Twin-Turbo Dodge Hornet Sounds Like Utter Garbage

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There isn’t nearly enough societal shaming these days, otherwise dumb projects like this Dodge Hornet (the modern crossover, not the cool classic car) with a twin-turbo Hurricrate engine wouldn’t exist. Or at least people wouldn’t be posting about them on the internet, acting like all of us should clap like a troop of trained seals.

Check out the Nissan Patrol build that cost the owner $180,000.

To be clear, the Hornet not only defiles a sacred automotive name in a shameless cash grab, it’s also a crossover nobody wants. After all, people who are looking at some soul-sucking grocery getter don’t like Dodge, a brand that’s built its reputation on fire-breathing muscle cars and testosterone.

But Stellantis, a multinational corporation which owns Dodge, really wants to sell you on the Hornet being a muscle car. Nobody is, of course, buying this, and we mean literally. We suspect, but obviously can’t prove, the giant automaker has pressured or even incentivized online content creators to make stuff like the video we’ve included as a way to sway public opinion.

You see, Stellantis is in serious trouble. Its three big cash cows, Dodge, Jeep, and Ram, aren’t producing like they used to. For us it’s easy to see why: Stellantis has changed the model lineups to suck. Also, the company is now selling Segways at Dodge dealerships – we’re not making that up.

So the result is this video bragging about the “world’s fastest twin-turbo Hurricate-swapped Hornet.” It’s pretty easy to be number one in a field of… one.

Oh, and for good measure, the video’s thumbnail image tries trash talking LS swaps, like anyone who’s playing with a V8 cares about this build.

Unsurprisingly, this blown Hornet sounds like a dog farting through a PVC pipe. Or your neighbor’s annoying Civic. It accelerates about the same. But the guys in the video act super energetic about it, almost like they got a dump truck loaded with cash delivered to their shop ahead of filming. Or they just huffed some paint – we don’t know.

Ultimately, we don’t get to see this Hornet’s quarter mile times, which is curious since it’s supposed to be so fast and all. But these guys were honored Dodge guests at the track in Pontiac, so there’s that.

Dodge is dead as a brand and that’s sad.

Image via Hemmings/YouTube