All They Wanted Was a Simple Birthday Celebration at Home. Their Grandma's Guilt Trip Ruined the Day

• One Reddit user wanted a quiet birthday at home, but their grandmother's guilt trip overruled their wishes

• Feeling pressured by their family, they caved and spent the evening at her house, only to feel drained and sad

• After the stressful day, they turned to Reddit for advice on whether they were in the wrong

An anonymous user recently turned to Reddit for advice after their birthday plans didn’t go as planned.

The user, who recently celebrated their birthday, explained that their family traditionally gathers at their grandmother’s house to celebrate birthdays. However, this year, the poster decided they wanted something different.

“I told my parents I’d rather it be simple; stay home and get takeout,” they shared in their post. Their parents initially agreed, allowing them to spend their special day as they wished.

The poster admits they have a complicated relationship with their grandmother. “I think she can be manipulative, guilt trips, and not respect my boundaries at times,” they explain.

In an effort to prevent any misunderstandings, they were upfront with her about not wanting to celebrate their birthday in the "traditional" way a week prior. “She looked confused and didn’t say anything,” they recount.

Then, on the night before their birthday, the poster's parents suddenly questioned their decision, despite previously giving their approval. And on the actual day, their family continued pressuring the poster to change their mind.

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Tension escalated when the user’s grandmother called their mother in the morning, asking, “What time are you guys coming over? I have gifts.” When the mother reminded her that their child did not wish to come, the grandmother was audibly upset and broke down in tears.

Following the call, the poster's mother guilt-tripped them further, saying, “Well, it’s like you put a knife through her heart.” This resulted in the anonymous poster feeling guilty and upset.

Trying to compromise, the poster reached out to their grandmother via text. “I texted my grandma that I could come over the day after my birthday to hang out and open the gifts,” they wrote. However, their message was met with silence.

Despite their efforts to stand firm, the overwhelming guilt ultimately led them to cave in. “I sat in bed looking at the wall and feeling like a monster,” they write. By the late afternoon, they reached out to their grandmother, asking if a visit in two hours would be okay.

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Their grandmother took more than an hour to respond, but the visit was eventually set. When they arrived, they opened their gifts but were left feeling disheartened. “I honestly believed they were thought about at the last minute,” they write of the presents.

Their suspicions were confirmed when they spotted a Walgreens receipt in the kitchen, which indicated that the gifts had been purchased just 20 minutes before their arrival. “It’s not like I wanted her to gift me grand and expensive gifts," they write.

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"I feel gifts are optional on my birthday,” they continue. But "if getting one, I would prefer something small and thoughtful.”

The user also had one final request for the visit: to leave within two hours to decompress from the unwanted celebration. However, their mother and grandmother decided to watch a Netflix show, leaving them to sit alone in another room until the show was over.

When they got back home, the poster ran to their bedroom, feeling upset about the whole ordeal. “I quietly cried in bed because I was stressed out the whole day,” they confess. “I felt weak and like I prioritized other people’s wants.”

Now, the poster is wondering whether their refusal to go to their grandmother’s house in the first place was the right decision to make.

"So everyone’s birthdays are about your grandma? For someone making such a big deal about being the place to celebrate, you’d think there’d be more to her celebration than last minute gifts and nothing else," one commenter writes. "But - now you know. All she wanted was the control of having your special day revolve around her. Next time, ignore her guilt trips and do what you want. Maybe even make your own plans with other people and accept the punishment she’s going to give as a result."

Adds another, "I hate my birthday to this day and I'm 40 because it's never been about me to this day. You need to put your foot down about this before it's too late (it's annoying but doesn't sound too late yet)."

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