that she would do Thanksgiving," the woman writes, adding, "At the time I made it very clear she needed to stay true to her word and if she dumped it on someone else she wouldn't be going to Thanksgiving. It usually gets dumped on me."

Fast-forward to now, and the mom called Clara to see about bringing a dessert board to the Thanksgiving meal.

"She told me that she could not host because she had just moved into her home (she moved in July), and it was too messy to host. I told her she could clean since it was a few weeks away. She told me she can't," the woman writes.

So, the woman informed the rest of the group that Thanksgiving would be at her place, not Clara's. "I also informed everyone that Clara is not invited this year to Thanksgiving."

The announcement led to a "huge argument" between mother and daughter.

"She thinks I am a big jerk. My other kids are split, two of them are happy since they are tired of picking up her slack when this happens while others think this is too far," the woman writes.

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Now, she's asking for outside opinions.

Commenters have chimed in, with one asking, "Have you ever had a conversation about coming to a compromise, or seeing why Clara is so adamant about not hosting? ... If I were you, I’d have this honest conversation and see what middle ground can be reached."

Another offered that perhaps Clara would be more comfortable hosting if she had help, "such as someone else organizing the menu and who is bringing what, or hiring someone to clean the common areas of her house. Or perhaps her anxiety would be manageable if you or someone else were to host while she does the menu planning and most of the cooking."