Jennifer Lopez Opens Up About Life After Ben Affleck: 'My Whole F*cking World Exploded'
Jennifer Lopez has given raw and candid details about the lessons she learned in the wake of her split from husband Ben Affleck.
In a conversation with Nikki Glaser published by Interview, J.Lo alluded to her ongoing divorce from Affleck, whom she married in July 2022, nearly 20 years after the two called off their original engagement in 2004. Lopez filed for divorce on August 20, 2024, citing April 26, 2024 as the date of their separation.
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'With This Is Me…Now and the project that you mentioned earlier, I felt like, whoa, I got here. I’m good,' Lopez began, referring to her ninth studio album and accompanying movie musical, released in 2023. 'I did all the work and look at where I am, and then it was like my whole fucking world exploded.'
She told Glaser that self-growth has been 'a lifelong process.'
'There’s times when I thought I figured it out, and then life goes, "Let’s send you another thing and see if you fall for it. Let’s see if you really have learned that lesson." And I hadn’t,' Lopez said. 'I understand that now in a much deeper way, which doesn’t mean that I won’t make mistakes in the future, but again, when your whole house blows up, you’re standing there in the rubble going, "How do I not ever let that happen again?" And then you start examining it little by little saying, "Okay, I did this, this was my part in it, this was what I should have seen early on, this is what I didn’t look at." Those things are what really are the lessons.'
She continued, 'When you get to a point where you think that you’ve learned the lessons, and then it blows up in your face again, you realise, "Okay, I haven’t, so what is it that I need to look at right now?" I would say, never stop looking inward, because it’s so easy to blame everybody else.'
Alluding to her summer—which she spent mostly apart from Affleck—Lopez said, 'You have to be complete, if you want something that’s more complete. You have to be good on your own. I thought I learned that, but I didn’t. And then, this summer, I had to be like, "I need to go off and be on my own. I want to prove to myself that I can do that."'
When it comes to facing life as a newly single woman, Lopez said that her approach has evolved. 'It feels lonely, unfamiliar, scary. It feels sad. It feels desperate. But when you sit in those feelings and go, "These things are not going to kill me," it’s like actually, I am capable of joy and happiness all by myself,' she told Glaser. 'Being in a relationship doesn’t define me. I can’t be looking for happiness in other people. I have to have happiness within myself. I used to say I’m a happy person, but was still looking for something for somebody else to fill, and it’s just like, "No, I’m actually good."'
She added, 'Somebody who truly loves you will help you heal those parts of yourself. That’s what I’ve learned about love, that it is a secure thing. You make me feel safe, and when I fall short of the glory, you understand me and you help me to grow to be better, because you have your boundaries and I have my boundaries. And I go, "Here’s where you’re falling short for me and here’s where I’m falling short for you." And so, we get better at those things together.'
When Glaser suggested that Lopez now has higher standards for the next person she dates, Lopez revealed that she isn’t on the market: 'There’s no new bar because I’m not looking for anybody. How’s that?' She added, 'For people who are romantics and love being in relationships and want to grow old with somebody, we think, "I have to have that to be whole and happy." And you don’t.'
Despite it all, Lopez says she has no regrets about how things went down with Affleck.
'That doesn’t mean it didn’t almost take me out for good. It almost did. But now, on the other side of it, I think to myself, "Fuck, that is exactly what I needed. Thank you, god. I’m sorry it took me so long. I’m sorry that you had to do this to me so many times. I should have learned it two or three times ago. I get it. You had to hit me really hard over the head with a fucking sledgehammer. You dropped the house on me. Don’t have to do it again,"' she explained. 'I finally got it! And by the way, that doesn’t mean I have everything figured out. Now I’m excited, when you say you’re just going to be on your own. Yes, I’m not looking for anybody, because everything that I’ve done over the past 25, 30 years, being in these different challenging situations, what can I fucking do when it’s just me flying on my own.'
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