I took my 17-year-old daughter to a Qatari ‘wellness retreat’ – this is what happened

It’s strange to find yourself in middle age surrounded by hundreds of teenagers, but that’s life. Mine turned sharply towards the end of 2019, when demand for travel writers tailed off for some reason, and I retrained as a history teacher.

I was lucky: teaching is rewarding if stressful, and I’m at a lovely girls’ school where they sometimes say please and thank you. However, I now spend more time with other people’s children than I do my own. My daughter Ava sailed through her GCSEs while I cursed and flailed getting others through theirs – to the extent that we’ve lost the bond we once shared. I used to tie shoelaces, plan outings and plait hair. Now we say goodbye in the morning and wonder when we might say hello again.

Of course teens have their own lives to lead, but it makes me sad. Desperately so. Could we get back what we once had? Spoiler alert: yes, but it did take an extreme holiday to find out.

Zulal Wellness Resort in Qatar is the sister property of Chiva-Som in Thailand, which pioneered spa breaks with a focus on traditional Asian medicine. Zulal – an hour’s drive north of Doha in Al Ruwais, at the northern tip of the peninsula – is Qatari owned but managed by the Chiva-Som team. It has 180 rooms split across an adults’ only side, dubbed Serenity, and the more family-oriented Discovery. The look is the same throughout: minimalist beige cubes contrasting sharply with a wraparound turquoise pool and a permanent blue sky. A private beach looks out towards a mangrove plantation at sea.

I took Ava, now 17, on the promise I wouldn’t embarrass her with any of my old pet names, such as Poppin, and that we’d get lots of sunshine with good food and time to talk. I wasn’t wrong, although our first morning was taken up with a very detailed “get to know you” chat with the resort’s wellness team. After we’d discussed sleep patterns and bowel movements and menstrual cycles – and done quite a bit of uncomfortable shifting in seats – we got to work on why we were really here.

“We’d just like to spend more time together,” I said. Ava smiled sweetly and nodded.

This wasn’t quite as straightforward as expected: many of the facilities are divided by gender, in line with the resort’s focus on traditional Arabic and Islamic medicine (TAIM). Fair enough – you don’t come to the Middle East and expect the West. There is no alcohol, but this honestly wasn’t a problem, as the place was so relaxed that it barely crossed my mind.

Strangely, it may well have been these elements which so effectively pulled us from the everyday. The gender separation, for example, meant that we each had plenty of our own space, rather than feeling that we had to be together ‘bonding’ every minute of the day. It also made the time we did spend together more special.

Mealtimes saw a bewildering variety of mocktails, most of which were actually tasty. One of our first activities together was a mocktail making masterclass with bar manager, Safik. Like all of the staff here, Safik was endlessly cheerful. Perhaps there is something in this clean living after all.

Despite there being no gluten in the bread or refined sugar anywhere, the food was superb – presentation very mindful, portions quite demure (see? I can do Gen-Z meme culture too)’. Everything on the menu is allocated a calorie, carb and protein count.

I was quite pleased, too, with my TAIM consultation, which is similar in concept to Ayurvedic medicine. Being suspicious of anything that sounds slightly woo woo, it was heartening to learn – after a series of questions and a check of my pulse – that I was an Earth type. This sounded more normal than the shrill and testy Fire people, or the flappy and disorganised Airs.

Similarly, Ava loved getting her hair and nails done. It is a spa after all, even if men and women can’t share a hot tub after a taxing day of massages.

Luckily, at 17, Ava was old enough to access the Serenity side of the resort, so we could use the mixed gym together. It may not sound like much, but a high-five after an intense cardio burst went a way towards getting our dad and daughter mojo back.

Another great improvement over a standard luxury resort was Zulal’s phone-free policy, which though not rigorously policed, was still effective. Wi-Fi is only available in the room, so it made a welcome change from seeing parents and kids forever scrolling in silence and meant that our downtime together was spent actually talking.

Such interludes were rare, however: the wellness team put together a packed schedule including gym classes, physiotherapy for my many injuries, Padel tennis, evening stargazing and a facial skin analysis for the pair of us. Ava was found to be defying the ageing process by a year, while I was celebrating an early 50th. Cue more laughter as we were shown a horrifying digital rendering of our faces at 80.

If any of these various tests do throw up a health issue, physical injury or aesthetic concern, there are therapists here who can work on improving it. The best medicine for us, though, was just chatting as we watched the sun set over the beach each night. I can’t say we’re perfect, and I certainly can’t turn back time to Ava’s childhood – but our relationship does feel different now, improved and re-energised somehow. We had the sort of conversations that you only have outside of the everyday domestic bubble, when there is, frankly, very little pressure to do much of anything besides just be. It was all, really, rather liberating.

Wasn’t it, Poppin?

Essentials

Matt Hampton was a guest of Healing Holidays (020 3372 6945), which offers five nights from £1,799 per person (full board, based on two sharing), or from £4,299 per family of four, including transfers from Doha and a personalised programme of treatments and therapies. Zulal Wellness Resort (00974 4477 6500) has rooms from £376 per night (full board), including treatments and therapies.