This Woman Isn't Sure Whether Or Not She Should Leave Her Husband After What She Saw On His Phone, But The Internet Feels STRONGLY That It's Time To File For Divorce
As Artificial Intelligence's capabilities have expanded, the potential for literally anyone to create disturbing and harmful images with Artificial Intelligence has, unfortunately, also expanded. This is all too relevant for Reddit user u/just-at-me-next-time, who went through her husband's phone and was shocked and disappointed by what she found.
And now, she's turning to the internet for advice on what to do.
Here's what happened:
"I (22, female) found something really messed up in my husband's (25, male) phone. What should my course of action be?"
"It's only been a few months since we got married. We had been dating for two years before. I was decluttering his phone gallery, which he knows I do from time to time because his phone is full of useless pictures he doesn't need anymore, so I do it to save space. We both have full access to each other's phones."
"Today, I deleted something I didn't mean to, so I went to the trash folder to retrieve it."
"I'm so shaken. I don't know how to write this. My fingers are trembling..."
"There were two nudes of two of my friends that were AI generated. Which means he probably uploaded their photos to some website that can undress people????"
"Why is there even a website that does that?
My blood went cold. I was stuttering and couldn't breathe, and my heart was palpitating."
"I REALLY REALLY LOVED HIM, AND I SAW NO SIGNS. I don't know what to do."
"TLDR: I found AI generated nudes in husband's phone."
That's the original post, and my heart just breaks for this woman.
And, unfortunately, we know she's not alone in this experience. There have been numerous articles showcasing the ways in which this kind of sexual violence is becoming increasingly common, impacting victims that range from high school students and teachers to famous people, such as Taylor Swift.
Here are some of the original poster's questions and comments she's shared in the discussion thread:
"It's my FRIENDS that we go out with REGULARLY. All this time, he was fantasizing about what they look like naked????"
"Should I tell the friends??? I am so at a loss on what to do."
The comments were all furious on her behalf, and frequently expressed a belief that she needed to confront him and consider filing for divorce.
"He’s probably masturbating to them. Yikes. What do you do? Bring it up. What else can you do?? He’s not going to have any good answer, and he’s going to downplay it. So you need to decide if it’s something you can forgive/work out regardless of what he says. My opinion: that’s freaking disturbing."
"What he did is beyond disrespectful to you and your friends, as well as creepy. It's one thing to acknowledge someone is objectively attractive, but to go out of your way to save images on your phone and make AI images of people you know naked — that's crossing a boundary I wouldn't be okay with."
"As uncomfortable as it will be, you need to bring this up and talk to him about it. If you don't, it will likely eat away at you and your trust in him."
"I went through something similar...I caught my ex masturbating to my friend's photos. All of my friends."
"I had a hard time being their friends after — because it triggered me so badly.
I left him. Don't regret it. Please walk — you'll never be, nor feel, sexually safe with this man."
"Very sorry for your situation. Honestly, I’d tell you to go to a family member’s house and set yourself up with a lawyer as a 'just in case.' After that, for your own sake, speak with him before you raise this with anybody else. But what could he say to you that would make this okay? Genuine question."
"I can’t imagine anybody ever forgiving that type of invasion of privacy, so I wouldn’t expect your friends to forgive him.
But your friends might likely flip the fuck out if you don’t divorce him immediately.
I’d feel weird not telling them, but it will massively escalate your situation beyond control.
I’d say wait until you understand your legal bases are covered, and you’re potentially ready to commit to that."
Since then, the original poster has provided an update. Here it is:
"UPDATE: I confronted him. The audacity he had, you guys."
"Firstly, to those of you saying we have no boundaries, yes, we're clingy. No, he's never once said he has a problem with me going through his phone.
This is normal for us. I wasn't even decluttering because I was suspicious and wanted to find something. He seriously has lots of useless shit.
Secondly, he was a perfect saintly boyfriend and husband. No one could've guessed he'd do this; he was so loyal. And he always talked about how he only had eyes for me and didn't want to be with anyone else.
He gave me a lot of gifts and never said 'no' to something I wanted to buy."
"So anyway, he tried very hard to explain this doesn't count as cheating, even though he said that if I did it, he wouldn't have forgiven me. EVEN THOUGH he's been such a loudmouth about how cheating is the worst, trust is all that's important, cheaters deserve the worst, blah blah blah."
"He revealed to me he has had a porn addiction all this time. And he watches porn specifically when we've fought, and he's mad at me, so he does it to spite me privately.
He said it was my fault for making him mad and fighting with him. He also assumed that I fantasized about other guys, too, which, FYI, I do not and never have since we were together. He's all I cared about and wanted."
"He said he regrets marrying me and wonders what it would've been like to marry my friends. Hah, my entire life was built around this man."
"I never thought something like this would ever happen to me... but here we are.
To the guys saying this is normal, I hope your wives found out."
Well, that's the update. The comments since their confrontation highlight just how cruel he was in his response to her:
"Checking in as a male—your husband is a huge creep. An idle fantasy is whatever. But creating AI porn of them is creepy as fuck. 'I’ll see you naked one way or another' is a crazy thought process."
"'If you did it he wouldn't have forgiven you.' You shouldn't either. He sounds like an absolute dick."
"He said he regrets marrying you. Time to walk, hon."
"You’re just 22, girl! SO YOUNG. Read again: SO YOUNG! You don’t deserve this crap. Don’t accept it!"
So, what do you think? What advice would you give her? Have you encountered a situation similar to this? Do you have any general thoughts on the future of AI-generated "deepfakes"? Let me know in the comments.
