Older Adults Are Sharing The Little Life Moments They Didn't Realize They'd Never Experience Again, And It's Making Me Reconsider Everything
Once we pass a certain age, we all tend to look back at childhood in mourning. Where did all those happy memories go? When was the last time you swung on the monkey bars or saw your favorite teacher?
But those realizations don't stop in early adulthood. Older adults on r/AskOldPeople recently shared their answers to the question: "What’s something most people don’t realize they will never experience again in life?" Here's what they had to say:
1."The first time I heard this, it hurt bad. One day, you will pick up your little boy/girl and carry them for the very last time. It broke my heart when I heard it cause I realized it was true, and I couldn't remember the last time I picked up and carried my now 24-year-old son. The night of my daughter's 13th birthday, I decided I would pick her up and carry her to bed for the last time in my life. That way, I would always remember it. Afterward, I ran to my room and cried in the bathroom. Enjoy it while it lasts."
"My 10-year-old is too heavy for me now. It's no longer when the last time I put her down will be, but when will be the last time she slips her hand into mine when we're put walking?"
2."The last time that you played with your friends."
3."When people tell new parents how it all goes so fast. It's both so cliche and so true. It does not feel fast when you're in it, but then you blink, and they are adults. Cherish it. Cuddle them while you can."
4."Getting a call from your parent for the last time."
5."Getting a call from your adult child for the last time."
6."Pain-free movement."
"Enjoy your healthy young bodies while you can because they do not last forever, no matter how well you take care of yourself."
7."Having the older generation available to answer questions. There is so much I wish I had asked my parents and grandparents. There is nowhere to get the answers."
8."The feeling that time is unlimited. You reach a certain age, and you realize that though you don't know what's left, a lot of the sand in the hourglass must be gone."
"I'm 70. My dad died when he was 84, the same as his father, so I'm anticipating my last year on earth will be 2038. And yes, when I was young, I felt eternal and invincible. No longer. The clock is ticking, and every morning, I wake up grateful for another day."
"I'm just 31, and I've been having a bit of a 1/3rd life crisis. My 20s zooming by was enough for me to realize we're gonna die much sooner than we think."
9."Teleporting — falling asleep in the car when riding home at night as a kid and then waking up in your bed in your PJs the next morning."
10."Dropping off and picking up my kids from school. When the last time happens, you don't realize it, and that's sad."
11."Somewhat along these lines for hockey parents is tying your kid's skates for the last time. Even though a kid can tie his shoes at an early age, it takes a few years for them to be able to tie their skates tight enough. They typically get this on their own around age 12–13. It's a huge relief once you don't have to do it anymore, but you also begin to miss it because it's a small little connection you have with him and also the other kids on the team because you grow really familiar with these kids over the years."
"So it's a hockey tradition in lots of places for a parent to come into the locker room before their final high school game and tie their skates for them one last time. Lots of dads come out of that locker room crying like babies on that day. I have one more year left before it's my turn."
12."I will never get to hug my mom or my dad again. Even though it's something I realize, it's still a little hard to believe."
13."For abled people: Ride a bike, or roller skate, climb something or even just run with complete careless abandon."
"When I don't want to run or exercise, I often think of this. I know a day will come when I wish I could do all these things again."
14."The last time you take your kids to the park to play. I loved seeing them so happy and making friends at the park. Then, one day, they just don't want to go anymore."
15."If you didn't take the time to write down the recipe and practice it, your favorite meal that Mom cooked."
16."Going outside to play with your friends. Ringing the doorbell of their parents' house and asking if they can come out to play. Never realized it until about a year ago."
17."I will never hear my dad's voice again. He's elderly and has a cognitive degenerative disease, and one of the many steps of progression is losing his ability to speak. He hit that step about a year ago. He will not recover and he will not improve, he will just slowly continue to decline. He can no longer effectively communicate as he cannot speak, has no use of one area (his dominant hand), and has only about 50% weaknesses in the other. He cannot speak, write, or type. Any stories of his life that he didn't share before are lost, and he will never be able to say I love you. It's a weird feeling."
18."Sleeping comfortably through the night. Or just sleeping comfortably for a few hours."
"For me, that's the absolute worst part of getting older! I remember when I was a kid, I could sleep anywhere, and the later I stayed up, the later I slept. Now, the internal clock does its thing, and I'm up at the same time. $7K mattress and still can't get comfortable. It’s horse shit! Why can't I sleep like when I was a teen or younger? Like back when I fought naps instead of craved them."
19."The flavor of foods when you don't know they are going to change the recipe to make it healthier and worse-tasting. I still love Goldfish crackers, but I had no idea when I ate my last bag of the OG recipe that I would never taste it again."
20."Sex."
21."First love. There's something about starting something and not knowing how an ending feels. After that first time, I always knew pain could come."
22."When I was little, my mother would hand me a dollar and ask me to run to the store for butter, or milk, or whatever she had just realized she had run out of. I would run top speed to the store, get my stuff, and race top speed home. Racing through the streets was the most normal thing in the world. At some point (I was maybe 10?), I suddenly felt self-conscious about running at top speed through the neighborhood and started walking like every other pedestrian. That was the end of high-speed errands for me. There was a time when I last used a pay phone and a dial phone. There was a time when I called 411 and never, ever did it again. I don’t think 411 operators even exist anymore. I remember when I threw out our last phone book, knowing that another one wouldn’t be coming and that it was the end of an era."
"There comes a time when you'll never sit in a classroom again. You'll run into a childhood friend (that you saw every single day of your life for the first ten or so years) when you’re in your early 20s. You’ll greet each other happily, chit-chat for five minutes, wish each other well, then never lay eyes on each other again. You’ll eat some cherished food item, and the company will be bought, and they’ll stop making it, and it’ll exist only in your memory. Same with food made by relatives. They’ll die, and the recipes or techniques will die with them. The character of neighborhoods will change completely. Beloved restaurants and shops will close. What was once safe, homey, pleasant, and welcoming will become corporate and forbidding, or dirty and unsafe, or be rebuilt and unrecognizable. The economy will change, and bustling factories will be turned into condos or sit derelict. All the places and people you know will leave or die. There are few constants in life, and one of them is change."
What's a moment in your life you now realize you won't experience again? For me, thinking about all the worry-free things I did as a kid has me in tears. Let me know in the comments or by using this anonymous form.
