This Viral 'Mom Slop' Video Shows What's Wrong With Parenting Today
A viral cooking video is sparking conversations about the pressures of motherhood in the age of social media.
Maja Barnes frequently shares videos about cooking for her three toddlers on TikTok and Instagram under the name The Polish Mom. But one particular post about a Crockpot sausage and chicken pasta dinner has taken on a life of its own, garnering more than 17 million views and quite a range of negative comments about Barnes’ kitchen skills, the nutritional value of the dish, her appearance and more.
After one X user posted the video along with the caption “This next generation of moms is doomed.. ,” manycommentersjumped to her defense.
I’m confused. This is a pretty great crockpot recipe that’s not fried, over-processed, and contains both a carb and LOTS of protein which can be hard to get kids to eat - AND HER KIDS EAT IT?? What’s the issue?? https://t.co/MnnuvY9nlX
— Meg W. ☕️🌧️🍂 VOTE (@_nomadic_soul) October 9, 2024
Writer and working mom Marlo Slaybeck tweeted, “This is called ‘mom slop’ — it’s the backbone of every civilization’s greatest culinary achievements.”
She added that her Instant Pot meals connect her to “generations upon generations of women who hastily mixed ingredients together” to feed their families, and pointed to dishes from cultures across the world that can fit into the “mom slop” category.
“Although some might think ‘mom slop’ sounds totally unappetizing, I think there’s an ancestral memory it conjures up for so many people, of meals moms have whipped together in haste but with the almost scientific mastery of what ingredients she can pull together that’ll taste good and satisfy the appetites of several people,” Slaybeck told HuffPost. “My parents are Syrian, so I immediately thought of the comfort meals my mom threw together like a no-frills ‘maqloob’ or ‘mjadara’ without the crunchy fried onions because there wasn’t enough time to add that embellishment.”
She recalled how her mom would sometimes “deconstruct” an iconic Levantine dish and prepare it in a slow cooker, which was not as visually appealing but still delicious and filling.
“It’s maybe a crude way to describe these meals, but I think mom slop captures it in an endearing and low-pressure way, too,” Slaybeck added, noting that many mothers responded positively to her tweet by saying that the term helped remove the stress from cooking and made it feel more accessible and intuitive.
For Barnes’ part, she simply wants to share realistic and humorous videos about her life as a mom to 2-year-old twins and a 3-year-old.
“I’ve learned to be creative with ingredients I have on hand,” she told HuffPost. “My parents didn’t have a lot of money when I was a kid, so everything had to be used at the house before getting more groceries. I used to be an army spouse, and I learned how to make meals on a budget. You will find a lot of easy meal ideas on my page.”
When she faces negativity ― for instance, the commenters who criticize her for having her hair, nails and makeup done as a busy mom on a budget ― she tends to turn to humor and satire. Her videos frequently feature cheeky titles like “Dinner for my kids & husband when I need $ for my new nails” and “Lunch for my 3 kids as a lazy SAHM who is learning how to cook.”
“It is crazy to me that people can put other people down just for trying to make a meal,” Barnes added.
With the rise of “tradwife” content on social media in recent years, it seems as if people are more emboldened to criticize wives and mothers who don’t measure up to those impossible standards. Even those who don’t face external judgment may set ridiculous expectations for themselves.
Kielbasa mom confirms my suspicion that men are appalled by actual SAHMs doing mom stuff like making affordable dinners with simple ingredients, thrifting clothes, skipping workouts bc the baby didn’t sleep. They want the illusion sold by billionaire content creators.
— girl fieri (@realgirl_fieri) October 10, 2024
“I think there’s increasing pressure on everyone to have picture-perfect lives that can be effortlessly captured for social media,” Slaybeck said. “I mostly view the influencer tradwife trend as being something designed for consumption, not emulation, because of how patently unrealistic it is for most moms and families.”
In reality, most parents don’t have the resources or bandwidth to prepare intricate meals in the vein of influencers like Hannah Neeleman and Nara Smith. Even as she shares household tasks with her husband, Slaybeck noted that the demands of full-time work and parenting require a more pragmatic approach to mealtime.
“I used to be a food snob and cooked elaborate meals and French pastry, and I became a mom and accepted that I needed to adjust,” Slaybeck said.
“Before I became a busy mom, I had high expectations of myself and was committed to make everything from scratch, but I’ve quickly realized it’s not doable,” Barnes echoed. “I would rather spend time with my kids than in the kitchen most of my day. I will make a homemade bread, but I’ll also throw on some frozen chicken nuggets for lunch, and it’s perfectly fine.”
Dinners that aren’t picture-perfect might actually play an important role in child development.
“Real life has burnt sausages sometimes ― or chicken that just never cooks for some reason so you end up feeding your kids cereal or mac-and-cheese because it’s 9 p.m. and they need to eat and go to sleep,” said parenting coach Kristene Geering. “One of the things that I hope we are teaching our children is how to be resilient when things don’t go your way, and one of the best ways to teach that is to model that. Hard to model resilience when everything is perfect all the time.”
She was also struck by the criticism about the nutritional value of Barnes’ family meal.
“I’ve worked with families in all kinds of ways for 30 years, including families with special needs,” Geering explained. “I would like to announce to the world that there is no one-size-fits-all ‘perfectly nutritious’ meal.”
She emphasized that real professionals are better suited to help individual families determine what is best for their children’s individual dietary needs, whether they can’t metabolize certain nutrients, have food allergies, need to gain weight, etc.
“There is absolutely no way you can look at any particular meal and conclude that it’s not meeting a child’s nutritional needs because (A) each child’s needs are truly unique, and (B) nutritional needs are based on what they eat overall, not on what they eat at one particular meal,” Geering said.
Slaybeck thought the meal was very relatable to busy parents trying to put dinner on the table.
“The kinds of ingredients she used, too ― from non-perishables you can easily pull from the pantry to a mix of proteins and cheese ― these are the basic units of a quick and filling dinner that I could see myself making as a mom who works full time,” she noted.
The day that Barnes made the Crockpot pasta dinner was a particularly hectic one.
“I had so much going on,” she recalled. “Did I include a vegetable? No. And that’s OK ― I offered them produce throughout the day.”
“Please let’s stop this sad trend judging other moms,” she added. “A lot of toddlers are super picky and won’t touch a lot of things. I’ve been super picky myself. Kindness doesn’t cost anything!”
Although Barnes likes to make satirical content poking fun at the negative comments she receives, she also focuses on the positive responses from fellow mothers who inspire her to keep sharing her cooking videos.
“I never would’ve thought anybody would want to watch my content, and comments like ‘I’ve tried your rice recipe, and it was life changing!’ make my day!” she said.
Despite the criticism, some positivity emerged from Barnes’ viral moment as well. Slaybeck received many touching replies to her “mom slop” defense.
“I had so many people respond to my post mentioning they were going to call their mom and tell her they love her, or that they still get the craving for some meal mom prepared on a weeknight by scrounging together random ingredients from the fridge and pantry and it somehow turned out delicious,” she said.
Geering thinks the outpouring of support for Barnes speak to a broader uplifting movement in the parenting space.
“There are a lot of folks coming to this mom’s defense and putting down the hateful and rude remarks. That says a lot about society, that even when we’re mostly anonymous, a whole lot of us will step up and say something to counter hate. There was a lot of support for a working stay-at-home mom, and that’s heartwarming to me.”
