Bride and Groom Want Wedding Guests to Buy Food and 'Collectively' Prepare Meals for Three Day Nuptials: 'Excessive'

“They said that if people weren’t up for that they didn’t deserve to be at the wedding,” a guest detailed on Reddit

A bride and groom want to ask their wedding guests to pitch in on buying and preparing the food at their upcoming wedding.

In a post on Reddit’s popular "Am I The A------" forum a user explained that the bride and groom are considering having their ceremony “at a resort they frequent” that would cost a minimum of “$300 a night” with a minimum stay of three days.

They noted that there is “no restaurant on site” and “the closest town is about an hour away,” so the bride and groom want the wedding party and guests to cook together for the three days and also “collectively” make “the food for the wedding.”

“I told them [that] I felt like it was a lot to expect people to pay that kind of money, stay somewhere for three days and also fully stock kitchens and be expected to make meals the entire time,” the person noted on Reddit.

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“They said that if people weren’t up for that they didn’t deserve to be at the wedding,” they added. “I let them know I would not be up for that and worry others would not either, but they disagree.”

The Redditor noted that the couple would also probably “expect wedding gifts” on top of paying for the wedding weekend, but that it ultimately was too expensive to ask for all of those things.

“... The LEAST amount of money someone would spend to attend this wedding would be $1200 between the cabin, food and gas that’s more than a gift,” the person said. “I feel I upset them by not being fully on board but it seems so excessive and ridiculous to ask of 40-60 people.”

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Several people in the comments agreed with the person, and noted that other guests likely would feel the same. One person wrote, “You are right and you won't be the only one who isn't OK with this.”

Another said that if the couple “can’t provide everything —lodging and catering—they shouldn’t have a wedding out in the middle of nowhere. Period.”

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However, another person offered a different viewpoint, noting that “everyone is entitled to plan a wedding they want,” but they shouldn’t hold it “against people if they decide that they won't/can't the time, energy, or money that is required of them to participate.”

One person said that “as long as they’re very clear in the invitation suite what their expectations are,” and added that “the reception is a party hosted by the couple or their parents. Food and drink should be provided FOR the guests, not expecting the guests to buy and make the food themselves.”

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